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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having a newborn baby's ears pierced.

217 replies

metaphoricus · 27/09/2016 21:41

I know that millions of people do it.
But the baby has no choice. I would so like to know the explanations for the decision to put a hole through your baby's perfectly formed ears.
Why would you do that?
(I had a friend who did that, and I had to ring an ambulance because the 2 month old baby got a blood infection). Mum didn't want to call an ambulance because she was afraid of being told off for doing this to her child. She was bathing her 2 month old baby's ear in olive oil, and hoping for the best. Please let your child grow up, and then decide if they want a piercing. Babes in arms do not have a choice.

OP posts:
Tartyflette · 28/09/2016 01:20

So what exactly is the right age to get your ears pierced?
I had mine done at 11 just before going to grammar school where they were a definite no-no! No-one else had had them done. I did in fact feel a little bit, well, chavvy, not that the word existed then. I think I was considered a bit common. (that word definitely existed!) (sorry!)
But I'd lived abroad up to that point and was used to seeing tiny children with pierced ears and my DM was all for it.
It was even done by a Dr (relative) but sadly he had Parkinsons and didn't make a great job of it, the holes are lopsided. Sad.
But I am genuinely curious as to what age would be considered acceptable these days.

avamiah · 28/09/2016 01:24

Tarty,
probably 18 .
haha

IceBeing · 28/09/2016 01:26

yeah..either a baby's body is the property of the parents to do with as they see fit (and I am sure we can imagine why that isn't a good idea) or it isn't.

It isn't by the way....it belongs to the baby.

FWIW I spent 6 weeks in intensive care because of my ear piercings, and I had them done at 16. Would have killed me stone dead as a newborn.

avamiah · 28/09/2016 01:32

IceBeing,
must of been pretty serious, did you lose a ear?
As my mum had breast cancer and a full masectomy but she was only in hospital 8 days.

Original poster
metaphoricus · 28/09/2016 01:40

Of course there is no right age. My mil is 87 and she's still only thinking about having it done. Me? Never. I have ugly ears so no need to draw more attention to them. Neither of my DDs have ever shown any interest in having it done. Not my mother, nor any of my aunts. And not any of DHs four sisters. And we've all managed to struggle through life regardless. When you think about it, it's a wonder we ever found anybody to marry us all, what with having no earrings and such .Still, I suppose it saved us all a lot of pain and cash.

OP posts:
IceBeing · 28/09/2016 01:42

nah - it was bacterial endocarditis caused by the infection of the piercing.

My exploits in ear piercing left me with multiple scars from the central lines they kept having to put in me and a (now uninhabited) bacterial colony on the valve of my heart that makes it a bit more shit and leaky than the average.

If it had happened 16 years earlier as a newborn I would have died because the treatments didn't exist back then. In fact I made it by about 5 years.

IceBeing · 28/09/2016 01:44

I think from about 12 upwards kids are consulted on medical procedures that will be done on them, so from 12 with parents consent would work for me.

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho · 28/09/2016 01:50

I remember in school a load of us were comparing ear piercings and came to the conclusion it was better to have it done later otherwise when you grow up the holes aren't in quite the right place. No idea if this is actually true though...

I pierced mine myself in my teens. After doing one ear I was horrified at having to go through it again. Grin

Original poster
metaphoricus · 28/09/2016 01:51

icebeing That must have been a terrible thing for you to go through. And for your parents. Flowers

OP posts:
IceBeing · 28/09/2016 01:55

Much rougher on my parents than me...I was stoned on morphine most of the time.

I think my DM in particular felt terrible that she had given me the go ahead (even at 16 I wouldn't have done it without that) and had her own done at the same time with no problem whatsoever.

Imagine being responsible for the death of your baby over vanity.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 28/09/2016 02:03

Totally irrelevant avamiah, but I ended up in intensive care through complications from my first mastectomy during breast cancer (2014). Sadly, each person's situation differs, I'm glad your mum had a straightforward time of it after mastectomy.

The dr frankly told me that had I waited 12 hours to come back to the ed, I'd have been dead.

Ice, I completely agree with your last statement.

pugsake · 28/09/2016 02:05

The four c's.

