To think it's horse shit when people say they don't need to drive

[pleasemothermay1]

Until you need to meet up anywhere that's not on there doorstep that is

I well annoyed supposed to be meeting my friend who always says she dosent need to drive as she gets about fine

However trying to meet at at 12.45 to go swimming and the pool is to far for her to get there and back for the school run if she drove it would be a 15 minute drive I then suggested soft play near her house howeve the bus dosent run there is on a industrial estate And she would have to walk 35 minutes before she even got to the bus stop gurr

It's the same every time even if we're meeting up with out the kids in the evening unless she able to get a lift then she can't come

Out so you don't need to drive unless the place is not on yur frigging door step gurr rant over I can understand if you live in London but we live in the sticks

I can't drive, failed 4 tests, and can't afford to at the moment, why don't you be a good friend and meet somewhere she can get to! Not everyone can ir wants to drive, illness, disability, mental health issues, no desire. I could understand if she was always asking for lifts, I get a cab or bus.

Really tgere are too many cars on the road, judging by some driving, some should be on the road!

Interesting thread, so mainly place marking

Pet hate though is those people I know that insist they've never needed a car but seem to go nowhere unless it's someone else giving them a lift, swear they only keep the friends that have cars lol, 'oh you couldn't nip me to the shop could you?' its starts off like that, and end up eventually being, 'we've booked a holiday in Bath is there anyway you could take us? we've sorted out a lift for the day we come back'. Answer was no lol

Meant some should not be on the road!

I'm from rural Australia originally and learnt to drive at 10 on the farm, on the roads at 16. A few people had to have a few goes, but I can't recall anyone in my year not getting their licence (unless they had a medical reason not to). However that being said, I wouldn't like to learn to drive in the southeast of the U.K., the traffic here is a bit bonkers!

I had a friend who didn't drive who would ring me up asking if I needed to go to the supermarket. What she meant was she needed to do a shop and could I drive her.

I'm from rural Australia originally and learnt to drive at 10 on the farm, on the roads at 16. A few people had to have a few goes, but I can't recall anyone in my year not getting their licence (unless they had a medical reason not to). However that being said, I wouldn't like to learn to drive in the southeast of the U.K., the traffic here is a bit bonkers!

Ugh. Posted twice

A lot of carfree people plan their lives to make carfree living convenient; sounds like OP's friend hasn't planned very well. One suspects she wouldn't plan her needs a lot better if she did have a car, tbh, and OP would find something else to bitch about.

That phrase 'overwhelmed by public transport' is a good one.

To go alongside morningpaper's points about elderly women who can't drive and are isolated, there are also people who suddenly lose their cars and become equally disoriented by their inability to cope with this. My granny would have struggled hugely to get a bus. She could manage those things she'd done regularly for years, but she couldn't adapt to anything new. She wasn't legally allowed to drive any more.

If she had been more used to public transport, she might have managed much better, and been less isolated. So it does cut both ways, I think.

Even though my parents are really not elderly and perfectly compos mentis (though I worry about my dad) it is painful to see how stressed they are by very simple things like figuring out which bus to get from the train station to my house.

Maybe you need a new friend she clearly annoys you why are you pals with somebody you dont seem to like that much? I dont drive i dont even live i London but manage to get about fine sometimes friends give me a lift and not start a rant on mumsnet about how inconvenient i am to them.

I used to live in London and rarely used my car. But then the transport system is brilliant. We got the tube and train everywhere.

YABU and a little insensitive. I can't drive for medical reasons and find it difficult when people go on about what a pain non-drivers are. It adds insult to injury too when I point this out and get the 'not you, you can't help it' response. Great, so I can't help being useless!

For the most part I arrange my life so that it isn't an issue and it is very rare that I have to ask for/accept a lift. But a part of me always feels a bit humiliated when I do have to do this and attitudes like the one in the OP are part of the reason.

YABU. Whether she chooses to drive or not isn't your business. Its her choice. If you want to meet up, pick somewhere mutually convenient.

I didn't drive until I was 25 and I never needed to. But as soon as I learned, we were able to buy a house in a village and not a city and I can commute to work without having to need to leave an hour early. And DD wouldn't be at her current school unless I had a car to get her there and back.

So many elderly women looking after their spouses and unable to leave the house because they can't drive.
But a lot of elderly people can't drive any more even if they used to be able to. So wouldn't access to decent public transport & the knowledge of how to use it be more help?

Having the freedom a car brings is wonderful.

Having the freedom from the paperwork to tax/insure a car is wonderful. Having the freedom from having to budget for same is also wonderful. From unexpected maintenance bills too. From being concerned that the car might not get me to where I need to be. From paying for parking at my house (I live in a residents parking area so have to pay to park on my street) and wherever I go.

I believe we need fewer cars on the roads. I get that there are lots of people for whom a car is necessary. But I would love to see the day when people bough a car for those identifiable good reasons, rather than it just being an assumption that you would own a car. If more people used buses/trains/bikes, the infrastructure would have to improve and there would be fewer cars on the road / less competition for parking, which would make life easier for those that did still need cars.

