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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed with DS teacher

111 replies

Mrsglitterfairy · 19/09/2016 19:35

DS2 is 5 and last Friday, after his first week in year 1, he won the achievement award from his teacher. However, he was not very well behaved on Friday afternoon and after numerous warnings his teacher took his award off him.. Now I understand he shouldn't get a reward if he has been not listening and messing, and am all for her taking it off him, but she ripped it up. He came out of school so upset that she had ripped up his certificate and threw it in the bin in front of everyone. AIBU for being annoyed that she did that? I just feel that it was a bit harsh for a 5 year old

OP posts:

StringyPotatoes · 20/09/2016 23:50

I very clearly remember being 7 and I LOVED my teacher. She was a wonderful woman. But on this particular day she had clearly had enough.

My "group" had decided to go to the craft corner. I worked really hard drawing a goodbye card for my cousin who had been living with us but was soon to move out. At home time my teacher looked through the tray of completed artwork and gave my group a dressing down saying how it was all rubbish and we'd wasted the resources and that we wouldn't be allowed to take it home. I have no doubt that some of the group did waste paper etc but I hadn't and tried to explain. It was shut down. I was gutted and remember apologising to my cousin for not having a card.

It's humiliating to have something that you value destroyed and it hurts and it's upsetting. I learned nothing from that except that teachers aren't always smiley and happy.
My teacher was truly a wonderful woman and even at the time I knew no-one would believe me. I would go in OP and calmly chat to her, OP. Explain that your son was hurt by it and see if she can reinstate his award. Apologies are something best learned through example!

Optimist3 · 21/09/2016 08:31

ilove - why on earth is everyone banging on about matching in? I don't know any parents in real life that have done that.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 21/09/2016 08:47

This sort of discipline is humiliating and unkind. Far from good practice. It won't get the best out of the pupil

Yes,quite.

This sort of discipline belongs back in the 70/80's.

ilovesooty · 21/09/2016 08:49

Optimist - those are the words Willow used early in the thread.

GoblinLittleOwl · 21/09/2016 08:50

I would be willing to bet that your child will now think hard about misbehaving again, which was the object of the exercise.
Leave it alone.

t4nut · 21/09/2016 09:01

ilove - why on earth is everyone banging on about matching in? I don't know any parents in real life that have done that.

Because the standard response from the lunatics on this forum is to march in and complain to the head and/or call the police for everything.

This sort of discipline belongs back in the 70/80's.

If it happened. which we have no evidence of. What're you betting what the teacher said was along the lines of 'oh dear little johnny, if you can't sit and behave nicely we might have to tear up this good boy certificate and put it in the bin'

Perhaps the teacher should call social services when little johnny comes in and complains that mummy wouldn't let him watch cbbc because he was naughty last night - or more likely that mummy was going to throw the TV in the bin.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 21/09/2016 09:13

It's odd how people make excuses for this sort of behaviour from grown adults who should be setting an example. As a teacher earlier said it's not best practice and not the best way to get good results from a child.

Damn right there should be considered consequences for bad behaviour but not taking away what hed achieved for good behaviour.

I would CALMLY have a word and find out exactly what happened and take it from there.

ilovesooty · 21/09/2016 10:09

Dame so would I. Some of the more extreme reactions upthread should not be the default position.

Original poster

Mrsglitterfairy · 21/09/2016 17:02

Just so you all know, I was never going to go steaming in and/or demanding to see the head. His teacher is a lovely lady who previously taught an after school club with DS1 so would have had a perfectly reasonable conversation with her. As it happens, she wasn't in today when I picked DS up so haven't had chance. As DS hasn't mentioned it since, I think I will leave it as it is, it clearly hasn't scarred him. Hopefully it will have been a one off and (if she did rip it up) she had just had enough..

OP posts:

Willow2016 · 21/09/2016 19:34

ilovesooty

Its a figure of speech, I didnt mean to march in like a bloody soldier guns blazing! I meant get up to the school to find out. But I would definately be asking what happened and IF it was true what the head was going to do about it and what they were going to do to ensure it didnt happen again.

Willow2016 · 21/09/2016 19:36

Many people have jumped to the conclusion and practically stating it as a fact that it CANT be true and denegrating anyone who has given her son the benefit of the doubt and suggested it COULD be true. Funny how they are all on their high horse cos they KNOW they are RIGHT and eveyone else who disagrees is a complete idiot who would believe anything, yet they dont know anymore that the rest of us who are pointing out the possibility that it could have happened.

Until op asks at school then NOBODY knows what happened for sure.

Hopefully it was just a misunderstanding but OP is right to find out the truth.

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