I'm common especially by mn standards Grin
I hate it. DD1 was 8 when I let her get hers done.

avamiah · 28/09/2016 02:15

Iceberg,
Surely it was Perichondritis you had due to the infection of the piercing and not endocarditis?

avamiah · 28/09/2016 02:17

Anyway its enough to put you off ear piercing your baby for life.

WankingMonkey · 28/09/2016 02:18

Stop wearing the earrings and it closes up. So no. It's not for the rest of your life.

I genuinely want to know how long this is meant to take. As I still have a hole in my tongue, in my eyebrown, ears (2 places) and bellybutton. And I haven't had anything in them for coming up 10 years now

Had a bit of an obsession with piercings around the 16-17 stage of my life.

Now wondering if I am some kind of reverse superhuman who does not heal as one should Confused

FindingNemoFindingDory · 28/09/2016 03:31

I couldn't care less... It's their child...

I don't think I'd ever do it. However, it can look quite cute Blush

GinIsIn · 28/09/2016 04:33

Sandy - FGM and forced marriage are cultural too. So was foot binding. Are we meant to approve of those? Hmm

The thing is, if you had your own ears done when you were tiny, you genuinely have no idea what you are talking about when it comes to how it feels. Having had mine done when I was old enough to consent, I can tell you it hurts a fuck load more than a vaccination. I happen to have pierced ears. As far as I'm aware, my earrings have never protected me from meningitis or diphtheria. But thanks very much for bringing up the daft comparison because it allows the sane ones of us to shout 'BINGO!' We have a full house of bullshit.

ConvincingLiar · 28/09/2016 07:10

I haven't worn earrings for 13 years. Whilst the holes might have closed up I still have indentations and my ears are occasionally a bit manky. On that basis I would consider piercing a permanent body modification. I wouldn't allow it for under 12s.

YellowCrocus · 28/09/2016 07:20

Agree with the poster above- many hideous and entirely inapproriate practices are considered culturally acceptable. The sooner people realise that this is not a good justification for mutilating their children the better.

DiJiBiDi · 28/09/2016 07:54

Aren't some of you sweet! Hating on cultures that have their children's ears.

If you hate something doesn't mean you can undermine someone else's culture and parenting, it's not CHILD ABUSE!

Having you're baby's ear pierced does not = horrible parent.

And yes some of you do need to get over yourselves, acting all high and mighty because you didn't have it done for your child, while your all it...

How about feeding children a snacks that contain harmful chemicals,food dyes and pesticides one could say that child abuse!
Giving you're child take away, letting them drink coke that's harmful to their insides.

Isn't that child abuse? The child has no choice what it eats??

scarednoob · 28/09/2016 08:31

Not your ears = not your choice. It really is that simple. No culture entitles you to own someone else's body.

This should apply to lots of things that are done to babies and young girls.

BreatheDeep · 28/09/2016 08:41

Stop saying 'it's my culture so it's ok'!! There are a lot of things that are due to culture that are really really not ok (FGM, forced marriage, honour killing etc). Obviously ear piercing is not on a level with these but you cannot use culture as your reason that it is perfectly acceptable.

Personally I think it's not right to make the decision for someone else to have their ears pierced.

And whoever said there are no nerve endings in the earlobe...... The emergency services actually use earlobe pinching as a way to check responsiveness on unconscious people. It fucking hurts, so much that you can't avoid reacting if you are able to!

honeysucklejasmine · 28/09/2016 09:10

IceBeing yikes! That's awful. Flowers

I had my ears pierced at 12. As soon as I swapped the piercing ones for all the pretty hoops and studs I had bought (from Claire's, natch) I found out I was allergic to nickel. Gruesome. I am 30 now and still need to squeeze puss out of the very obvious holes.

There were loads of things I wanted to reply to, but luckily MN has prevailed and said them all already. But LOL at "ear lobes don't have nerve endings"! Almost woke the baby up snorting in disbelief.

Fwiw I will not be piercing my dd's ears. Because, you know, they are her ears.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 28/09/2016 09:20

I think it make sure you look like you have big ol' ears when they are babies.

What happened to just using the sticky ones? they used to be really cool - heart shapes, star shapes etc.

I got mine done when I was 11. Big mistake and I developed a weird phobia of people touching my ears

Batteriesallgone · 28/09/2016 10:19

Surely there's a big chance of the holes ending up lopsided? Any small difference will be magnified as the child grows?

Mine are lopsided Sad now thats chavvy

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