To think these Facebook photos and maybe the content are inappropriate (possibly triggering)

[Smartcub]

There's a couple I know, acquaintances, and they have their dgds to stay most weekends. 3 girls.

If it's relevant the children are the grandmothers sons children and stay at the grandparents during his access time while he goes out, he's not with their mum. The grandfather is a step grandfather (not the sons real dad). The grandchildren are primary school age and one is a toddler.

The grandmother posts absolutely everything on Facebook and her relationship with ex dil is very bad to non existent. They don't like each other at all.

Recently there's been loads of photos of the 3 girls in the bath. I thought I wouldn't post those especially as a grandparent but none of my business.

More recently though there are photos of the eldest girl in bed asleep with the grandad with him spooning her. He's fully clothed but she's only got her pants on. What's more is the grandmother has over 1000 friends so hardly a private page.

I'm not saying there's anything going on but a few things crossed my mind.

Is it ok for a step grandad to sleep in bed with his primary school age dgd particularly cuddled up to her in just her underwear?

Is it ok to post the photos on Facebook?

I've no doubt it's completely innocent but to me it just oversteps the grandparent relationship, I'm thinking in terms of teaching children boundaries and privacy.

There is also that niggling doubt in the back of my mind, there was some abuse that went on in my own extended family and it does make you suspicious because you know even the nicest, loveliest people can do terrible things.

Did you start a thread about inappropriate paintings too?

No I didn't start a thread about paintings?

Well, the fact that they are on Facebook would imply that they are entirely innocent - if they had something to hide they wouldn't be posting the photos up.

But I don't think YABU either.

It's not my first post I've been on here years.

I namechanged because it's identifying.

I'm totally confused but hey ho mumsnet is like that sometimes.

What's 'identifying'??

Nothing.... nothing identifying at all

No I'm not being goady whatsoever.

It's identifying if the lady it's about or one of her friends reads it then links my other posts about my own family or children.

I'm not being goady and I haven't started a thread about paintings.

I can see it's obviously just going to be one of those threads where everyone piles in and tears a strip of the op so carry on.

So it would be fine then if he wasn't a step grandad but a blood one then?
Odfod, how vile

Or maybe op everyone thinks this is a horrible post

It is very identifying, how many people with 3 granddaughters and a step grandfather plus fractured relationships with dil are going to have posted these specific photos?

I didn't say it would or wouldn't be fine I said if it's relevant.

Of course a step parent relationship might be different.

I think it makes a difference that it's the step-grandad. I remember learning in psychology that stepfathers were statistically more likely to abuse their stepchildren than blood fathers. Obviously doesn't mean they all are or that blood fathers don't do it, but I don't think it's irrelevant. Does sound a bit overly close contact though.

Ok op. Yabu. Like everyone else says. Can you accept that?

So the photos are on Facebook?
I'm sure it's more likely that if the SGF had untoward intentions he'd stay away from social media pics?

Everyone else?

Anyway it's not even just about their relationship but about whether it's fair on the girl to be posting photos of her asleep in bed in her pants to over 1000 people. She's not a baby.

I know that's not a fashionable idea.

Those statistics are irrelevant here Penelope. There is no indication of abuse. So let's not spout out A level Psych without evaluating circumstances and actually having a decent view of the situation.

So what's the problem then? The photos or the grandad? You made it largely about the grandad.

Well I'm going to answer the question not troll hunt on this one as it's not so obvious to me.

I'd find it wrong for them to be sharing naked bath photos to all and sundry when they aren't their children. Her DIL must hate it.

I also would find it inappropriate for a grandfather to cuddle up to a little girl in just knickers as it sets the wrong standard. Maybe I'm a prude but I don't care. Father fine, grandfather nope. Step grandfather unless he was there from raising the father (?) more nope.