To be annoyed with DS teacher

[Mrsglitterfairy]

DS2 is 5 and last Friday, after his first week in year 1, he won the achievement award from his teacher. However, he was not very well behaved on Friday afternoon and after numerous warnings his teacher took his award off him.. Now I understand he shouldn't get a reward if he has been not listening and messing, and am all for her taking it off him, but she ripped it up. He came out of school so upset that she had ripped up his certificate and threw it in the bin in front of everyone. AIBU for being annoyed that she did that? I just feel that it was a bit harsh for a 5 year old

[Willow2016]

Many people have jumped to the conclusion and practically stating it as a fact that it CANT be true and denegrating anyone who has given her son the benefit of the doubt and suggested it COULD be true. Funny how they are all on their high horse cos they KNOW they are RIGHT and eveyone else who disagrees is a complete idiot who would believe anything, yet they dont know anymore that the rest of us who are pointing out the possibility that it could have happened.

Until op asks at school then NOBODY knows what happened for sure.

Hopefully it was just a misunderstanding but OP is right to find out the truth.

[Willow2016]

ilovesooty

Its a figure of speech, I didnt mean to march in like a bloody soldier guns blazing! I meant get up to the school to find out. But I would definately be asking what happened and IF it was true what the head was going to do about it and what they were going to do to ensure it didnt happen again.

[Mrsglitterfairy]

Just so you all know, I was never going to go steaming in and/or demanding to see the head. His teacher is a lovely lady who previously taught an after school club with DS1 so would have had a perfectly reasonable conversation with her. As it happens, she wasn't in today when I picked DS up so haven't had chance. As DS hasn't mentioned it since, I think I will leave it as it is, it clearly hasn't scarred him. Hopefully it will have been a one off and (if she did rip it up) she had just had enough..

[ilovesooty]

Dame so would I. Some of the more extreme reactions upthread should not be the default position.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

It's odd how people make excuses for this sort of behaviour from grown adults who should be setting an example. As a teacher earlier said it's not best practice and not the best way to get good results from a child.

Damn right there should be considered consequences for bad behaviour but not taking away what hed achieved for good behaviour.

I would CALMLY have a word and find out exactly what happened and take it from there.

[t4nut]

ilove - why on earth is everyone banging on about matching in? I don't know any parents in real life that have done that.

Because the standard response from the lunatics on this forum is to march in and complain to the head and/or call the police for everything.

This sort of discipline belongs back in the 70/80's.

If it happened. which we have no evidence of. What're you betting what the teacher said was along the lines of 'oh dear little johnny, if you can't sit and behave nicely we might have to tear up this good boy certificate and put it in the bin'

Perhaps the teacher should call social services when little johnny comes in and complains that mummy wouldn't let him watch cbbc because he was naughty last night - or more likely that mummy was going to throw the TV in the bin.

[GoblinLittleOwl]

I would be willing to bet that your child will now think hard about misbehaving again, which was the object of the exercise.
Leave it alone.

[ilovesooty]

Optimist - those are the words Willow used early in the thread.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

This sort of discipline is humiliating and unkind. Far from good practice. It won't get the best out of the pupil

Yes,quite.

This sort of discipline belongs back in the 70/80's.

[Optimist3]

ilove - why on earth is everyone banging on about matching in? I don't know any parents in real life that have done that.

[StringyPotatoes]

I very clearly remember being 7 and I LOVED my teacher. She was a wonderful woman. But on this particular day she had clearly had enough.

My "group" had decided to go to the craft corner. I worked really hard drawing a goodbye card for my cousin who had been living with us but was soon to move out. At home time my teacher looked through the tray of completed artwork and gave my group a dressing down saying how it was all rubbish and we'd wasted the resources and that we wouldn't be allowed to take it home. I have no doubt that some of the group did waste paper etc but I hadn't and tried to explain. It was shut down. I was gutted and remember apologising to my cousin for not having a card.

It's humiliating to have something that you value destroyed and it hurts and it's upsetting. I learned nothing from that except that teachers aren't always smiley and happy.
My teacher was truly a wonderful woman and even at the time I knew no-one would believe me. I would go in OP and calmly chat to her, OP. Explain that your son was hurt by it and see if she can reinstate his award. Apologies are something best learned through example!

[ilovesooty]

Op is perfectly entitled to have a nice chat with the teacher and clarify events

Absolutely. "Marching in" to see the head and making "demands" before clarifying the matter with the teacher is an overreaction.

