To hate it when men 'joke' like this.

[KindergartenKop]

Maybe it's not always men but I've never experienced a woman who has done this.

So today I took DS1 to a charity shop. He picked two books at 50p each. I gave Ds a pound coin. The man at the till took the books and said, 'That's four pounds please'. Ds looked worried and the man said 'Only joking, it's one pound'. We paid and left.
I've had people say this sort of thing to me so often and it always beffuddles me and makes me feel stupid. Am I the only person who attracts this form of idiocy? Aibu to be pissed off that this man worried my son? It's not fucking funny!

I know what you mean OP!

I went to collect a parcel at a collection point out of town. I'd had to search for it on a map as I hadn't been there before and gave the man at the desk my collection number saying that I hoped I'd got the right place.
He looked at me completely blankly and said that he didn't know anything about a collection point...
I was really confused as It was the only place in the area with that name. I started to scramble about for my phone & e-mail confirmation and when I finally found it & showed him, he laughed and said 'oh yeh, I'm only joking...we do get parcels, just a minute'...

WTF??? Seriously, WTF????

As requested many, many times on the thread already, can someone on the "learn to take a joke" side please explain how a simple, believable lie is a joke? If the guy had said "that's a thousand pounds, please!" that would be a joke (a shit one). The (vaguely) funny thing about that is the incongruity of the account of money and the surprise factor, and sharing in the fact that a surprising thing has been said (most jokes get their humour from surprise, e.g. a pun is funny because the word can mean two things, and it's surprising that the second meaning was the correct one when initially it seemed that the first meaning was the correct one - and the ingenuity of the way that one word can be made to seem as though it was another word makes us smile because we hadn't noticed before). Where does the humour come from in a believable lie, unless it's just the humour to the teller of seeing someone else feel slightly disappointed? That's not really humour, that's just being unpleasant.

Everytime my dad goes shopping when the shop assistant gives the price he say'£88? I just want this shopping not to buy the place!' Sometimes the assistant laughs sometimes they look nonplussed. This irrelevant as no children were harmed in the making of this joke. I support my Dad's right to make a stranger feel uncomfortable with his joke

It's not really funny. What if your child had become genuinely upset (maybe burst into ears if very sensitive) before the supposed grown up had said he was only joking? In a small way it's an abuse of power.

In retail people usually have some sort of training before they are let loose behind the tills but some shops may just give teach the absolute basics such as knowing how to work the till and we all know that there's much more to customer service than that.

I just said to DS 'Do you like it when people make jokes to you?' He said 'Sometimes... You're going to make one at me aren't you?'

I have a feeling I'm the man in the OP, except I'm a woman!

Ah, Foxes got there first.

The only time this could be conceived as even faintly amusing is in one of those culturally-sanctioned "everybody lies!" days; in our culture, April Fool's Day. Everybody is expected to expect that something said may be untrue. I don't think this would even be a good April Fool joke, but if it were, the surprise would probably come from the "oh I'd forgotten it was our cultural rules-all-change day and now I've remembered" thing. Lies in that situation can be funny, too, because somebody's told a lie that should have obviously been a lie because of what day it is, just as £1000 is obviously a fake price.

Clever lies that are obviously ludicrous when you look at them carefully, but seem plausible on the surface, can also be funny - see the "spaghetti trees" joke. It's funny, because it's difficult and clever to make something ludicrous believable; but, again, only funny because everyone is, or should be, in on it due to it being a rule-change day (or due to it being somewhere like The Onion or The Daily Mash).

A joke is funny for everyone.

Its not a joke if someone feels belittled or stupid or its at the expense of someone else. (taking a little while to get the joke is different)

That's clearly not true. Taste in humour varies enormously. I enjoy political satire. That's not to everyone's taste. My kids love Mr Bean. No accounting for taste!

Can someone explain the joke? I don't get it. What's the punch line (that the child, and me, can 'get' and fall about laughing?)

I hated this kind of teasing as a child. I took things quite literally, rules seriously and found this kind of buffoonish behaviour from adults confusing and embarrassing.

Many adults do a similar but kinder thing where they pretend to misunderstand, or not to know simple things. That's ok because the 'joke' is on them, it makes the child feel clever. It does become similarly tedious when repeated too often.

I do understand it's usually the clumsy behaviour of people who don't know how to relate to children. I didn't always know that as a child. Or concluded they were idiots.

It's one thing in the context of a relationship (it was usually grandparents, or other people's parents, who did it) as you can work out they're nice people and mean well. I'm afraid in a one-off encounter with an authority figure, the 'I'm just an old joker, me' joke (that's the humour, right? Playing a buffoon?) doesn't work. All I'd be able to is explain 'that man is trying to be funny'. Am I a special snowflake? Or do I just not have the same personality as those who find this stuff humorous?

It took over 100 replies for CurlyHairedAssassin to say what I thought.

