Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate it when men 'joke' like this.

647 replies

KindergartenKop · 17/09/2016 19:29

Maybe it's not always men but I've never experienced a woman who has done this.

So today I took DS1 to a charity shop. He picked two books at 50p each. I gave Ds a pound coin. The man at the till took the books and said, 'That's four pounds please'. Ds looked worried and the man said 'Only joking, it's one pound'. We paid and left.
I've had people say this sort of thing to me so often and it always beffuddles me and makes me feel stupid. Am I the only person who attracts this form of idiocy? Aibu to be pissed off that this man worried my son? It's not fucking funny!

OP posts:
powershowerforanhour · 18/09/2016 11:54

Only1, do you play your practical jokes on the bosses in work, or on huge stone faced blokes with "HATE" tattooed on the knuckles of both hands? I guess you must do, if you really can't help it. I wonder if charity shop guy plays his joke on men as well as children.

balletcats · 18/09/2016 12:02

And the people who find this joke funny (bear in mind the joke, the humour, is purely derived from the confusion of a child) are the same posters hooting about the OP going to the Mail and so on.

Kr1stina · 18/09/2016 12:03

More powerful people ( men ) making fun of less powerful people ( children ) isn't really funny .

Saying " I'm ony joking " doesn't make it funny when it's not .

What if the child in the shop said " wow you are so old, can you still see well enough to read the prices ? I'm suprised you can work the electronic till "

Then said " ha ha I'm only joking "

Woudl that be funny too?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 18/09/2016 12:04

limited So you think this sort of idiotic "tricking"/ "practical jokes" is the same as a magician? Really?

There is a huge difference between making a collective audience go "wow, how was that done" by some clever sleight of hand and the inane , unasked for example targeted at one individual as on this thread.

NavyandWhite · 18/09/2016 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WalkingBlind · 18/09/2016 12:07

If your child takes things too literally it's up to you to teach them not to! Otherwise how on earth will they cope with life?

And let's forget about the large percentage of ASD children and adults who aren't coping with life because of things like this.

Also if you don't "click on" and answer literally they tend to get very agitated and stroppy IME

NavyandWhite · 18/09/2016 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

balletcats · 18/09/2016 12:10

I'd struggle.

Afterwards, I'd definitely think 'should have stepped in' but at the time i'd be similarly confused and bewildered and probably just want to get out.

Ego147 · 18/09/2016 12:15

But the mother of a child with ASD in this situation would have intervened wouldn't she

Any parent of any child could have intervened.

"Don't worry dear, the poor man was joking. He seems to think it's funny to tell a child that something that costs £1 is actually £4. "

"But we know it's only £1 because we're good at maths"

powershowerforanhour · 18/09/2016 12:17

If four is a suitable age to learn to lighten up and deal with this type of humour with a laugh and preferably some sparkling repartee, when is a suitable age for girls to learn to deal with other types of hilarious banter that they will hear from men? You know- "The word of the day is 'legs'...let's go upstairs and spread the word" "Nice arse, it'll look even better sitting on my face" and the ever amusing "Can you speak with your mouth full?"
I would have thought 17 or 18 is old enough to learn to deal with this, but perhaps we should be teaching girls of 11 or 12 to laugh it off, after all they've got to learn it's only "banter".
I realise that's different from the £4 joke in the shop, but both are social situations where the joke is that the subject feels confused, embarrassed and a little bit like shit if they can't whip out a witty rejoinder.

NavyandWhite · 18/09/2016 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NavyandWhite · 18/09/2016 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji · 18/09/2016 12:23

I'm a practical joker, can't help it always have been.

Of course you can help it.
It's just an excuse.
At least admit it's your choice to make practical jokes because you find them funny and you like to see people confused and being laughed at.

AGruffaloCrumble · 18/09/2016 12:24

I wouldn't be able to intervene on my own behalf as I'd be scared shitless. I don't pay for things with cash to avoid these kinds of things and to be honest if he told me it was £4 I would go to pay £4 as I wouldn't have the confidence to pull him up on it.

balletcats · 18/09/2016 12:24

'But they aren't £4. They are 50p. Aren't they? Maybe the assistant got muddled.'

