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AIBU?

To be annoyed with DS teacher

111 replies

Mrsglitterfairy · 19/09/2016 19:35

DS2 is 5 and last Friday, after his first week in year 1, he won the achievement award from his teacher. However, he was not very well behaved on Friday afternoon and after numerous warnings his teacher took his award off him.. Now I understand he shouldn't get a reward if he has been not listening and messing, and am all for her taking it off him, but she ripped it up. He came out of school so upset that she had ripped up his certificate and threw it in the bin in front of everyone. AIBU for being annoyed that she did that? I just feel that it was a bit harsh for a 5 year old

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2kids2dogsnosense · 19/09/2016 20:48

Serves the little bugger right! He'll not do it again.

Bertieboo1 · 19/09/2016 20:52

Agree that what kind of example is this setting the kids??

Mrsglitterfairy · 19/09/2016 20:54

She told me that she had given him the award but then had to take it off him on account of his behaviour in the afternoon. I think he had been up & down on the carpet, not really listening to her and being a chatterbox. I was agreeing with her to take it off him, but just seems a little harsh to rip it. But I get what some of you are saying, he could be exaggerating it a little as he was upset. I'll ask to have a word with her when I pick him up on Wednesday.

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CalleighDoodle · 19/09/2016 20:56

So gouve already spoke to the teacher and she told you she took the award off him for being persistently disruptive. What is it you want to know now? Is it that it was taken off him? Or that it was ripped up so gone completely? Or that it was in front of the people he was disrupting?

LugsTheDog · 19/09/2016 21:04

I'd be very surprised if that was in line with the school's behaviour policy...

Discipline at our infant school is very much more positive than this.

LittleBeautyBelle · 19/09/2016 21:05

Terrible. First of all, you don't give an award certificate to a child and then take it back. That is ridiculous. Secondly, to rip up the certificate and in front of the whole class is unprofessional and bordering on cruel.

I would ask the teacher what happened. If your son gave you the accurate details, then I don't think you'd be amiss in telling her it was not right what she did.

user1473454752 · 19/09/2016 21:07

I wonder exactly how bad your child was that day???? instead of blaming the teacher why not think about your childs behaviour?????

converseandjeans · 19/09/2016 21:09

I looked at this thinking it would be another teacher bashing thread - but I agree this is a nasty thing to do. I would speak to her in person first to get to the bottom of what happened and explain how upset he was. I don't think it warrants a complaint to the head tho.

LittleBeautyBelle · 19/09/2016 21:09

She should redo the certificate and give it back to him. That is just not the thing, to give the award and then take it back. There was a better way to discipline him when he misbehaved in the afternoon, not take his award away that he earned for previous good behavior. It wasn't for future behavior. The teacher is absolutely wrong in my opinion. I would tell her to give the certificate back because your son needs to know that teachers are wrong sometimes too and can admit it. She misbehaved herself haha!

QueenLizIII · 19/09/2016 21:10

This was standard behaviour in the 80s. When I was talking too much at 8years old my teacher took my work sheet off me, tore it up in front of the class and made me start again.

When I was 6, I couldnt eat my christmas dinner at school. It was gross and I dont like turkey anyway and wouldnt eat it at home. Another child didnt eat theirs either. We were screamed at infront of the class and told we ought to be shot for not eating it.

CatNip2 · 19/09/2016 21:10

Oh dear, i get so sad when I read post after post after post of people slagging off teachers, they are human, I got so angry with my DD for kicking a ball at the fence when I told him not to 10000 times I stabbed it and burst it. Not my proudest moment but I am human.

You know what? He never did it again.

Tell your son why it happened, who was responsible for the action and move on. YABU.

RunningLulu · 19/09/2016 21:12

I would presume if it was ripped up then your son might have said or done something terrible, not that the teacher was wrong. Pre-school teachers usually have the patiences of saints! It's probably a good idea to ask her about it.

CatNip2 · 19/09/2016 21:12

Littlebeautybelle? Are you nuts? Yes of course reward him for his subsequent bad behaviour and undermine the teacher. Way to go girl!

LugsTheDog · 19/09/2016 21:20

He's going to have to sit there every Friday for the rest of the year watching other children get their certificates, remembering he was so bad that his was torn up.

I agree he might never do it again but kids need to be forgiven and not have their noses rubbed in their misdemeanors every week.

bumsexatthebingo · 19/09/2016 21:23

If the reward was ripped up it would be a really unprofessional way to behave and I would be making my displeasure known. I agree you need to find out what actually happened though. Hopefully it's something more like the award was removed and put on her desk and she binned it at the end of the day.
I don't particularly agree with the award being removed if he had already earned it. But I wouldn't get my knickers in too much of a twist over that (one of my dc had an attendance certificate taken away for fidgeting on the carpet which I thought was a bit bizarre).

bamboobeanbags · 19/09/2016 21:24

I expect he will be awarded another one in a few week's time...and I bet he will behave very well that Friday afternoon!

greenfolder · 19/09/2016 21:26

I disagree with it being taken off him. It's not a knighthood is it? If you have behaved and got a reward why was it taken away?

Pikawhoo · 19/09/2016 21:27

A number of my primary school teachers were definitely bullies, now I think back on it as a grown up.

I think there's something about teaching that sometimes attracts the unhinged who love power.

Yes, this was totally unreasonable. I'd complain to the school so they're aware.

Mrsglitterfairy · 19/09/2016 21:45

I agreed with her when she told me she had taken it off him, I just feel that ripping it up (if DS's account is fully true) was a bit harsh.
I'm usually the first to stick up for teachers, they have a lot to deal with daily and I've never had any issue with the way any have treated my boys in the past (DS1 is in year 4).
He is a very 'lively character' shall we say and does he carried away with himself, especially when with his best friend.. However, this is not down to having a late night or lack of discipline at home, it's just his character and he's 5!

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t4nut · 19/09/2016 21:55

No no no no no.

Calm down, step back and bite your tongue. Classroom discipline is not your remit. Do not go all helicopter mode. Big mistake.

Celticlassie · 19/09/2016 22:14

You don't take away a reward when it's been given. You tell him that he'll not get another one but the reward was given on the basis of behaviour already exhibited, not on future behaviour. That's really poor behaviour management.

user1473454752 · 19/09/2016 22:17

Mrsglitterfairy, maybe your child was just an utter brat?????

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Willow2016 · 19/09/2016 22:21

He is in his first week at school, just settling in and learning the rules not some 6 foot senior who was arsing about and knows better!

The reward was for achieving something he was learning during the week not for behaviour later in the week. Why bother trying to achieve anything if its going to be ripped up on the whim of the teacher?

If she actually did rip it up in front of everybody then I would complain, humiliating a child is not acceptable discipline. How can she teach the kids to control themselves if she cant?

Its not slagging off all teachers, its disagreeing with unacceptable methods of punishment for a 5 year old!

Willow2016 · 19/09/2016 22:27

User whatever
If your only contribution is to slag off a 5yr old maybe you had your achievements ripped up too many times as a child?

He was not sitting still at the end of the last day of a long tiring week for a 5 yr old, not setting fire to the school!

bumsexatthebingo · 19/09/2016 22:27

Even if the child was being an utter brat what is the teacher going to achieve by retaliating with brattish behaviour of their own? I'm sure if a child ripped up something special that belonged to a friend because they had upset them they would be in trouble yet the teacher is modelling that behaviour!
I am the most laid back parent going and it would take a lot for me to go up to the school but ripping up a 5yos certificate is spiteful and shows a complete lack of the ability to control anger.

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