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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having a newborn baby's ears pierced.

217 replies

metaphoricus · 27/09/2016 21:41

I know that millions of people do it.
But the baby has no choice. I would so like to know the explanations for the decision to put a hole through your baby's perfectly formed ears.
Why would you do that?
(I had a friend who did that, and I had to ring an ambulance because the 2 month old baby got a blood infection). Mum didn't want to call an ambulance because she was afraid of being told off for doing this to her child. She was bathing her 2 month old baby's ear in olive oil, and hoping for the best. Please let your child grow up, and then decide if they want a piercing. Babes in arms do not have a choice.

OP posts:
lostoldlogin2 · 28/09/2016 00:04

I just.....don't care. I don't particularly like the aesthetic but those who talk of it in hysterical terms as if its some kind of terrible abuse are getting a bit carried away I think.

Its only a pair of earrings, honestly. Not a big deal.

Original poster
metaphoricus · 28/09/2016 00:07

It's my culture to be shocked at inflicting unecessary physical pain on young babies who have no choice in the matter. That's my culture.
And I sincerely hope it will be passed down to future generations, and spread accordingly throughout a multitude of ethnicity, until no children are subjected to barbaric ritual. That's my hope. So shoot me.

OP posts:
lostoldlogin2 · 28/09/2016 00:08

hahahaha "barbaric ritual"

world's gone mad.

Strokethefurrywall · 28/09/2016 00:14

Well it kind of is.

It seems to me, as a Brit living in the Caribbean, that the general hatred of ear piercing on babies in the UK stemmed originally from the disgust that it looked common and "chavvy".

Babies here who have pierced ears are pierced at an age where most of them sleep through it and don't even cry. Yes I've seen it. Wouldn't do it myself no, but I can't get myself totally worked up about a cultural tradition that has very little bearing on a persons life as a whole. It's not chopping off bits of genitalia.

I see the point of babies not being able to give consent but comparing it to "mutilation" is fairly dramatic.

Original poster
metaphoricus · 28/09/2016 00:17

lostold Well that's what it is, really. Isn't it?

It may sound a bit extreme, I grant, but when push comes to shove,
that's what it is. It involves making holes and drawing blood. How much more painful does it need to be, to become barbaric?

Maybe I'm getting far too bogged down in this. I think it's a bloody awful thing to do to your baby and yes, to me, it seems barbaric. But definitions vary.

OP posts:
melibu84 · 28/09/2016 00:20

Not a newborn, maybe when they're a bit older. Mine were done when I was a baby and I turned out fine :P plus, I don't remember the pain and the holes never close up, even if I don't wear earrings for years.

My DP is happy we had a boy lol

avamiah · 28/09/2016 00:21

lostoldlogin2,
unless it is for medical reasons, why would anybody want their babys penis to be cut and skin removed.
Thats why the Worlds Mad.

DixieWishbone · 28/09/2016 00:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lostoldlogin2 · 28/09/2016 00:24

er......must have missed something.

Thought the thread was about ear piercing. I appreciate some are comparing it to / talking about circumcision - I'm talking about ear piercing. Hmm

Idliketobeabutterfly · 28/09/2016 00:27

To be honest I wouldn't do this because of the possibility of infection after and the pain that it would cause.

Original poster
metaphoricus · 28/09/2016 00:29

The holes don't always close up. I have friend who had her nose pierced and then changed her mind about how good it looked. The hole is still there and sometimes snot comes out of it. She's not happy, but that was HER choice. She is now faced with paying privately to close the hole up as the NHS won't entertain it. It was not a cultural thing, but an idiot thing.

OP posts:
PoppyBirdOnAWire · 28/09/2016 00:30

It's a vile thing to do.

PoppyBirdOnAWire · 28/09/2016 00:31

An idiot thing. Brilliant.

Alabastard · 28/09/2016 00:32

OP stop being such a GF on this thread. You don't have an AIBU. Go get a hobby instead of stirring the MN pot.

NinjaLeprechaun · 28/09/2016 00:34

"I do judge them though when I see them queuing up in Claire's Accessories."
I judge anybody who gets their ears pierced at Claire's, quite frankly.

My daughter got hers pierced when she was 11, and has recently (now 20) told me that she wishes I'd had it done when she was a baby. Which was certainly the norm in the dominant culture where we lived. One person's opinion.

Original poster
metaphoricus · 28/09/2016 00:40

I don't know what GF means. I have looked on the acronym list and it's not there. I want to know if I am unreasonable for hating earrings in babies. I am a newbie here and I only know the written rules, not the unwritten rules. Are you the boss of Mumsnet? I am thinking of making this my hobby. HTH

OP posts:
avamiah · 28/09/2016 00:45

Alabastard,
Great Comment, where have you been?
Yes i agree,
at least ask AIBU?

avamiah · 28/09/2016 00:47

I think GF means Girl Friend.
Am i correct Ala?

Florrieboo · 28/09/2016 00:54

I think GF means goady fucker?

Anyway I don't like earrings on babies, it just seems to be an extension of seeing babies as an accessory or a possession that we can do what we want with, or modify to our taste.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 28/09/2016 00:59

It does mean goady fucker.

Florrie, I completely agree that it makes babies seem like accessories, and possessions to be done with as adults see fit.

Although it probably doesn't (in most cases), cause any long term pain, although, having had several piercings myself, I can certainly say that there has been a level of discomfort during the healing process, I still think it's wrong. Babies can't consent to the procedure, and I believe it's wrong to physically modify the bodies of anyone but ourselves without that consent. IMO.

avamiah · 28/09/2016 01:00

Florrieboo,
This is Mumsnet .
We like Babies.

Original poster
metaphoricus · 28/09/2016 01:04

Ah Florrieboo Goady fucker seems to fit in with the context of Alabastard's post rather better than 'Girl Friend' I was just mulling that over and trying to figure it out.
As I had posted in AIBU, I didn't think it necessary to specify my intent.
Whatever. We live, and we learn. I have only been reading MN for a short time and I wondered how a first post would go down with the regulars, and now I know. Thanks for the welcome, folks.

OP posts:
Original poster
metaphoricus · 28/09/2016 01:09

And I wasn't trying to stir any pot. I don't know what's gone before. I only just landed here. If only there was a user manual.

OP posts:
avamiah · 28/09/2016 01:10

Goady Fucker,I've never heard that before,but i get it.haha
In other words, OP is drawing/ pulling us into the thread to add a post and she succeeded.

Duckafuck · 28/09/2016 01:17

Can't stand the thought of holes being forcibly punched in to a baby's earlobe for the sake of the parents vanity. It fucking hurts! I remember having one of mine redone aged 12 and it was not nice and burned and throbbed for ages after. At least wait until a child asks and can understand that it will hurt, it's just cruel otherwise.