What do you secretly do, that would drive your partner mad if they knew?

[BelfastBloke]

I clear (her) hair from the plughole with her eyebrow tweezers.

Oh, and pee in our garden bushes. As does our son.

I scoff meat like it's going out of style (he's a pescetarian for health reasons and thinks I should be too & would be furious if he knew I'd lied).

I constantly leave doors and the car unlocked (mostly by accident!)

Once left the car key in the car all night and the keys hanging in the front door while I took the kids to swimming lessons.

I used to tell him but now I just "whoops!" to myself and keep quiet!

KFC. Probably twice a year.

Erm...I think I do plenty that drives dp mad, as does he, but nothing secretive (I don't think?)

When we first started living together, though, I discovered a big pile of bogies under the front edge of the sofa (I know!!!!!!!!!!!!) when I had a massive go at him, he was suitably chastened and stopped doing it but I actually dread to think what other disgusting things he gets up to without me seeing,

Lie on the sofa drinking tea and mumsnetting in my pjs while letting DS watch octonauts for AGES on my day off, instead of doing useful things and not letting him have more than an hour of screen time totally not what I'm doing right now.

I also pee in the shower

Haha! I once sent dh out to pee in the bush in our not-overlooked back garden as the bathroom was being retiled and I didn't want to disturb the workmen.

What do I do...? um... I reuse cotton buds in my ear to scratch them! That's two no-nos in one

Am I the only one who's more repulsed by the person who washes her mooncup in the dishwasher than the man who pees in his bushes? Grim.

I am not repulsed by either. The mooncup will be washed in super hot water in the dishwasher, it isn't going to get 'grossness' onto anything else. Weeing outside? Meh, I go in bushes if I am out hiking and miles from any toilets.

I pick my nose in private. And pick scabs. And sometimes wee in the shower.

Feed our dog crap like cheese strings and yoghurts 😂 obviously only when I'm eating them, I don't get a yogurts just to give to him.

Bite into the corner of the cheese if I fancy it to save getting a knife out. He'll never know as I do all the cooking.

Not only am I not repulsed by the poster who puts her Mooncup through the dishwasher, I'm going to start doing it too. :)

I'm more upset by the tweezers thing than the pee. My tweezers cost loads don't be using them for other purposes!

I use my own tweezers to get my own hair out of the plug hole and I've peed in a bowl before because the kids have hogged the only bathroom and I have a shit pelvic floor couldn't wait to use the loo.

I think I may be a man

When he is being a real arse and I just can't bear the sight of him, I secretly plan his funeral. Then I feel loads better. Once I forgot myself a bit and got actual quotes for his life insurance (wouldn't have mattered but he got phone calls trying to sell him policies for bloody months!).

Definitely pee on your compost heap not the bushes - it is the best compost accelerant.

I don't do anything secretly, what's the point? Or have I missed something?

Male pee keeps cats away? My DH regularly pees in the back garden, would IBU to ask him to pee by the front door where the neigbourhood cats like to do their business?

I buy Greggs meat slices when out on my own then steer him away from said items when we are both in town. In my defence he is on a diet.

He'd probably be maddened (though not properly mad) if he knew how many cookbooks I buy. I try to sneak at least every third one in...

I use his razor if it's nearer than mine when I'm in the shower.

I also invent sales when I show him something I've bought that I dont really need (meant to be saving).

Zippy

Leave the central heating on overnight when he's not there in winter.

....and woof back at dogs

Brilliant rhiaaaaaaaannon

I deliberately don't put in my holiday form to HR so don't get a specific day off so I don't have to drag me and small DC to the other side of the country for extremely boring, costly days with IL.

Continuing with the mooncup theme: I wash my cloth pads in the sink before putting them in the washing machine. Obviously I clean the sink thoroughly after use. He'd be horrified though. He doesn't do well with blood.

I don't feel bad though. I caught him flicking snot once. I gave him a bollocking and a pack of wet wipes to clean it up with.

Eat Nutella from the jar with a spoon. He knows I do it but gets weirded out watching.
My good eyebrow tweezers kept becoming useless and not lining up so I had to get new ones, I asked him eventually and it turned out he was using them to clean his shaver and stuffing them up. Grrr. So now we have his and hers tweezers.

I wash my Mooncup in the dishwasher, although I am grossed out by posters on here who put the bog brush and loo seat in.

Leave the central heating on overnight when he's not there in winter.

Reminds me of another: I turn the heating down, especially when he's not there. But he will insist that it is his fundamental human right to wander round the house bare foot and in shorts and t-shirt in January.

People put their loo brushes and seats in the dishwasher? Surely not?!

Unscrewing the loo seat would be a terrible faff to start with, not to mention the entire disgustingness of it.