To be annoyed with DS teacher

[Mrsglitterfairy]

DS2 is 5 and last Friday, after his first week in year 1, he won the achievement award from his teacher. However, he was not very well behaved on Friday afternoon and after numerous warnings his teacher took his award off him.. Now I understand he shouldn't get a reward if he has been not listening and messing, and am all for her taking it off him, but she ripped it up. He came out of school so upset that she had ripped up his certificate and threw it in the bin in front of everyone. AIBU for being annoyed that she did that? I just feel that it was a bit harsh for a 5 year old

[t4nut]

Stop judging what the teacher may or may not have done and under what circumstances on the story of a five year old.

My kids at that age told many stories - including how they definitely say Santas reindeer on the roof, how we had horses living at the bottom of our garden, how they'd eaten a frog, how they went to the moon that day at school etc.

If you take the story of a five year old at face value and go storming into school like a demented she bear you are the biggest idiot in town.

[youredeadtomesteven]

Rip up her degree certificate for bad behaviour see how she likes her hard work being destroyed!

[Willow2016]

t4nut
OP never said she is going in 'like a she bear' nobody suggested she did. We all said she should ask in school what happened and if her son is telling the truth to ask what the teacher hoped to achieve by humiliating him in public.
Thats not good teaching no matter how you 'excuse' or 'dress it up'.

I will usually defend teachers if they are right but experience has taught me that often they arent and can be bloody useless bullies in some circumstances, so dont think they are all angels because they arent.

[t4nut]

I now understand why so many people fall for email and phone scams telling them an African Prince needs to borrow their bank account, or that their computer has a virus.....

[Willow2016]

t4nut
If you have never had the unfortunate experience of crap teachers bullying your kids think yourself lucky and be careful you dont fall off your high horse.

[Mrsglitterfairy]

t4nut If you actually read back, I said if his account is true and nowhere did I say I would go in 'like a bear'. I too can see why people fall for scams etc if they're like you & can't be bothered to read things in full before having an opinion

[t4nut]

Yes but 90% of the posters on here have assumed that a story recounted on an internet forum of a story a 5 year old gave must be 100% true and therefore they must go steaming into school to give the teacher a piece of their mind. Sadly it seems they cannot spare it and should not be allowed out without adult supervision.

Basic rule of thumb. If a 5 year old tells you something that sounds unlikely or ridiculous then the truth probably bears little relationship to the story you've been told.

[Floggingmolly]

Sadly it seems they cannot spare it. . I love that

[cheapandcheerful]

Let's twist it another way. He goes into school and says, for example
"Mummy ripped up my picture". They'd be on the phone to SS.

What a ridiculous thing to say!

[budgiegirl]

I will usually defend teachers if they are right but experience has taught me that often they arent and can be bloody useless bullies in some circumstances, so dont think they are all angels because they arent

No, but they are all human. And they will all do things differently. And sometimes they will lose their temper. And sometimes they will do things that you disagree with, it doesn't necessarily make them wrong. It's very different, looking after and teaching 30 kids, instead of 2 or 3 at home.

OP, I'd feel the same as you - not bothered about the award being taken away , but cross about it being ripped up, if that actually happened. But I'd also let it go, if this is the only time you've had a cause for concern with this teacher. Maybe your DS just pushed her to the end of her thether on this occasion, despite warnings. She is just human after all.

[Scarydinosaurs]

5 is so small! To rip it up is horrid.

I think you're right to be annoyed, hopefully this is the last time it happens. Maybe this will help him, but it makes me sad that at five we have such high expectations of small people, and they're in classes so large that there has to be such strict rules about what they do and when.

[YorkieDorkie]

Oh no she could have just asked him to put it in her drawer/other place until he was behaving properly and could earn it back. And to be honest, it's a reward for work which should be earned regardless of his behaviour after. It would be more understandable if it was a certificate for behaviour.

[Optimist3]

Just because an adult believes their child, doesn't mean they will steam into school! What a silly conclusion to make. People often believe their children but approach school staff appropriately.