And yes, LRD. My mum (mid 60s) recently had surgery on her hand which meant she couldn't drive for a while. She found it a challenge to work out the buses, but now she has, she chooses to use them rather than her car for some things. I'm glad she has figured it out now.

Nobody needs to go to soft play on an industrial estate.

Me too armadillo - I've never been able to have a provisional license on (invisible) medical grounds so learning to drive has never been an option. TBH it can be a real pain when I have to rely on DH to take me to the garden centre etc and when the DC had activities before school in places that a a real schlep from a bus stop. It also means we have to live in the smoke rather than the middle of nowhere, which I would prefer.

OP I am lucky that I have lovely friends, who unlike you, are prepared to think about me when they organise events - so a meet up in the evening will usually be fairly close to a tube station on my local line, someone will offer to take one of my dc to a party at a way out venue - I might reciprocate by having their child for a play date to give them a free morning at the weekend or for a day if they are working over the holidays. So I manage perfectly well because life is all about compromises and give and take. I'm sure this friend is a lovely person, otherwise you wouldn't spend time with her, so next time ask what suits her your dc will no doubt be just as happy with a run about in a park local to her home.

My mid60s parents don't drive they get about fine even to airports and locally they are more than capable of getting about. My uncle has to restrict his driving due to eyesight and he is really feeling it which is a shame he is lost without his car so being able to drive or not has its dis/advantages. I am 1 of the non drivers that is accepted (on mumsnet) threads like these smart a bit makes me feel a bit useless

Though it is freedom to go where you want, when, it is still a tie, Tax, insurance, MOT, Service, repairs, it can cost thousands. What happens if your car breaks down?

I dont drive, have kids AND live very rurally My life must be so limited compared to the blessed car drivers! People are ridiculous. I get this whole "omg, you have to WALK everywhere?? How AWFUL" attitude all the time, and its utterly ridiculous. I have legs, I use them. I walk a 40 min rural lane route to DDs school in the morning and then another hour through woods to the nearest town for DS to go to nursery. I love it! I love being outdoors and seeing all the changes in nature as the seasons roll by. Its amazing exercise, kids are both super fit and have great fun collecting sticks and blackberries on the way to school. In summer we go and paddle in the stream after school and in Spring the farmer down the road lets us in to see all the baby animals just born. We can bus into town when needed and I can do shopping online for everything else. Grow lots of our own food and have a compost heap, DP is a carpenter so we dont touch the likes of Ikea with a bargepole! He does drive but works a lot so DC and I rarely use the car. I dont tend to accept lifts unless in an emergency but then only if offered, I can call a cab/ambulance in real emergency situations.

Its certainly not ridiculous, its a valid choice. I think people have become an awful lot lazier than a few generations ago, the concept of routinely walking several miles is alien to a lot of people.

As for bad weather I agree with the pp who said that humans dont melt in the rain! I have umberellas and waterproofs for the DC. I often get a bit soggy, mostly due to wearing long flappy non waterproof coats but its fine, I get home and dry off and windswept crazy hair kind of goes with my image so thats all good.

I may learn to drive some day, but for financial reasons it wont be a day soon. Im happy with that.

I live in a small village about 12 miles away from a big town (oop North)
The nearest shops (pretty basic but you wouldn't starve), the doctors and the primary school are about a mile away. My nearest supermarket 3 miles (and they DON'T DELIVER), a small shopping precinct 4 miles.

There used to be an hourly bus service at the end of the lane that passed through the next village, went within about 600 yards of the supermarket, and into the big town. That has now been stopped (lack of use, often empty & possibly only 2/3 people using it regularly). There are few taxis - most don't want to come out into the sticks (and will add on a premium for being "out of the area").

I do have a car, I would never have contemplated moving here without one. But when its out of action for one reason or another, it makes you realise how isolating it can be. I will have to move back to civilisation if I ever have to give up driving.

1 parent of dds friend used to feel sorry for my her as a midteen because she got on the bus to go to town or whereever she would offer to swing by and pick her up

I think you're definitely being a bit unreasonable and it sounds more like you've got a problem with a lazy friend what with a non-driver.

Me and DH don't drive. We live just outside a smaller city so use public transport to get around. Both walk or get the bus to work. Supermarket is about 15 minutes walk away (or a 5 minute bus journey) and if we're doing a 'big shop' we can have it delivered. Train station about half an hour walk away if we want to visit another city.

It's a financial decision for us. I spend about a quarter of what my friends who drive spend per month on transport - when you add up the cost of buying a car, car tax, insurance, petrol, servicing the car, car park charges etc, it's far far more cost effective for me to use public transport and the occasional taxi.

I also quite like the fact that I'll happily walk to my local shop (less than 5 minutes walking time, there and back) whereas a friend visited the other day and insisted on driving when I said I needed to pop to the shop for some milk

Shadows,
I love being surrounded by fields and there's a wood I can walk in that is full of bluebells in late spring; a small lake with herons, grebes etc. I wouldn't swap it.
But lack of transport can be very limiting sometimes, especially if you find you need something that's not an everyday staple, like a new screwdriver, or an exotic ingredient for a recipe.