Waiting to 6pm and no later for dinner together

[LovelyBath77]

My husband is self-employed. He gets a bit huffy as he likes us all to eat together, but I say we usually wait till 6pm is and go ahead with the children's dinner as they get a bit hungry by then. I usually have something with them.

AIBU?

DC (9) has dinner at 5pm. We are up at 6am, breakfast at 6:30, snack about 10am, lunch at noon so 5 hours between lunch and dinner is a long time for a child without a snack. Just before bed at 7pm DC will have a piece of toast and milk along with meds.

My meals are much later 9:30ish for breakfast, 2pm ish for lunch, 7:30ish for dinner. I don't snack. This is due to a health issue and other options lead to flare ups :(

Its frustrating because we often don't eat together but If we did one of us would be hungry/irritable/in pain and the other wouldn't.

I don't want dinner at 6pm even though I don't have an office job now. Waste of good daylight to be stuck in the kitchen!

and yes, I do know about batch cooking.

Mine eat 5-6. Non of us could last past 6. Bedtime routine starts at 6, lights off 7, adult time 7.30 onwards

my parents were from mining families, we had "tea" and ate at 6.

we eat at 6-6:30 generally unless we are late back from an activity. if hubby isn't in by then his goes back in the oven (unless I knew he was going to be late when I started cooking)

I always thought children were supposed to eat a few hours before bedtime. mine go to bed 8:30-9:00ish. they have a snack straight after school and one of them often has toast before bed. they couldn't wait any later for their dinner/tea, like someone else said, they would eat each other.

I think 6pm is about normal for families with primary school aged kids. We tend to sit down for tea between 6-6.30 with kids in bed between 7,30-8. It does seem a little early to have as a "cut off" every day, though - would making it 6.15 mean DP made it home in time more often?

YANBU, if you are hungry then eat with the children. 6pm isn't early, it's a normal time for all 'classes' and good for your digestive system! I feed children at 5!!! then have tea with dh when he gets home by 6.30, but that works for us.

We do half and half in our house. Some nights I'll eat with DD at 5pm and DH can have a reheat. Other nights I make DD something at 5pm and I make something for DH and I when she's in bed. DH doesn't want to eat on his own every night but it is important that DD eats meals with a parent too (she's 2 so things like watching and copying cutting etc.). Half and half works for us. At the weekend we all have dinner together at 5pm.

We've always eaten between 7-8pm even when the DT's were little as we both work and DT's were at nursery until 6.30pm. Seemed to work ok for us and it meant we got to eat together.

DH (in the north I might add) turns up anytime between 6:15-8pm on a good night (a bad night might be 2am)

I like to feed DD as early as possible, much easier to get her to bed if she feels like she's had free time playing afterwards.

My DH is self-employed too. If I always waited for him, there would be nights when I did not eat at all. We do not have any DC though, so there is only me to feed if he decides to work late.

For your DH to expect you and your DC to wait for him is not particularly reasonable.

Could you construct some sort of compromise? For example, I know of families where they all have Proper Breakfast together every day, in part because evenings are haphazard. Or you could, for example, agree that he will come home promptly on certain days of the week, and then be more flexible on other days, and try to have family meals on the weekend if his work allows that, something like that. Does he cook? He could take responsibility for Wednesday evenings, or Sunday lunches, or something like that, if that would work for all of you.

Waiting for DH to come home, with children who are hungry, does not sound fun for anyone, and it is not really reasonable for him to expect you to just put up with that.

Don't know about class but it's definitely a hospital thing. They feed you dinner at about 6pm. Sometimes about 5.30pm. But then there's bugger all to do after visiting ends and they do wake you up at about 5am, if you've managed to get any sleep at all.

When I was last in, the food was lovely. Filling in my menu card and waiting for my meals were the twin highlights of my day. I like school dinners and curry and stew-type things.