[bumsexatthebingo]

I don't think anyone is suggesting that the op doesn't check her facts first. It's the people who are suggesting ripping up a certificate is a normal and acceptable form of discipline. I assume they don't rip up their kids certificates when they misbehave at home. Or maybe they do...

[waterrat]

on Mumsnet there seems to be a strong opinion that you should never question teachers and should generally assume your child is naughty or lying.

When I hand over my very young child (5 is very young - most children across Europe are not in school until 6 ) - I expect them to be treated with care not just 'taught' - they need to be looked after.

So I expect to be able to talk to the personr esponsible for my small child if I am worried about anything - all this ridiculous worrying on mumsnet that you might annoy or upset a teacher. IF we are going to send our children in for long days at school at such a young age I for one will not be letting go of my concern and care for my child in that time.

[t4nut]

So when your child comes home and claims the teacher told them were going to war and might have to leave the country do you

Take it at face value and go steaming into school like a madwoman

Or perhaps do a little more digging, question what your child said and perhaps read the letter that's still in the bookbag and realise this week they're doing ww2 evacuation....

Yes your special snowflake is still your Special snowflake in a room of 30 special snowflakes all of whom blur reality with imagination 77 times a day and forget what they were told 6 seconds ago and have to be reminded regularly not to eat sand or glue.

Let the teacher do their job. They know it better than you.

[Boundaries]

My DC, similar age, told me he sat on a chair looking sad all day at school and his teacher didn't talk to him at all. Not once. He has been known to sit still at home for whole minutes at a time.

I decided to err on the side of creative thinking.

And 😂 calling SS re a picture being torn up. You were kidding, right?

[Starlight234]

My DC, similar age, told me he sat on a chair looking sad all day at school and his teacher didn't talk to him at all. Not once. He has been known to sit still at home for whole minutes at a time.

Co incidentally my Ds told me when he was at nursery he had sat on the carpet all day waiting for me...He was spontaneously combust if he did.

[hels71]

It is always possible that he had been asked/told eleventy billion times to put the award in his drawer/bag and had not done so therefore the teacher had removed it from him as he was disrupting others with it..

[Willow2016]

t4nut

Again with the steaming into school like a nut! OP has said she isnt going into wreck havok, just ask what happened!

Why are you being so dramatic and childish? Saying we are going to war is a ridiculous comparison, why are you so hell bent on insulting the op and her child? You werent there either.

I have heard things about teachers which you wouldnt want to believe but they turned out to be fact, its not an impossibility that the child is right. I hope they arent as it doesnt bode well for the rest of the term if the teacher is doing that in the 1st week! Fingers crossed its a misunderstanding, but until OP comes back and tells us it was stop being a smartass and trying to take the mick out of anyone who dares to have a different opinion from you.

[Optimist3]

T4nut. People are not suggesting steaming into school. You have that very silly idea in your head. It is possible to chat through a concern in a positive constructive way.

You also forget that parents usually know their child quite well and would have a good gage of their child's honesty/imagination. Also many parents are intelligent, some are professionals, teachers, social workers, childcare workers and have a solid knowledge in related areas.

Teachers are human. They sometimes get things wrong. If she did tear up the award, she really needs to make amends for unacceptable behaviour.

[t4nut]

Becausecif you read up over half the poster shave posted some permutation if 'she shouldn't have ripped it up - complain' with no thought at all that (a) its not likely to be true and (b) even if it was its her classroom and her rules so butt out. And the occurance of 'teacher looked at my child funny, I'm going to give the teacher a piece of my mind' posts are daily.

[ilovesooty]

I thought Willow was the poster using language such as "marching in" and "demand" upthread.

[Optimist3]

14nut. What utter rubbish. It may or may not be true. Op is perfectly entitled to have a nice chat with the teacher and clarify events.

I'm a teacher and know for a fact ripping up awards would be considered bad practice. So no it's not her classroom, her rules. The teacher has rules to abide by herself and will have a firm knowledge of school discipline procedures.

[ilovesooty]

Op is perfectly entitled to have a nice chat with the teacher and clarify events

Absolutely. "Marching in" to see the head and making "demands" before clarifying the matter with the teacher is an overreaction.