DS emptying DD's bin?

[bloomburger]

DS's job is to empty the bins in the house the day before rubbish collection day. He has just told me that DH said he is not to empty DD's bin as it has sanitary towels in it. They are in bloody plastic sanitary towel bags so aren't smelly and aren't going to leap out and bite him or rub blood off onto him for cripes sake!

AIBU to tell DH and DS that he can bloody well empty the bin and carry on doing so each week regardless of its contents?

Hopefully at one stage in his life he will have a wife and I can't imagine her falling for his not being able to empty the bathroom bin because it may have used sanitary (adequately covered) protection in it.

Find him another job to do for his pocket money...I think yr husband has a point,but it came across wrong...her bathroom,her bin,she empties it...when my dd is on ,the bin gets emptied every day..even with just tanpax wrappers in the purple bags...it's simple hygiene ....but periods are normal and part of being a woman,so when yr ds has dw in yrs to come,I'm sure he will be fine emptying the bin.as you've done a great job educating him.

I feel I am saving DH and FS from growing up like that!
I'm with you on that one, people aren't born thinking they have to hide their period or be disgusted by menstrual blood, they're taught. It's not something I'll be teaching my children!
I don't see why he shouldn't empty the bin, although the picking through for recycling is manky and I'd use another receptacle

That's disgusting and YABU.
Bin liners are needed - I would refuse to do it otherwise. In fact, I'd refuse to be the only one with such a disgusting job - everyone should take it in turns to do bins , or just empty your own bins seeing as you don't have a communal bathroom bin.

I empty the bin in the family bathroom, DD and DS empty their own bedroom bin.
I don't use the bedroom or bathroom bin for my sanitary stuff, I stick it (wrapped) in my pocket and put it in the kitchen waste.
My DD doesn't really want her father or teenage brother to know when she is menstruating. She is not embarrassed and no- one thinks it's rank, just we are a family who like to protect our personal space.
I wouldn't defacate while OH is in the bathroom, for instance, I don't want to watch while he trims his toenails, or clear up the clippings.
Just teh way we work.

I love these threads

how many women - after giving birth, held and kissed their baby - covered in gunk - from your fanny

yet they get hysterical over a bit of period blood wrapped up IN A BAG

I know. Bonkers but amusing

"how many women - after giving birth, held and kissed their baby - covered in gunk - from your fanny" - one's own fanny. That's the thing!

so the dads didn't hold them until they had been dipped in bleach?

Not all of us have given birth... and why are some posters confusing the desire for privacy with women being grossed out by periods? Most posters have said they have no issue with periods, but prefer not to share their bodily functions with their entire family.

That might be odd, but no odder than being happy to change sanpro/have a shit etc in front of other people. They are all natural functions but that doesn't mean people aren't entitled to a little privacy without being mocked for living in the 1950s!

In fact the tone is very belittling - 'Yea, look at the silly women - how dare they want a little bit of privacy? That's so weird!!'

Livia- well said.

but the daughter doesn't CARE why belittle her choices - she's not bothered

Thank you!

Apparently it's difficult to understand that wanting personal space doesn't make someone a prude. I'm anything but a prude - but generally speaking if it's something that you do in the bathroom then it's not unreasonable to want privacy, whether that be having a shit, changing sanpro or having a shower. I know this is an odd concept on MN but bathrooms usually have locks on the door, so it's not beyond the realms of imagination that other people feel the same!

But she is still embarrassed to carry the purple bags through the house!

She doesn't care either way about her brother emptying the bin, so that's not belittling her choice, she doesn't feel strongly enough to make one!

Give her a 'Sani' bin of her own, it's a private time in a young girls life, cant she take care of it herself?
I lived with 3 girls at one point, one of them used to leave her Sani towels open on top of the waste where everyone could see them, yuck! Her mother obviously was too lazy to teach her what to do with them after use!
Put them in a bag and tie the top up.
There will be no privacy for anything in the end, the way some of you are carrying on, stop being selfish and think of others, not everyone wants everything thrust into their faces.

We have a small pedal bin in the loo with a nappy sack as the liner. Gets emptied regularly but myself or DD when on period. I wouldn't personally expect DS or DP to do that, they don't use the bin.
Totally open about periods etc here, but there's no way it's reasonable for a teenage boy (or anyone else really) to have to separate sanpro that can be up to a week old from recycling. Gross. And unnecessary.

