To get annoyed when people say I had an easy labour?

[g1nthemystery]

AIBU that every time someone hears that my labour lasted 3 and 1/2 hours it really annoys me that they always say something like "oh a nice/easy one/lucky you/I'm jealous" you get the idea.

Does anyone else have this? My labour was pretty horrific - I went straight from no labour to suddenly established labour. It was agony, I had no time for drugs, and it happened so quickly that there were multiple complications right at the end.

The whole episode left me and DP pretty traumatised - DP went from wanting 3 kids to just the one simply because he never wanted me to go through it again!

Usually I reply along the lines of: "not really."

I get every labour is different and difficult in their own ways, guess I'm just irked that people assume I got off lightly and am somehow lucky because it happened in less time.

baby I would have loved to have an epidural but I didn't have the option, so I could also say your labour sounds fine to me.

And the nigh on 2.5litre blood loss.

• having

Another fast labourer here! 12 hours from waters breaking to holding dd1, second stage only lasted 12 mins.
Second time round was 2 hours from waking up a feeling like I had a tummy bug to holding my 9lb 3oz chunker. I pushed for like five pushes and she was out! I actually had to try to slow my labour so that at least one midwife was there. When she turned up I just screamed give me the g&a and started pushing!

People that say we are lucky don't understand how scary it is to have your body go from 0-100 all by itself. I'm do glad I was at home not out and about. Afterwards I was in shock as I'd only got up to go to the loo and all of a sudden I had a baby! I was all over the place mentally and I started shaking and went all saint and clammy. They kept checking my blood loss but it was just from the quick labour!

Why not just stop talking about your labour to people?

Incidentally I have had a very long labour (15h fromy arriving at hospital - although much longer at home before that) and a short labor (80 minutes from arriving at hospital and about that at home beforehand!!)

One was very medical, one very 'this baby is coming now' but both had advantages and disadvantages. Thankfully I managed to have zero tears or grazes with either but I don't consider the shorter was necessarily the easier? I'd not want to do either again

I think havin a baby generally hurts and is a bit shit whatever the circumstances. - chruchmum

Can we just appreciate how true these words are?

My 2nd progressed really quickly after a normal start. It was much more distressing than my previous 3 dayer.

No no. 3 here!

Agreed. I had a 37 hour labour with DS and it was shit.

People ask ThisUsername.

Gruffalo, I had 7 hours of intense contractions BEFORE the epidural! Yes it gave me relief from pain for the rest including the 2 hours of pushing and the bit where a giant baby was dragged out but I swear I would have preferred a shorter labour with no epidural. 10 minutes of contractions is too much!

(That was to plotbunny )

ThisUsername - it's kind of unavoidable when people ask you, and working in a largely female environment, a lot of people tend to ask.

Heck I've had the strangest conversations with randomers simply because I have a baby now.

My labour was 1 hour 55 but easy is not what I would call it! Ds was in distress and had pooped in the womb. I had spd so had to be wheel chaired to the delivery room where I wasn't allowed any pain relief! YANBU

I've had a 27 hour long labour (proper labour not just pre or early) a three hour labour and a two hour labour.

The long one was the best and drug free and I coped amazing.
The shortest one was fucking hell and I will never ever get pregnant again due to how unbelievably agonising it was.
Intense pain I'd never felt. I broke a finger. I was screaming and shouting, pushing people over. I turnt insane with the pain. It truly send me over the edge I felt like I was being tortured.
So no, yanbu

'Time is no indication of ease'

This

My last labour was recorded as two minutes! Though it were more like 30, from waking up to her being here.

I don't necessarily think it's easier, I was really shocked. My mind couldn't keep up with how fast my body was progressing.

I just sort of sat there spaced out for a bit.

Everyone's labour is different and judgement shouldn't be made on any of them be it section or vaginal.

YANBU. I went from 'niggles' straight to full blown contractions, waters breaking and MIL delivering the baby while DH was phoning an ambulance in the space of 35 minutes. I went in to shock and had really bad PND. No labour is easy

YANBU.

I was induced by drip with only gas and air, hyperstimulated and went from drip being put in to giving birth in 2hrs 40.

Quick yes but definitely not easy, it was brutal. People talk out of their arse.

I agree with you to an extent. My first labour was only 5 hrs but literally nothing to full on agony and no let up. Again no time for pain relief so it was painful and scary!

My second labour despite being 16 hours was great - a home water birth where I felt in control and definitely preferable to the first.

All labours are different and time is not always an indicator of ease!

The point I was trying to make baby was that all of us can speculate on what we would have preferred but we don't know if it would have been preferable. I might have enjoyed not being able to feel the ring of fire ect but it didn't happen and won't ever happen as I don't have time for pain relief. You've done more labouring, I've felt more pushing. We've both been through an ordeal, I wouldn't say mine was 'harder' than anyone else's but I wouldn't call it 'fine' either.

Mine was so fast that I was home on my own until the last 5 minutes. Ambulance arrived at the last minute and DH arrived too late. Physically it was relatively easy but psychologically it was a nightmare. I've never been so scared in my life and had to see a psychologist for a while afterwards.

of my labours i'd take the fast excruciatingly painful one, over the not so fast excruciatingly painful one and the longer than war peace excruciatingly painful one. but its all much of a muchness. they all sucked.

My average labour was just under 13 hours, no complications or anything, but 36 hours with my first was horrendous even with epidural. Probably the worst thing I have ever experienced.
37 minutes with my second was terrifying, I thought I was dying. But afterwards was the best feeling in the world. Three and four were also sub an hour, and although it wasn't easy I felt great afterwards.... And it was dramatic, which I love.
I do think that that the pain is more concentrated with quick, but (complications aside) it is probably easier.

I agree that they are all shit, and no-one should describe any labour as 'easy'.

I also had a quickly progressing first labour - no-one believed I was in active labour (was told my midwife in the assessment unit that I was probably having 'early stage twinges' as I hadn't been in labour for long enough) so I felt really frightened and confused. I never managed to get any pain relief before DD was born. I was shaking for ages afterwards as I was in complete shock afterwards. I've been told I had it easy several times and it really pisses me off.