[Optimist3]

14nut. What utter rubbish. It may or may not be true. Op is perfectly entitled to have a nice chat with the teacher and clarify events.

I'm a teacher and know for a fact ripping up awards would be considered bad practice. So no it's not her classroom, her rules. The teacher has rules to abide by herself and will have a firm knowledge of school discipline procedures.

[ilovesooty]

I thought Willow was the poster using language such as "marching in" and "demand" upthread.

[t4nut]

Becausecif you read up over half the poster shave posted some permutation if 'she shouldn't have ripped it up - complain' with no thought at all that (a) its not likely to be true and (b) even if it was its her classroom and her rules so butt out. And the occurance of 'teacher looked at my child funny, I'm going to give the teacher a piece of my mind' posts are daily.

[Optimist3]

T4nut. People are not suggesting steaming into school. You have that very silly idea in your head. It is possible to chat through a concern in a positive constructive way.

You also forget that parents usually know their child quite well and would have a good gage of their child's honesty/imagination. Also many parents are intelligent, some are professionals, teachers, social workers, childcare workers and have a solid knowledge in related areas.

Teachers are human. They sometimes get things wrong. If she did tear up the award, she really needs to make amends for unacceptable behaviour.

[Willow2016]

t4nut

Again with the steaming into school like a nut! OP has said she isnt going into wreck havok, just ask what happened!

Why are you being so dramatic and childish? Saying we are going to war is a ridiculous comparison, why are you so hell bent on insulting the op and her child? You werent there either.

I have heard things about teachers which you wouldnt want to believe but they turned out to be fact, its not an impossibility that the child is right. I hope they arent as it doesnt bode well for the rest of the term if the teacher is doing that in the 1st week! Fingers crossed its a misunderstanding, but until OP comes back and tells us it was stop being a smartass and trying to take the mick out of anyone who dares to have a different opinion from you.

[hels71]

It is always possible that he had been asked/told eleventy billion times to put the award in his drawer/bag and had not done so therefore the teacher had removed it from him as he was disrupting others with it..

[Starlight234]

My DC, similar age, told me he sat on a chair looking sad all day at school and his teacher didn't talk to him at all. Not once. He has been known to sit still at home for whole minutes at a time.

Co incidentally my Ds told me when he was at nursery he had sat on the carpet all day waiting for me...He was spontaneously combust if he did.

[Boundaries]

My DC, similar age, told me he sat on a chair looking sad all day at school and his teacher didn't talk to him at all. Not once. He has been known to sit still at home for whole minutes at a time.

I decided to err on the side of creative thinking.

And 😂 calling SS re a picture being torn up. You were kidding, right?

[t4nut]

So when your child comes home and claims the teacher told them were going to war and might have to leave the country do you

Take it at face value and go steaming into school like a madwoman

Or perhaps do a little more digging, question what your child said and perhaps read the letter that's still in the bookbag and realise this week they're doing ww2 evacuation....

Yes your special snowflake is still your Special snowflake in a room of 30 special snowflakes all of whom blur reality with imagination 77 times a day and forget what they were told 6 seconds ago and have to be reminded regularly not to eat sand or glue.

Let the teacher do their job. They know it better than you.

[waterrat]

on Mumsnet there seems to be a strong opinion that you should never question teachers and should generally assume your child is naughty or lying.

When I hand over my very young child (5 is very young - most children across Europe are not in school until 6 ) - I expect them to be treated with care not just 'taught' - they need to be looked after.

So I expect to be able to talk to the personr esponsible for my small child if I am worried about anything - all this ridiculous worrying on mumsnet that you might annoy or upset a teacher. IF we are going to send our children in for long days at school at such a young age I for one will not be letting go of my concern and care for my child in that time.

[bumsexatthebingo]

I don't think anyone is suggesting that the op doesn't check her facts first. It's the people who are suggesting ripping up a certificate is a normal and acceptable form of discipline. I assume they don't rip up their kids certificates when they misbehave at home. Or maybe they do...

[Optimist3]

Just because an adult believes their child, doesn't mean they will steam into school! What a silly conclusion to make. People often believe their children but approach school staff appropriately.

[YorkieDorkie]

Oh no she could have just asked him to put it in her drawer/other place until he was behaving properly and could earn it back. And to be honest, it's a reward for work which should be earned regardless of his behaviour after. It would be more understandable if it was a certificate for behaviour.