Periods aren't dirty or shameful but week old used tampons/pads are dirty.
My work everyday involves lots of blood and bodily fluids and so I'm very used to seeing it and dealing with them but would always treat bodily fluids as hazardous and would certainly not rifle through a bin containing used tampons!
Its fine for your ds to empty a bin containing sanpro, but I would expect there to be a bin liner. Its not fine for him to have to pick things out of a bin containing it. Why cant you just put recyclables next to the bin?
I also think that your DD should be dealing with her own bathroom bin in general, if she has her own bathroom she should deal with the cleaning of it.

Both not good as DD has her own bathroom and doesnt empty her own bin and she also wont walk thru the house with her own pads.

DS empties week old bin bare handed with no liner to pick items or recycling out but only does it as he is paid!

Clean your effing rooms and bins, BOTH of you, no money for doing it is how I'd deal.

By and large I am with you bloom burger. The details about the recycling are that. ..details. Frankly I don't mind how people organise their recycling, as long as they recycle. By all means let your son wear rubber gloves for the whole rubbish task but honestly in my book hand washing is becoming a long lost art and should taught as a skill and encouraged. In my family home my father was early Victorian but happily my mother and I happily ignored him between ourselves and just avoided offending the silly old codger. In my current family home we pretty much look out for each other in an open minded way where I don't remember ever having to discuss the disposal of San pro, girls wrapped it nicely the bathroom or loo bins which had liners and like the kitchen bin were emptied daily. Recycle accumulated in a carrier bag hanging on a hook in the bathroom to be transferred to main recycle bin when full. There must be a million ways of organising rubbish and San pro and recycle. What ever suits you is fine with me. I think I would ask dh why he suggested dd empty her own bin before biting his head off. He may have been well intentioned. Also asking ds and dd might be worthwhile.
I applaud your attempts to avoid early Victorian attitudes creeping into your family.

"I applaud your attempts to avoid early Victorian attitudes creeping into your family."

Nothing to do with Victorian attitudes. the bin in my bathroom is specifically for sanitary products. It;s small, always has a bin liner and each used item is individually wrapped. It's emptied every day at times it;s being used.
It's too small for other items of waste, shampoo bottles etc so these are taken down separately/
I wouldn't expect my OH or DS to empty it, they don't use it,
It's a personal thing.
This is not being prudish or Victorian. Like livia we have personal space in our family and that is respected. There are many things I don't do in front of another family member.
My mother over- shared. She had very heavy periods and would call our father and my sister through to the toilet to see the clots she had passed before flushing. I found that inappropriate. Not something I wanted to see.
Although my kids stuck to me like limpets when they were young, saw plenty used sanitary towels of mine asked, lots of question which I was happy to reply to, and by the age of 5 were totally nun plussed about the idea of menstruation and menstrual blood.
As they grew they too developed a healthy respect for their own personal space however.

Privacy within a relationship or marriage is not Victorian.
OH and I have a very colourful sex life but I prefer not to watch him shit.
We don't wander around the house naked ( we have teenagers)
I don't floss my teeth in front of him- who wants to watch someone mine bits of of apple skin out from between their teeth? I would find it gross if my OH was sitting picking bits of dead skin off his feet white we sat chatting.

We don't pee in front of each other, I don't really want to watch his stinking steaming thunderblast.
I pluck my eyebrows in private
I squeeze blackheads in private
I shave my legs in private
I dye my roots in private
I dig earwax out in private
I cut my toenails in private
I change my sanpro in private
I shit in private

If I am alone then fine.

Sounds a bit yuck. I would ask that recycling is put in a separate bin or straight in the recycling box. We have a recycle bin in our kitchen.

So he has to pick rubbish out of the bin which also has sanitary pads in :/ i think dd should empty her own bin, hes still emptying all the others for his pocket money and would take dd a few minutes to do her own. I wouldnt make my ds pick around in the bins with my dirty sanitary products in there :/

ghostyslovesheep re "so the dads didn't hold them until they had been dipped in bleach?" I doubt anyone was dipping anyone in bleach but maybe dad did wait until baby was wiped, who knows, who cares!

The point is a boy should not have to clear out a bin of sanitary items. It has nothing at all to do with a man or women (adults) having a baby!

Agree with Livia and user1471552005, privacy is not prudery, and calling women, or men, prudes is such a lazy way of complaining when people want privacy (not directing that comment to anyone, just saying.....)

The point is a boy should not have to clear out a bin of sanitary items.

But why?

TotallyOuting because it is not very nice to have to clean up after other people's bodily functions. We do it as adults but we do not expect our children to do it. We may well expect them to clean up after themselves but not after their siblings in this way. The idea this mum thinks it is OK seems to me to show a lack of respect for both of the kids, IMHO.