Would you give up your surname of you got married?

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I'm so undecided

I guess I am the next generation having just named our child with a double barrelled name (both me and partner have different already double barrelled surnames). It wasn't ever really an issue. We picked one each.

If we were starting again now, I don't think anyone suggesting that all women should change their name to that of their husband would get very far in justifying their position.

It would be like if Justine on mumsnet had insisted that everyone on mumsnet had the username "childsname'smum". Nicknames of your child would be fine eg I could be "sausagemum", "daft'apeth'smum". All quite fun, and I would have to use my "maiden mumsnet name" if I wanted to talk about other things.

Don't they do something much nicer in Iceland? So I could be Jillsdottir.

I didn't change mine, he changed his, our marriage was short lived so I do wonder why he hasn't changed back, I think of him as his pre marriage name. We have a dc so maybe that's why he hasn't changed back.

Don't they do something much nicer in Iceland? So I could be Jillsdottir.
It's still the father's name, unfortunately.

Nope. I didn't.

No one is saying taking your husbands name bars you from the feminist club. But isnt it worth thinking about what that choice means and why it is only women face this choice?

It's not personal....some people seem overly bent on convincing us all that they alone made their choice in a complete social vacuum without an iota of any external pressure!

"'What's the next generation going to do when so many of this generation have double barrelled their surnames?'

I know, it's worrying isn't it? They have so few options.............."

And the next generation will have to have 8 names all hyphenated together. It will be the law.

Bother

I thought it was from the mother, like mitochondria.

(In Iceland)

'What's the next generation going to do when so many of this generation have double barrelled their surnames?'

Also are people that say this seriously suggesting the only thing that put them off double barrelling is noble foresight for the decisions of their descendants?

If not, I suggest it is somewhat of a red herring!

Iceland is tradionally 'fatherschristainnamesson' or 'fatherschristainnamesdottir'
That is changing a bit now as some single mothers are using their name more now.

I kept my name and kids have my name too. Exh kept his own.

I genuinely don't understand why this is such a big deal. A lot of stuff surrounding weddings is steeped in tradition - yes, obviously a patriarchal tradition, but things evolve to take on their own significance. How many people have their father give them away? (I didn't - but I do have my DH's name.) Surely that is deeply offensive and implies that a woman is a possession to be traded? How many wore a white dress? Surely that implies that virginity in women is valuable and is a symbol of the oppression of female sexuality? (I'm knobbing on a bit, but you get the jist). Some people just do these things because they've grown up with the notion that that's how it should be, others - for example - just like wearing white. Why isn't the name thing just the same? People have different reasons for their choice in this day and age.

Wearing a white dress and all the gubbins is one day.

Changing your name is making a non feminist choice which will stay with you for the rest of your life. And whether you like it or not, making a public statement about the value of women.

We've argued (in the nicest possible way!) about this before, Bertrand! One day it may be, but why does that make it any less of a statement about the value of women?

I'd argue that all these things have just become absorbed into popular culture and have arguably lost much or all of their original "meaning".

I did. Because my married name is unturndownable comedy genius

I use my last name and my dh's last name, so both. Our dc has dh's last name only. My question is, when a child receives two last names from their parents, when they grow up, marry someone with two last names, and they have children, what combination of the four last names would one give?

To answer Op's question, just do what you want.

littlebeautybelle whatever combination they like

I changed my name because I wanted to.

I don't care that ,in the past, it meant being someone's property....times have changed, we all know that's not how it works now!

We are Mr and Mrs Donut ,a family unit,with children who share our surname. It makes life easy.

But,you know, it's up to you if you feel strongly about it.

Changing your name is massive. Maybe some women don't see it that way, but it's very obvious from this thread alone that most men do. They don't like changing their names.

A wedding is just a day. I wasn't given away, but I wore a white dress (I'm sure nobody was labouring under the delusion that I was a virgin). That really isn't a big deal. Changing the name I've had all my life to fit the patriarchal template - big deal.

Whatever combination you like. This was discussed just up thread littlebeautybelle

Natalia I didn't do any of that.

If anyone should have given me away it would have been my mother, she did all the graft bringing me up, as it happens dh and I walked in together, I wore a red dress.

However that is only one day, changing your name is a decision with lasting consequences. It's worth considering what you would do if your husband divorced you, if you remarried, if he remarried, if you had more children with your new husband.

I think it's wrong to say it doesn't mean anything anymore.

I did not change my name and our children got a double barrelled name of two eleven letter surnames ...it does not fit in to official forms, too many letters
We agreed that when they were older they could choose, and now my son uses my name, while my daughter likes to addressed as myname /initial of his name., and has said she might choose his name soon.

And, if it's SO insignificant, so unimportant, so meaningless, only to make life easier.

Why the eff don't men sometimes change theirs?

It seems to me that a name is VERY important to men! Even if they're called Mr Shit.

Except no one here will admit that.

No I wouldn't.
I think other women shouldn't either. It won't stop being an expected sexist tradition and become a real choice until more women stop changing it.