The above would all go through my head before I clocked it was a 'joke' (Hmm) so I wouldn't calmly be able to intervene on my child's behalf.

ShatnersBassoon · 18/09/2016 12:28

It's an insignificant event really. Some bored shop assistant misjudged how much teasing a young child could handle. People say all sorts of stupid stuff to strangers and probably afterwards wonder what the hell they were thinking. I don't suppose his intention was cruel.

People tease each other. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it falls flat and leaves everyone embarrassed. I don't think it's particularly a man thing. In my experience it's something that people who don't deal well with small talk or silence do.

limitedperiodonly · 18/09/2016 12:33

limited So you think this sort of idiotic "tricking"/ "practical jokes" is the same as a magician? Really?

I think you might be taking things too literally Lass

I've said repeatedly on this thread that I find this kind of 'humour' annoying. But IMO in most cases it's ineptness, not bullying.

Someone asked why another poster would teach her child to become proficient in tricking people and I explained that in certain circumstances and as long as it's not done in malice and everyone understands - like in an illusionist's show - it's to be enjoyed, whether you want to make a career of it or just entertain people for a hobby.

Actually, my explanation wasn't as detailed as that. I hope people understood my meaning but if not, I've thrashed it out now.

Thissideof40 · 18/09/2016 12:42

I hate people like this. I'd have said to DC afterwards that some people think they're funny but they're not whilst thinking in my head "what a twat". It's not something worth dwelling on though. There are far worse things than this.

Only1scoop · 18/09/2016 12:42

I only play practical jokes on the fellow jokers in my life, not those whom would be offended, unable to join in etc.

This was just a man being a bit daft, like the Clown at a local carnival who asked my little then 4 yo if he could have her ice cream and said 'I'd better have that you won't like it'

She said 'no chance'

I find this on the same low level, four pounds is a strange figure, a million pennies would have been even sillier but understandable as a far out joke,

It really is the kind of minute that would pass by our day without a second thought.

Groaningmyrtle · 18/09/2016 12:42

Someone I vaguely knew came up to me on April Fool's day when I was much younger and poorer to say that my exhaust was falling off. It really worried me as I had zero money at the time, so would have caused me a lot of stress. She thought she was hilarious.

Maybe it upset me because I was the youngest in my family and always the subject of everyone's hysterical banter.

The worst thing is being told that you have no sense of humour even when the joke is on you. Every. Single. Time.

I don't mind clumsy humour at all, just this kind of banter gets on my nerves and I don't see why I have to find it funny.

Xocaraic · 18/09/2016 12:42

You should have said to child 'man thinks this is a joke, forgive him, he is one of those silly old men we've spoken about'
I am all for humour but not at expense (or embarrassment) of a child.

Only1scoop · 18/09/2016 12:46

Yes I have been known to play practical jokes on my bosses at work, I know them, they have wonderful humour.

Strangers or men I don't relate to with 'hate' tatoo's

Erm No

Why on earth would I?

Only1scoop · 18/09/2016 12:47

'Can't help it' taken completely literal.

Grin
Farmmummy · 18/09/2016 12:56

My DH has a bad habit of this with adults and dd1 who is 6. I've pulled him about it as I personally don't like it although he doesn't do it to me but dd is brilliant she's more than able for him now and just tells him off at her age I was hopeless, my Granda was also hellish for it.

limitedperiodonly · 18/09/2016 13:06

if he told me it was £4 I would go to pay £4 as I wouldn't have the confidence to pull him up on it.

If he took it, then that would be the point when it ceased to be a joke and became theft. Presumably most of the people who joke in this annoying way, aren't intending to con people and would say: 'No, it's really only £1. I was joking.'

Someone recently shortchanged me by £6. I brought it up and he gave me the correct change. I have no idea whether he was dishonest or mistaken. But if I had been afraid to speak up then I would have been out of pocket and either he or M&S would have benefited. I'm glad I was taught as a child that sometimes people overcharge you and when it happens it's no big deal to say: 'I think you've made a mistake.'