It's a charity shop. The worker is not a trained shop assistant and has probably had some trauma in his life to be volunteering there. He makes a clumsy attempt at banter with a 4yo which falls flat.

And the mother slates him on Mumset.

The 'humour' is not derived from the hilarity of £1 books costing £4.

The only humour is from the adults sharing a joke in laughing at ds.

In other words it is not 'oh it's so funny to pretend these books are £4' the humour is 'look, I confused a small child! Ha ha ha.'

Thing is, some parents would have 'joined forces' and sniggered at the child's confusion as evidenced here.

Coz we can't have people thinking we don't have a sense of humour! Can we?

Yep you have a different personality ( funnily enough as we are all individuals). I loved little jokes like that as a child. If my DC was momentarily confused I'd jump in and say don't worry, it's a joke. They wouldn't be concerned for more that a few seconds.

Really not funny when you're autistic and don't understand sarcasm and have enough trouble committing to social interactions without someone being 'funny'. The only person in on the joke is him and it's not bloody funny at all.

When you are getting a laugh out of someone else's confusion and potentially making them feel stupid as a result, it's bullying. Really really annoys me.

But I'd be much more sympathetic to a charity shop volunteer than a paid employee. You know that, overall, they're doing a good thing.

Realising that you can be better at some things things than some adults - and should be kind, not superior towards those adults - is an important lesson of childhood. From a certain age though.

It's taken me to adulthood to learn to respond appropriately to this stuff. (It's the same people who use lame sarcasm with adults IME). That is, usually smile and move on. Sometimes blank the remark, move on and don't give a stuff if the 'joker' concludes I don't have a sense of humour am a serious person here to get something done.

My eldest is known for taking things very litteral... hes 4. I dont think hed have seen the funny side tbh. But some prat in B&M winds him up quite regular (obviously hes seen us enough over the years to have cottoned on) and seems to do it all the more. Usually i try to avoid his till, but when i cant i tend to be prepared and have a little something up my sleeve. His face the day he told my son he wasnt old enough to buy a (U) movie... i ushered my son to one side and explained well thats not a problem cause mommy is ancient. I then proceeded to pay the £20 odd bill as slowly as possible, purposely miscalculating as i sifted the shrapnel from the bottom of my handbag. He hasnt been quite so smart since.

Do people need to have suffred a trauma to work in a charity shop?

Also not entirely sure saying you don't get why someone does something is in the same league as slating them.

I hate this. It's all about wrong-footing you and making you feel like you're stupid and thinking it's hilarious. I think it's a specifically English thing, although very occasionally I've had it in Ireland, and yes, only ever from men. Never women.

It IS a big deal. It is belittling and mocking pretending to be "banter" but it's solely designed to make the other person (usually a woman, child or a person that the "bantering" person has identified as worth belittling or taking down a peg or two) feel like they have made a stupid error.

Thoughtless to do it to a child, but hardly 'bullying' or 'control freakish' behaviour!

Perfectly reasonable to be irritated by such thoughtlessness towards your son, but rather OTT to be more than that. Kids have to learn to deal with many situations that they find confusing or don't understand.

Sometimes I wonder if we're going to end up living in a world where all humour is banned in case someone gets upset.

I should probably add my Son had a £20 note ready in his hand. I left him stood there holding it as he wasnt old enough to make to purchase. I think the cashier wouldve concidered himself lucky toward the end when i ran out of ten pences and starting handing over £1 coins.

Some people just have a weird sense of humour and if they aren't around Children much they don't realise that they don't understand. Just forget about its its not worth bothering about.

YANBU, I hate this. Makes me feel small, stupid and embarrassed when people do this. So I can't imagine how a child feels.

I have usually laughed it off when it's happened but it's left me feeling awkward for a while afterwards. It's definitely not good customer service.

At 4 all of my kids would have found this joke confusing. I've another FIL who tells similarly unfunny jokes which when my eldest takes everything literally is not exactly helpfuk. DH used to tell a similarly unfunny joke when asked if he'd locked the house at night and would answer maybe. So I'd have to check; that stopped after one too many occasions and I let him have it. These days I get a yes or no answer.

I hate jokes like this but it's interesting to see how split people are over it.

I would argue it's still a joke, even if ds isn't supposed to find it funny because it's in the 'you got me' group of jokes. It's like a practical joke. The POINT of it is to laugh at the other persons confusion. Trigger happy TV, phone jacker, impractical jokers are all built on this kind of comedy. Which is why I can't bear them and they give me anxiety.

So imho those saying he didn't mean to be mean are completely wrong. It's a piss taking joke, that's the point. Hence why only unfunny twats do it. Granted he probably didn't mean to upset a 4 year old but he WAS laughing at their expense. To me, that's mean.

"That's a thousand pounds please" would be a completely different type of joke and frankly a far more appropriate joke with a 4 year old you don't know.

YABU. No it's not funny but things like this will equip your child for dealing with situations like this through life. It's not the end of the world. Get over yourself.