...to be really upset by this comment from one of DH's friends over lunch?

[39up]

"When I first met you I wondered what [my DH] was thinking. But look at you now? Looks like he's got the last laugh"

I was a size 20 when DH and I got together. I'm now a size 12. But I'm still the same person. I didn't think I looked that awful when I was bigger - I just lost weight for health reasons. I am really upset at the thought that people I liked were judging me that way.

And now I'm pregnant.

Will they start thinking DH has lost his mind again?

DH thinks it was a very clumsy compliment but I feel horrible.

[AGenie]

Is there any possibility that he is now totally kicking himself for having blurted out something stupid? Maybe he has crappy social skills.

[KoalaDownUnder]

Cannot believe that anyone is so astonishingly rude. What a horrible person he is!

Reminds me of one of my friend's husband's mates. On finding out that they were dating, he said 'What do you call that? A sympathy fuck??'

Hope he felt suitably mortified when they ended up getting married!

[ManaFleet]

The idea that you are attractive or not depending on shape is barmy. You are you whatever wrapping you come in. Sounds like he's obsessed with his own body image and thinks everyone is the same. It irritates the hell out of me when people talk about my weight as though it's open for public discussion.

Either that or he's 'negging' by giving you what looks like a compliment but is actually an insult - a way of undermining your confidence apparently.

Either way, I'd tell him to fuck off. A lighthearted comment ("Was that supposed to be a compliment? You're not good at talking to people are you?") should give him something to think about. On the offchance that he was being genuine, it might give him pause.

Congratulations! Love your bump, it's absolutely glorious and to be celebrated.

[TheNewWife]

Congrats on your pregnancy!
My DH also has a dickhead friend, I do my utmost to ignore his snide remarks about me being 19 years younger than my DH.
Unfortunately, we can hear a hundred compliments but one put down sticks with us far more.
The guy sounds very vain and shallow, try not to take it to heart ((hugs))

[goose1964]

I agree that he's as deep as a puddle, but given you're pregnant (congratulations) you may be a bit more sensitive than usual, which he should know if he was a decent human being.

[Kitten3]

He's a dick. End of story.

Don't you mind what he said in the least- upsetting yourself over the small mindedness of others is a waste of time and energy.
Glory in your pregnancy and weight gain/loss and delete his comments from your memory.

[scampimom]

I remember bumping into a former colleague a few years back, and the first thing she said to me was "Ooh in't you got fat!"

Much younger then so all I could muster was a stammering, "oh well yes, I suppose so". Nowadays I'd have informed her that it was because every time I'd shagged her husband, he gave me a biscuit.

Ah, l'esprit d'escalier.

[happybee1]

Sounds like an idiot. Years ago, one of my friends used to get people saying to her you'd be really pretty if you were slimmer!
I went out with somebody in my late twenties who used to say to people about me, she was really attractive when she was younger!! Insecure idiots the lot of them making themselves feel better by making other people feel bad. Congrats and enjoy your pregnancy, try and forget about his comment x

[Stormtreader]

Sounds like he meant "I am a very shallow person. When you were larger you were not acceptable for me to be seen with, but you have now slimmed down to a weight acceptable to me. You may now bask in the light of my acceptance!"

He'd probably be astonished to find out that even with all his gym-going, you are utterly indifferent to his opinion of you. Actually, he'd probably be baffled to find out that he is not your secret crush.