Waiting to 6pm and no later for dinner together

[LovelyBath77]

My husband is self-employed. He gets a bit huffy as he likes us all to eat together, but I say we usually wait till 6pm is and go ahead with the children's dinner as they get a bit hungry by then. I usually have something with them.

AIBU?

have this in my head now

dp just in from work "oh whats wrong Gah.....your crying, are the kids ok? is it your mum? have you had your results back?"
me inbetween sobs "no.....its just......i ate tea at 6pm.....it wasnt even a light tea......i had pasta and garlic bread so i double carbed aswell......"
dp ""

6pm is quite late enough. Even if you work it's doable if you're organised

The very earliest I can get home is 6.30pm, so no it's not. I work typical full time office hours in my city, with an average commute.

My daughter has always had a snack and then eaten with us around 7pm. It seems unreasonable to ask any working person to be back by six as most jobs don't finish until 5.30. I used to get home at 6.30pm at the earliest when I worked in an office. Could you compromise to then and give the kids a small snack at around four?

How can 6pm be doable if you work FULL TIME, offices close at 5.30 mostly, and the average commute is 40 minutes in the SE for example (and dinner still needs cooked). Some people have no idea. I know nobody who eats at or before 6pm unless they are a) retired, b) a SAHP, c) works part time or finishes at or around 4.30pm.....

Maddie yes, some people work FULL TIME as you put it and finish at 4.00 or 4.30. Our office is busy by 8am and doesn't have a huge culture of overtime. And some people have a 20min commute, even in the SE.

Personally we rarely eat with the DC. DH is rarely back before 7pm except when he's on after school club pick up, and on those nights I work late. But I have the imagination to see that other people can do it.

Many people work full time and manage to have dinner by 6pm it depends what hours you work. Not everyone works a standard 9-5.

As with Linpin - DH works office hours, in IT, but his office operates on core hours, so he beats the horrendous A19 traffic by working 8-4:30. A good commute is all of 20 minutes. If he hits the traffic at the wrong time, or after one of many snarl ups, make than an hour. Average journey time about 35 minutes.

So yes, 6pm is perfectly achievable for us all, 99% of the time but it means I feel like the lazy one for sleeping in until 7am!

GahBuggerit

I have zero idea of what time any "people I know" eat their evening meal at. How do you all know this?

Regardless of the fact that some full-time workers finish at 4 or 4.30, the majority finish later. Considering that many will also have a fairly long commute it is ridiculous to state that 6 p.m. is "doable if you work and are organised."

"How can 6pm be doable if you work FULL TIME, offices close at 5.30 mostly"

Quite a few close at 5. A lot have flexi time.

"the average commute is 40 minutes in the SE for example"

Not everyone lives in the SE.

You don't have to live in the SE to experience a long commute. Many full-time workers finish after 5 p.m. so eating at 6 p.m. would be fairly impossible.

"You don't have to live in the SE to experience a long commute.hmm"

No, but in some areas having a long commute is more of a choice as there is housing available closer to work. I can understand that in London, for example, there may not be affordable housing close to where someone works, but where I live it's just people's choice to have a bigger house in a smaller town than they one they're working in. They could choose to live closer to work in many cases.

They could choose to live closer to work in many cases

And what about when different people in the household work in different places?

Up North it is very, very normal for one half of a couple to work in one city and their partner to work elsewhere.
For example, DH spent a while working in Sheffield, and then Leeds, while I was in Manchester.
I spent a while working in Liverpool, then Leeds, then Manchester....we couldn't have moved every time.

Where I live now, I have close friends who work in Leeds, Manchester, Sheffield, Liverpool, Bradford, Nottingham, even Leicester. It's not as easy as "moving closer to work" when you and your partner are in the sort of jobs that could see you working all over the place.

Sometimes it seems like many MNetters think people "up north" don't have the sort of professional jobs with long commutes that people do in London. If you don't believe me, look at the m62 travel updates in a morning, or the m1 between Leeds and Sheffield. These aren't people out for a fun morning drive.

Dinner is 5/5:30 here and we all eat together.
Partner works a 30 min commute away and has flexi so I always home by 5. Kids are 4 and 5, and are pair of whingy moaners without dinner.
We used to eat separately but too much hassle prepping 2 lots. Once kids are in bed at 7, we have the evening.

"
And what about when different people in the household work in different places?"

It makes sense for those people to live in between both workplaces. Still, it's not the case for everyone. Lots of people in my area work in the city (both partners), but choose to live in a little village miles away so they can have a bigger garden or something.
In any case, I never said that people HAVE to live closer to work. I was only pointing out that in many areas, it is possible.

No, but in some areas having a long commute is more of a choice as there is housing available closer to work. I can understand that in London, for example, there may not be affordable housing close to where someone works, but where I live it's just people's choice to have a bigger house in a smaller town than they one they're working in. They could choose to live closer to work in many cases.

When two people in the family work they can't necessarily get jobs in the same places. I personally couldn't live closer as DH and I both work in different cities and we live in between. When choosing where to live and work, other factors such as good jobs and schools are a little bit more important whether or not you can eat at 6 p.m., don't your think?

Lol at chosing to live in a shitty area so you can have dinner at 5.30.
Totally makes sense.

Who mentioned a shitty area Pagwatch?

No, sure. People avoid living near where they work and put up with the commute because the houses and schools there are really great but they just fucking love being on the train/bus.

This thread is INSANE

People arguing about others dinner/tea times.

mixety Fri 23-Sep-16 19:32:29
6pm is quite late enough. Even if you work it's doable if you're organised

---

DH would have to finish work earlier. He currently works until about 6:45pm and is home around 7pm or just after. If he left before 6 his journey home would double due to traffic.

More importantly he would struggle to have got to his position finishing at 5pm or even 5:30pm. Longer hours are expected, and tbh many colleagues work longer. The only alternative would be going in to work earlier - but that would mean making changes there too - we are already up before 7, and out the house within the hour.

Not every full time worker is able to be home for 6pm - not without making big compromises on their job itself.

We don't eat together, that's our solution, works for us.

Children, age 8, 9 and 11, eat about 5pm and go to bed at 8pm.
We eat after they've gone to bed.

It's also not unusual for people to have a job in one town, then get another in a different town. DH has had 2 jobs, now, where his company have relocated. One of them twice. The second did make his commute hellish, so he stuck it out for a year, working from home, one day a week until he was headhunted by another company for his very particular experience, including the particular skills he gained on the project which had him shuffled off to an industrial estate in the back of beyond. And, yes, this professional stuff with fairly niche roles is all up North.

I live in London. My commute to my place of work (also in London) is 1.5 hours. It used to be less, but then my place of work moved to somewhere less central. I start work at 8am and finish at 5pm, get back home at 6.30. DH works till midnight, gets home at about 1am. The idea of eating as a family at 6pm is clearly a nonstarter.