AIBU?????

[LoveMyRs]

To get angry at my DD best friend's mum for not inviting my DD to her birthday???
My DD was crying all the way home as it looks like her friend invited everyone but her.
They are good friends and i was talking to the mum on Monday to arrange for a playdate and she didn't mention nothing.
I am surprised and angry how dare she???
The bd is at home and the girl said that she doesn't know why she didn't invite my dd.
I would understand if they have a limit no they can have at home but my dd is closer than some of the girls who were invited .

Yabu

how dare she?

I get it's a bit shitty but no need to be angry. She won't get invited to every party and your response will affect her.

How old is she? Ask the mum outright. Might have just been an accident.

Are you absolutely sure she's not invited? Was the kid giving out the invites and got mixed up? Has it got lost or left at the friends house by mistake.

Give it s day or two, get your dd to ask the girl and see. Hold fire until you are sure it's not a mistake.

Maybe the mum doesn't like you. You sound unhinged.

Who's "the girl" that said she didn't know why your dd wasn't invited? Another friend of your dd? I'm a bit confused...

Oh I see. The bday girl

You sound quite intense.. chill out

How old is your DD? If over 7 I'd expect her to be able to talk to her friend about why? If under 7, it's likely they had a tiff the day the friend was picking her list about who was coming. Or maybe doesn't rate your DD as highly as the other way round.

Perhaps your daughter has upset this girl or her mum somehow?
YABU though even if there is no reason as such. They are under no obligation to invite your daughter.

This happened to my DD last year and I still can't understand why.
The birthday girl and her sister have been friends with my DD since before preschool. Now they go to School together and i share the car pool with their mum so we see them every day.

The party was at their house and they invited all the neighbour kids some older and younger.

A few after the party they talked about the party in the car with another girl who had gone and DD asked why she hadn't gone. I told her she hadn't been invited and the birthday girl said her mammy had said there were too many people so my DD couldn't come.

Thankfully DD didn't care much.

I still can't figure it out.

There's another thread going at the moment in AIBU, "Do you feel sad if your child is not invited to a party?"
It might help think rationally about this. There'll probably be lots of parties your daughter is not invited to in the future so it's best to teach her how to handle that.

I'm puzzled as to how MNetters think someone shouldn't take their child NOT being invited to their best friends party personally. Especially in this case where the mothers are on play date and speaking terms - who is brazen enough to make a statement in this way? The mind boggles

One of my DD's "best friends" was actually bullying her for a year. We did invite her to our last party but only because all the other girls in the friendship group were coming. My DD didn't want her there.

She was watched like a hawk by an adult for the whole party though.

Her parents have no idea. They think she's an angel.

I had a mum confront me about why her dd wasn't invited to my dd party....
I still avoid her now, crazy lady!

Taking it personally is one thing though, Mrs. Ranting like an extra from the Kyle show is something else, though. I'm guessing it wasn't an accident or a misunderstanding at all.

Apologies OP posted too soon.

I don't mean to suggest that your DD is at fault but perhaps something else might be going on. Can you have a quiet chat with the Mum?

Jesus, I wouldn't invite your DD either if you come as part of three package, tuna sound absolutely unhinged!

Dd1 is 9, she has parties from ages 4-8, I left her to do her own invites, you know, seeing as it's her party. If this girls doesn't want to invite your DD that's her choice and nothing to do with either you or her mother!

I suggest you take a massive step back and learn to chill the heck out!

tuna sound absolutely unhinged!

I wouldn't invite an unhinged tuna either

How old are they? Are you sure everyone else has been invited or is it just a few girls and your daughter thinks it's everyone?

I once made the mistake of inviting an unhinged tuna to one of my parties. It was a regrettable experience. Still, you live and you learn.

It is "unhinged" to be upset your child isn't invited to their best friend's party. Only on MN.

And as for the comment Maybe the mum doesn't like you. or I wouldn't invite your DD either. Are there really people out there who police their children's party invitations based on whether they like the invitee's parents? Now that is unhinged.

Does this little girl consider DD her best friend too, it wasn't clear from your post?

There must be a reason but it may not be obvious. One mum at primary school blanked my poor mum for months when I accidentally whacked her daughter (a good friend of mine) with a badminton racket! Never did get any more sporty. Friend and I were fine about it, the mum was just being a knob.

So you wouldn't honestly care if your child's supposed best friend invited all the other girls and left your child out? And your child was upset? Really you wouldn't give a rats ass? That would he unhinged.

Op of course not every child is invited to every party and its never good to vent at another mum over things like this but as I said before check up first it may well be a mistake.

Encourage your dd to beach out with other friends.

However sorry I am a laid back mum of 4 and a gran but I wouldn't be having a play date with a girl that didn't invite my dd to her party as obviously they arnt friends.

It's an old mumsnet chestnut to 'not be offended on your child's behalf' never in RL have I ever met a mum whose child's best friend didn't invite them to w party and the mum went 'oh well' never ever.