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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Waiting to 6pm and no later for dinner together

377 replies

LovelyBath77 · 20/09/2016 18:57

My husband is self-employed. He gets a bit huffy as he likes us all to eat together, but I say we usually wait till 6pm is and go ahead with the children's dinner as they get a bit hungry by then. I usually have something with them.

AIBU?

OP posts:
maddiemookins16mum · 20/09/2016 20:33

Big mistake, get homework done earlier, it changes your whole evening.

Artandco · 20/09/2016 20:34

Throughout the summer also 6pm for us is time if not working to be out in the park, playing some sport, meet some friends for a glass of wine. Having to be home by 5pm to cook and finish dinner seems a waste of the day.

frenchfancy · 20/09/2016 20:36

Dinner is between 7 and 8 here and had been ever since the DCs were little. I love these thread as l love to see the differences in families and attitudes. Especially those that say the DCs would never last that late. They would, it is all a matter of what you are used to. My 9 yr old DD would find it very strange indeed if I gave her dinner at 5:30pm.

VelvetSpoon · 20/09/2016 20:36

Isn't it more to do with working ft than geography? I work ft, I've never got home before 6pm, certainly not in the days when I had to collect DC from their childminder, so dinner was always 7 or later. Even now, the earliest we'd sit down to dinner would be 6.30.

I don't know anyone who works Ft and is home before 6.

As a child, I used to have dinner at 6.30 when my dad got home (he worked 8-6) and go to bed at 7.30-8.

6pm seems very early to me.

Justjoseph · 20/09/2016 20:38

4.30-5.00 here. Children are starving after school.

We eat without DH.

KickAssAngel · 20/09/2016 20:39

I've only ever given DD an hour after school for downtime before homework. She's too tired & unfocused later in the evening. Also, if something takes longer than expected she then doesn't end up being late to bed.

I'd do: snack/relax until about 4.30 or 5
Homework
Dinner
Freetime.

UNLESS they have activities that mean you don't get in until 5.

They're old enough to read/self entertain after dinner. We'd probably watch TV together, then DD goes to bed and reads for a bit. If DH is late home, he'll eat and watch TV with us.

Justjoseph · 20/09/2016 20:40

And for the PP, we do sit and discuss our day, swop antidotes. I like it, we ate in silence as children.

ChocChocPorridge · 20/09/2016 20:42

My kids (3 and 6) would be hideous if I didn't get them dinner by 5 (even with post-school snackage) - and they are both in bed by 7:30-8 or they're awful the next day (up 6:30-7 - the time they go to bed doesn't change this)

I make a call on whether I think DP is going to be home in time - the kids like me to eat with them just as much as DP does, so I'm piggy in the middle (sometimes I just eat two, smaller dinners to appease both!).

newmumwithquestions · 20/09/2016 20:43

7 and 11? Don't see why they can't eat later - it's not like they need to be in bed at 7:30.

Orda1 · 20/09/2016 20:47

Don't see why velvet, depends how far you commute.

idontlikealdi · 20/09/2016 20:49

DTs are in yr 1. They eat around 530. I get in from work about 715 and do stories / bed on my office days. DH and I eat after that - around 8.

On my work from home days we could eat together as DH is home by around 530 but I don't like to eat that early.

Friday / Saturday we eat together later and the kids don't expire with hunger! Sunday we have a main meal at lunch or early evening so they can get into bed earlyish on Sunday night.

LineyReborn · 20/09/2016 20:50

Children need to eat between school lunch at 12 and supper.

DinosaursRoar · 20/09/2016 20:52

It depends if he's happy to only eat later if you plan for it, rather than expect them to just wait - I find it bizzare that primary aged can be expected to go from 12noon from school lunchtime to 7/8pm with no food - if they have an afternoon tea around 3:30/4 when they get in, then it's possible. But I'd struggle to go for 8 hours without something to eat, particularly if they've only had a packed lunch.

I do know parents at DCs school who arrive with sandwiches and a full pack up who happily say their DCs last until 8pm for dinner, which is really a supper as they've basically had a meal at 3:30. Would this be an option for you as they get older? At least for some evenings.

My DCs are younger, but when DH isn't going to be in for dinner with the DCs, I don't make him eat alone (unless he's going out for drinks so isn't going to be home until say 10pm then he's on his own!), we eat together once the DCs are asleep. These are the nights we eat food that's full of spice, chilli and salt... (just finished off a very hot Thai red curry)

QforCucumber · 20/09/2016 20:53

Dp and I both work ft, but neither has more than 20 minute commute. We both finish at 4 but start at 7:30. Evening meal is between 5:30/6 usually depending on plans.
Then baby gets bedtime routine and we have some evening time to ourselves between 7-9 asleep by 10 usually since up at 5:30.

Clayhead · 20/09/2016 20:55

I'm northern, don't work full time but have my tea between 7:30 and 8:30 so this thread has left me feeling confused Grin.

My dc do their homework before tea, we tend to sit at the table for ages and relax after the meal.

Horses for courses I guess.

Oysterbabe · 20/09/2016 20:56

I feed DD (8 months) at 6 and by 7 she's yawning her head off and ready for bed. I eat later with DH. Hoping to shift her dinner back when she gets older so we can eat together. Dinner at 6 is just too early for us.

SanityClause · 20/09/2016 20:57

We used to eat at between 6 and 6:30 when the DC were little.

Now it's around 7, or a bit after. On the weekend, it might even be a little later.

We have always eaten together as a family, if we can. We have never had "nursery tea", except when the DC had friends over to play.

MewlingQuim · 20/09/2016 20:58

Pre children DH and I ate about 7.30-8.00.

Now we eat by 6pm because DD will lose the plot if she eats later and her bedtime is usually 7pm.

DH does most of the cooking so shifted his working day earlier so he could be home by 5ish, only on really bad days does he get home after 5.30.

We also both changed jobs to shorten our commutes before DD was born, before that we wouldn't have been able to get home before 6.30.

ILoveLouLou · 20/09/2016 21:09

At 7 and 11 I think YABU.

It's rubbish eating dinner alone and soon they'll be going to friends' houses for dinner etc.

NavyandWhite · 20/09/2016 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Starlight234 · 20/09/2016 21:17

I am a CMinder.. Any children here between 5 and 6 are fed tea.

My DS had a sandwich after school as we had to go out to an appointment at 5 . then tea when he got home at 6.30 ...Seemed like I was sending him to bed on a full tummy..Not ideal.

DinosaursRoar · 20/09/2016 21:20

I don't understand why you don't eat with your DH though. If you can give the DCs a small meal like a sandwich as soon as they are home, then they should be able to have their eating time pushed back.

Afternoon tea exists for this very reason! sandwiches, bit of cake, piece of fruit then family dinner (give them a bit less) at 8. Bed by 9.

limitedperiodonly · 20/09/2016 21:24

I'm in London and split time between home and office. When I work in an office, I walk home at 6pm and am at home about 30 minutes later. That's still earlier than my husband who got home at 8pm.

I'm only sharing that fascinating nugget of my life because I'm waiting for my dinner to cook. ETA has been revised and is now about 10pm because I was faffing.

witsender · 20/09/2016 21:31

We generally eat supper any time between 5 and 7...depending on what we are having and what everyone is up to. We've always eaten together, as bar a short stint neither of us have ever had long days/commutes.

Pagwatch · 20/09/2016 21:33

Kids home at 4/5
Something to eat if they are starving - toast/fruit/flapjack/whatever - tv/games/playing etc
6.00 homework
7/7.30 supper with family.
(Still early but not ridiculously)

I couldn't eat at 6.00 every night.