It was the Royal London Hospital, Whitechapel. I got a lovely quiet private room, even though I was NHS, with its own bathroom when I got a bit better and was moved from the ward. The only downside was I got lonely and I was worried I'd miss out on the tea trolley in the afternoons so I used to wander back to my old ward and sit on someone's bed. I must see if they're on TripAdvisor. They're quite good at medical treatment as well .

Depends on your children I guess.

We eat around 7:15pm most nights. DH gets in from work around 7pm, and I try to make sure something is ready for around then. I get in earliest so I tend to cook, and DH clears away.

DD is 14y now so its no issue anyway, but even when smaller she ate with us. Certainly from around 6/7 years old - she would just have a small snack when she first got home from school to keep her going. She'd eat around 7pm, and be in bed before 8pm. Nw bedtime is later and more flexible anyway, and she gets homework done before we eat, after school.

Means no one has to eat alone, as its not nice to have to do so - whether it was/is DD or DH.

Ah yes, but they would have had a nursery tea, surely?

My DC always had a 'light tea' in childcare. They didn't go from 12 noon till night time without food.

We like to eat together too....but as my DH isn't often home before 7.30, it's something we save for the weekends. It's also then something the DCs look forward to, if that makes sense? I feed mine between 6-6.30 (sometimes slips a bit) and we eat about 8.30-9.

the absolute latest we eat is 6.30, as the kids go to bed by 8pm, but i prefer them to have eaten by 6.

If DH has worked over, i will feed the kids and wait to eat with him.

Before children, we always ate later, about 8. Since having DC, we eat all together. I aim for 6 but sometimes it gets closer to half past.

And yes, in the north we do sometimes work long hours and have long commutes. It's not an exclusive southern thing.

6 is afternoon, not dinnertime to me. We seem to live by continental rules round here. Mine are nearly grown up and have no issues, so am assuming I didn't damage them.

me and the kids eat at 5pm then have a pudding with dad if he gets in later whilst he eats his tea. we also do this visa versa when I'm on a late

We have tea at 7ish. I'd like it to be earlier so we can do other stuff in the evening but it works out as 7.
Snacks after school at 4 to see everyone through.
Kids are 15, 13 and 9 and it's always been that time.

My daughters are all grown up and I work but dinner is still around six and I consider seven a late dinner. Any later than six ish doesn't leave much evening by tbe time clearing up is done and dog is walked. I hate going to bed with that full fee!ing so really don't like going out to dinner unless stayjng up uber late. Work lunch is around twelve thirty so I am ravenous by six usually. I am quite surprised that some posters don't put smallish sprogs to bed until nineish as I would have hated to have hardly any adult time in the evening.

Sorry for late reply was helping with bath time and supper (which we usually have around 8pm, only since having the children)

It's interesting you mention the North / South thing, as I'm from the North and him from the South. I find it late after 6ish...

We may need to compromise as I know it's partly as the roads and traffic is bad around 5-6pm, or I could eat later with him. It is a bit lonely eating alone.

Blimey, DD goes to granny's after school (I am sooo lucky), has toast or cake, or crumpets etc with a drink. I collect her at 5.45pm. Dinner/tea/ supper is at 7pm on the dot mostly (DP gets in at twenty to seven). But she's 12 now and has an hour after the meal to relax, shower (at a push), read etc. When she was younger, under 8, she needed fed by 6pm or 6.30 at the latest.

It gets more tricky eating after the children though as then they are kind of milling around as we don't allow screen time after dinner. I guess they could read or go on their kindles- but them we have homework for the eldest (sorry should have said they are 7 and 11). Homework is generally done between 6.30 and 8pm as they need a break after school I think.

I don't think eating round a dinner table as a family, swapping anecdotes about your day, is essential or even true for most people. It can be nice, but it can also be inconvenient or hellish. It isn't a vital component to a well-balanced and secure upbringing.

When I was growing up, we only ever did it on Christmas Day. Somehow I have managed to maintain a relationship with my blood relatives.