Would you give up your surname of you got married?

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I'm so undecided

I didn't because my surname is nicer than dhs, imo of course.

I didn't.
DC have DH's name. No issues that they don't have the same name as me.
A bit of me would have liked us all to use both surnames but they are both 11 letters so a bit much!
I only know a couple of people who changed their name after marriage.
Seems very odd to me, a bit like women giving up work on marriage or not having a bank account or inheritance. Things move on.

I didn't. My kids have my surname too. DH is now thinking of changing his name to ours, as it is much nicer than his!

I didn't - twice

Seems very odd to me, a bit like women giving up work on marriage or not having a bank account or inheritance. Things move on

I really disagree and I find that quite insulting as someone who changed their name. It didn't make me a Stepford wife or any less of a feminist.

After all, the name you were born with is your father's name. You're still keeping the name of a man.

I couldn't wait to change mine. After all it wasn't really mine it was my dads and he and his family were pretty nasty gits that I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life being associated with!

I hate hearing people say women do things because they don't know they can't, it's ridiculous and patronising! Most people I know have kept their name or double barrelled and are well aware it's their own choice. Even the gaggle of 10 year old girls I mind know that they don't have to change their name or have the same name as their children. That doesn't make my decision to take my husbands name any less informed.

I kept my name, made sense professionally and didn't see the point in changing it personally. DD has DH's name, my name is extremely common where I come from (although his is better known where we live now) and double barrelling would sound nuts (very long, 8 syllables). I don't mind when people refer to me as MrsDH's name.

Of course not. Why would I want to take FILs name?

DH's surname is nicer than mine but I still didn't consider taking it even for a moment. I cannot imagine not being called by my own surname. It's never caused any real problems and I didn't have to go through the rigmarole of changing it on everything. As an added bonus it saves me explaining why I don't use the title Mrs.

I didn't for my first marriage (didn't really like his surname and was much more 'militant' about feminist issues in those days).

I did for my second marriage - I don't have particularly strong views about it either way - the majority of women I know share the same surname as their husband. I am not defined by my surname.

But for those of you who are so against changing your name, why, in many cases, do your children have their father's surname rather than your's? .

It's so much more than 'just a name'. It's who I am. My identity. My heritage.

I changed mine, and for my specific circumstances I would again. I had a weird situation:
-Sibling A: Birth certificate in the names of 'Jones' - long story but not father or mother's names, but went exceedingly well with first name!
-Mother married, become 'PantsName'. Sibling A becomes also known as 'Pantsname'
-Sibling B born - surname 'Pantsname'
-Mother and Mr Pantsname divorce
-Mother then has me with Mr Smith. Birth certificate has surname 'Smith'
-Mother and Mr Smith break up when I'm young. Mother starts having me also called 'Pantsname' and succeeds in getting this on all official paperwork including passport, but never officially changes it so birth cert says 'Smith'

By the time I got married:
-Dad (Mr Smith) was nowhere to be seen and hadn't been since I was 5
-Sibling A (the only one I'm close to) had changed name back to Jones,
-Sibling B is an abusive dick
-Mother isn't even attending wedding.

Funnily enough with a messy history like that, 'Pantsname' never felt like much of a part of me, my identify or my heritage. It was also a bloody ugly name. The mismatch between birth cert and other docs was, at times, a pita so I was going to have to try and formalize it anyway so I decided to just go with DH's much nice surname. I felt more of a bond with his name which I'd actively chosen than with either of my options.

No. I have a perfectly good one already. Would your DP take yours?

I did but pretty much everyone where I live keep theirs and take their husbands also.

In common with many on this thread, I changed my name when dds started school. Now separated and almost certainly moving to divorce and now find STBXH's name as mine makes me very sad when used, which as a teacher is constant so all the more saddening.

Surely if you want everyone in your family to have the same name, the easiest way to achieve this is by giving any dcs your name?

Changing mine was never a consideration.

No

DCs have both out names.

Cos they have my country ragwort. They have names reflecting DHs culture, first names too, so that side of their heritage is also expressed. If we lived in his country of origin not mine, it'd be the opposite.

But for those of you who are so against changing your name, why, in many cases, do your children have their father's surname rather than your's?

In my case, because there are lots of MySurnames in my family, but DH is an only child of an only child of an etc etc and is the only DHSurname left. So it seemed more balanced to add another new DHSurname than a new MySurname. If we'd both had siblings/cousins then DC would probably have had my surname.

I'm not sure yet. I like the idea of having the same name BUT his name is long with a weird spelling. I would spend the rest of my life correcting people. My maiden name is 3 letters and you cannot mess it up. So still undecided.

I lose respect for women who do this.

I don't say so to them. But I'm thinking it.

Slaves were given their masters' names. They didn't have a choice.

I did I wanted he same name as him and preferred his to mine I now live my new name

I did- but it was 20+ years ago. It would have been a big deal to keep it- all my peers who kept theirs had real hassles once children came along/ school etc and started using their husband's then. I hope my DCs will barrel up with their partners.

Who's name do you have then beebeeight?

Bee bee,

Being free and not a slave means you have a choice. It can also be a choice to want to belong with someone.

1st marriage: Initially I didn't, I didn't plan to plus we were living abroad and it just seemed too much hassle. I did change it when we returned to the UK. 2 children have same surname.
Divorce - I kept my married name.
2nd marriage - I haven't changed it, so am still Mrs exH name.