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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having a newborn baby's ears pierced.

217 replies

metaphoricus · 27/09/2016 21:41

I know that millions of people do it.
But the baby has no choice. I would so like to know the explanations for the decision to put a hole through your baby's perfectly formed ears.
Why would you do that?
(I had a friend who did that, and I had to ring an ambulance because the 2 month old baby got a blood infection). Mum didn't want to call an ambulance because she was afraid of being told off for doing this to her child. She was bathing her 2 month old baby's ear in olive oil, and hoping for the best. Please let your child grow up, and then decide if they want a piercing. Babes in arms do not have a choice.

OP posts:
Champagneformyrealfriends · 27/09/2016 22:45

Called*

PickachuPurrlease · 27/09/2016 22:46

Please can we not have stickies banning "done threads" especially wheelie bin conversations Grin I love a good wheelie bin debate....

SandyY2K · 27/09/2016 22:49

A failure to understand other people's cultures can be quite harmful. Ear piercing is not torture FFS. If it, it would be illegal.

It's my culture to pierce ears at the baby stage for a girl.

We also circumcise baby boys as part of my culture.

It's my culture to braid the hair of little girls too. Sometimes from a year old.

If you don't understand culture and tradition, it can come over as being ignorant to make comments like not giving a rats ass.

Equalities and diversity clearly don't mean anything to some people.

Applejack29 · 27/09/2016 22:50

Bun-fight! Bun-fight!

SandyY2K · 27/09/2016 22:52

Does a vaccination leave a permanent mark on a child?

Yes. They can do.

The point is, it's the same pain for a moment . You'd think it was using a slegehammer.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 27/09/2016 22:55

So what health benefit is there to piercing a child?

PinkyOfPie · 27/09/2016 22:55

Some cultures have cruel practices, especially when it comes to babies, saying "it's in our culture" is frankly a lame "get out of jail" attempt at excusing unpleasant traditions. In some parts of the world FGM is part of culture and people don't see a problem with it. Does it make it ok?

DISCLAIMER: absolutely NOT comparing FGM to ear piercing, obvs, this post is purely to make the point that "it's culture you ignorant fools, you're causing harm" isn't gonna fly with some of us.

Original poster
metaphoricus · 27/09/2016 22:57

OK, so I've seen all the input, and read back about piercing and tattooing very young children.
And I've gained a bit of confidence in what I'm saying, from the replies that I've read. So I can come clean. I find it sickening and repulsive that people can do this to their babies. And to what end? What are the benefits of having a six month old with gold or silver earrings?
To please the in-laws? It wouldn't wash with me.
"OH look! I've given birth to a perfectly formed baby! Let's go out and punch some holes in its ears.or better still, get somebody to make a butterfly tattoo stain on its ankle, which it never chose to have and will be pissed off about for the rest of its life"

Rant over. But please people, think before you do it.

OP posts:
Dizzybintess · 27/09/2016 23:01

I have seen a few week old baby have theirs done in a salon. The scream it gave out was frankly one of the most haunting things I have ever heard. I would never do it.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 27/09/2016 23:01

DD is 6 months-There is no way anybody will put holes in her body while she such a tiny, perfect little baby. I do not need to alter her to fit societies "girl" requirements. FFS I shouldn't even have to say this. It's abhorrent that anyone would punch unnecessary holes in their child's skin.

blondieblondie · 27/09/2016 23:02

I hate it. When my niece got it done, I really hoped the nursery we're going to to my brother gf that it wasn't allowed. I see absolutely no point to it.

I got mine done when I was 3 and asked for it, and I think my mum should have said no.

BlancheBlue · 27/09/2016 23:02

sandy Ah so circumcision is indeed for "cultural" reasons then - at least you aren't claiming pseudo medical or "hygiene" reasons though.

Mutilation as a culture FFS

SandyY2K · 27/09/2016 23:03

With all the:

• health and safety legislation
• child protection laws
• Safeguarding awareness

In the UK today. ...
Do you really think it would be allowed and not reported by medical professionals, if it was deemed to be mutilation?

Because my health visitor and GP saw that my DDs ears were pierced and commented on how nice they looked with the little studs.

Have your opinions, but calling it mutilation is bloody ridiculous. Common sense clearly isn't that common after all.

Im

ontologicallychallenged · 27/09/2016 23:04

The 'it's part of my culture' argument is rubbish; if it's (morally) wrong to pierce a baby's ears for no significant reason then it's wrong, regardless of cultural norms.
Similarly, the vaccination analogy isn't too great. The 'risks' of not piercing a baby's ears are laughable when compared to the risks of not vaccinating.

SistersOfPercy · 27/09/2016 23:05

But, if you don't piece their ears what are you supposed to use to tie them to their cots with? Confused

SandyY2K · 27/09/2016 23:05

will be pissed off about for the rest of its life

Stop wearing the earrings and it closes up. So no. It's not for the rest of your life.

SandyY2K · 27/09/2016 23:07

if it's (morally) wrong to pierce a baby's ears for no significant reason then it's wrong, regardless of cultural norms.

Who's defining morality here?
Who said it was wrong?

Culture or otherwise, I don't consider it wrong.

Why is it okay at 3 years old and not 3 weeks old?

avamiah · 27/09/2016 23:08

Have i missed something, as it isn't a crime to get your babies ears pierced.
My daughter had her ears pierced at 6 months and didnt even cry as both ears were measured and then pierced at the same time by two qualified ladies in a reputable salon.
She is now 6 and loves to wear little earrings and nearly every girl in her class also has their ears pierced as well.

Iflyaway · 27/09/2016 23:12

I despise seeing babies with pierced ears

Better not go to Spain on holiday then. They are all done at birth. It's the culture.

Earlobes don't even have nerves anyway.

allsfairinlove · 27/09/2016 23:12
SandyY2K · 27/09/2016 23:15

I really hoped the nursery we're going to to my brother gf that it wasn't allowed.

Why would the Nursery do this?

The only reason I can think of would be health and safety. Otherwise they have no business commenting on it.

I once had my DDs school tell me they couldn't have their hair plaited in a certain way. I was in to see the HT and tell her I wasn't having it. A quick bit of educating her on my culture and afro hair type and she went red and apologised.

It's absolutely none of their business.

EssentialHummus · 27/09/2016 23:15

If you are a WOH trans M with a breast fed baby with his ears pierced to match his princess dress and wellies, and who likes to put a buggy in wheelchair spaces on trains but who never uses the disabled loo....are you a Goodie or a Baddie on MumsNet?

Ha! Clearly it depends on whether you feed him grapes as you go round Lidl, no?

ample · 27/09/2016 23:15

...my health visitor and GP saw that my DDs ears were pierced and commented on how nice they looked with the little studs

Hmm You must have missed their subtle hint at sarcasm then.

SandyY2K · 27/09/2016 23:16

Have i missed something, as it isn't a crime to get your babies ears pierced.

You'd think it was on MN.

MoonStar07 · 27/09/2016 23:17

Jeez it can wait. Earrings can wait. Unless there is an undiscovered market for clip on baby earrings?! Shoot...health and safety lol. Leave them little baby ear lobes alone. Poor mites