To get annoyed when people say I had an easy labour?

[g1nthemystery]

AIBU that every time someone hears that my labour lasted 3 and 1/2 hours it really annoys me that they always say something like "oh a nice/easy one/lucky you/I'm jealous" you get the idea.

Does anyone else have this? My labour was pretty horrific - I went straight from no labour to suddenly established labour. It was agony, I had no time for drugs, and it happened so quickly that there were multiple complications right at the end.

The whole episode left me and DP pretty traumatised - DP went from wanting 3 kids to just the one simply because he never wanted me to go through it again!

Usually I reply along the lines of: "not really."

I get every labour is different and difficult in their own ways, guess I'm just irked that people assume I got off lightly and am somehow lucky because it happened in less time.

People can be incredibly insensitive. It's common knowledge - by people in the know like HCPs - that a very quick labour can be difficult psychologically and physically. As time goes on you will find there is less discussion, and often you can just say nothing if a few people in a group are giving their stories. That's what i found anyway. Sometimes, once i'd had 4 of them, I would say airily ' I had very mixed experiences' (which is the truth!). Most people aren't necessarily listening anyway .....

But eventually it becomes distant history, honestly it does. Yet I can remember people saying the 'of course you cheated' after my first caesarean; someone even said 'And of course you had all the pain afterwards instead'. I beg your pardon, i was in labour for days beforehand. But, like I say, it does pass. My 'baby' is 18 BTW.

Thanks plot. It always worried me that I wouldn't get to the induction date though. For now I'm happy with my two but I think if we decide to have any more I'll be camping out at the hospital it later pregnancy!!

YANBU. I've had 4 quick labours (one ending with a crash section) and an elective section. I've no experience of a long labour but quick wasn't easy in my experience.

I've had a 30hour labour, a 12 hour labour, and an hour and a half.
They got easier as they got quicker for me.
Wouldn't wish a long labour on anyone, not just the pain, but the worry and feeling that this baby will never come out.

Dsis had a quick labour. She also lost a lot of blood and they didn't administer antibiotics for strep b during labour so her and dniece had a two day hospital stay afterwards. Yanbu op.

However I do also get a bit fed up with people scaring first time mums shitless about their stories of horrific labour. For this reason alone I tend to err on the more positive side. My labour with ds1 was slow but a positive experience and that's what I focus on. Looking forward to doing it again in 8 weeks!

Some of the stories of very quick labours sound like what happened when I was induced with the very quick ramping up of the pain. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, it was horrendous.

I was induced over three days, no idea about stages or anything, but they broke my waters at just after 9am on the third day, DS was born just after 7pm. It really was the worst thing I've ever experienced.

I'm never doing it again.

It's not only on mn people ask about labours, i was asked about mine last week and DD is nearly 3. It was 5 hours from start to finish and while I'm glad it was quick there were lots of complications after so no it's definitely not easy, birth never is.

My labours weren't quick but I had drug free waterbirths and I'm always told 'oh aren't you lucky having such a easy labour'...erm what exactly about it do you think was easy?!

yanbu and how your labour went is none of their business!

We all have different labours, personally I think it's the aftermath we shpuld feel lucky or unlucky about. I feel very lucky I never had stitches and definitely think that means I'm better off than others!

Yanbu. Five-hiur labour was intense but gave my body time to get attuned to the process. Second labour, under two hours, was much more brutal. I've had the same comments.

I've had three one hour ish Labour's. The first I delivered five minutes after arriving at hospital, the second I delivered myself (dh was calling the ambulance as dc was early) and the third was a planned home delivery - I even had a midwife she dropped everything and drove fast who I called on my first sharp pain, and gas and air. I wasn't even sure I was in labour when I called.

The third was definitely better.
Yanbu

Only you know the pain you experience before and after birth. I think everyone's perceptions are very different. No one has any right to tell you, yours was easy! Equally no one has the right to tell me mine was awful just because on paper I guess it sounds like it was!

That's why it's called 'Labour'...it's bloody hard work

26 hours with first and 6 with the second. Both straightforward but 6 hour one was much better than 26! I was exhausted after my first was born.
Everyone is different and I would never judge anyone's labour experience. I know I was very, very lucky and would take both my labours any day over many of my friends, whose labours may have been shorter but who lost lots of blood or tore badly.

My last labour was less than an hour - it was the most horrendous of all, most painful and took longest to recover

These birth conversations won't last much longer, once your baby grows up a bit then it will die down and you will no longer have to justify it or even think about it much.

If it annoys you why are you going around telling so many people the length of your labour? Its not exactly every day conversation.
Don't have the conversations, and you won't be annoyed. Is that too simple an answer?

Let's face it .. It bastard hurts at some stage no matter how the dear babba is delivered.

YANBU! I've had two c sections so I've had the 'easiest births possible'. Really gets on my nerves.

Yep quick labour here too and definitely not easy. Sent home by midwife who refused to examine me before I left despite intense frequent contractions. Delivered at home a few hours later!

YANBU for sure! It's rude and presumptuous of people.

I had an epidural both times. It was bloody great! (I think they gave me a bit much the first time - couldn't feel a thing. Even when they yanked her out with forceps!) Do I win the prize for the easiest one?

Two labours here, first 12 hours with epidural. Second was precipitous labour so just over 30mins from start to finish! Although recovery was better second time round, it was FAR more traumatic.

All labours hurt, quicker doesn't necessarily mean easier! So no, YANBU!

First labour, 18 hours.

Second labour, three fucking days.

Third labour, THREE HOURS.

I'd happily have three days of intermittent, slowly-increasing-in-pain contractions over hard and fast labour done and dusted in under three hours, given the choice. Felt like I'd been hit by a lorry! Though thank god no tears or complications.

Yanbu.

I had 16 hours of induced labour with g&a, a botched epidural, crash section, 3 hours in theatre, lost 4 litres of blood, a scalpel to my ureter left unnoticed, leaked urine vaginally for weeks, a massive internal infection that burst out of my scar Alien style, 3 massive further operations over first three months of son's life, two long stays in intensive care and months of various tubes, drains, bags, and catheters. Oh and a hysterectomy.

Do I win a prize?

I have had five children and first three were okay- I will never forget 4th - the pain was unbelievably - back to back - but due to fast (4hours) max previous told "I should know it hurts by now "- spent most of pregnancy 5 crying!