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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let her strop about it and not share

182 replies

porridge90 · 15/09/2016 07:45

Bit of a ridiculous one but I'm not sure if I'm being unnecessarily cruel. My dd is 2.3 and she LOVES juice. I know I will be flamed for it but I cannot get her to drink water so she has squash. (Yes I make sure I brush her teeth etc and she never has it in bed). The problem I have is that she guzzles it. If you give her a cup with it in she will down the whole thing in seconds and still ask for more. She would just drink all day if I let her.

I have to be strict as she can fill herself up on juice and then refuse to eat, eating is already a bit of an issue with her being really fussy.

Now, whenever I have a drink she has started throwing a massive fit that she wants it, even if she has just finished hers.

Am I being cruel to just let her cry about it? I don't want her thinking she can always just take my food and drink and I can't just time our drinks together, as she will just drink hers really fast and scream for mine. Part of the problem I guess is that I too don't really like water so I drink juice and that's why she wants it. Is it part of being a parent that I have to hide when eating/drinking? Or that I can only drink things she doesn't like so I don't have to share?

I sound like a 2 year old myself I know with this issue, but it is really starting to annoy me...

OP posts:
humblesims · 15/09/2016 08:10

Sounds a bit like the terrible two's. For the first issue I would suggest she can have juice for the first drink but water after that. As for the sharing thing...not sure what i would do. why cant she have a drink when you have a drink?

WipsGlitter · 15/09/2016 08:11

Have you seen anyone about her excessive thirst?

WipsGlitter · 15/09/2016 08:12

Have you seen anyone about her excessive thirst?

RJnomore1 · 15/09/2016 08:12

Let her strop. It's a life lesson. Font give in or hide! She will be at nursery soon and she needs to learn she can't have everything other people have or take drinks off other children.

It's fun having a toddler isn't it!

RJnomore1 · 15/09/2016 08:13

Good point wips

alafolie29 · 15/09/2016 08:14

I don't really understand why you would deny her a drink? I get you don't want her to have loads of squash but if you've let her drink that in preference of water then I don't see how you have much choice.

However I would also start drinking water (or clear flavoured water if you must) in an attempt to get her to drink it too. Presumably when she starts school she will have to drink water... I think if she saw you drinking it she would be more inclined to have it.

Wolfiefan · 15/09/2016 08:15

I wouldn't drink it or buy it. If you both drink water it will be better for you both. Or only have it at meals? Mine prefer iced water!

Original poster
porridge90 · 15/09/2016 08:17

No I haven't per se but it's been mentioned in an off hand way to HV. I don't feel like she's excessively thirsty, it seems to be more that it's like how some kids always want snacks. She wants a drink rather than needs one. I could be wrong of course but that's how it seems to me. I think it's like a life lesson too, you can't always just have everything just because someone else is having it, and she certainly isn't going without.

Humble, she can! But she downs hers and then wants mine, purely because it's mine not because she's still thirsty.

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 15/09/2016 08:17

She's 2 not 5, bit harsh not to share your drink.

FlibbertigibbetArmadillo · 15/09/2016 08:18

Is it the mix it yourself squash? Could you slowly reduce the ratio untill she is just drinking water?

Original poster
porridge90 · 15/09/2016 08:18

Alafolie29 I'm not denying her a drink because it's squash (although obviously I am conscious of it) I'm denying her MY drink.

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 15/09/2016 08:21

It's the screaming for yours that's the problem isn't it? And that is so tiresome!

Can you offer her a drink and tell her that if she guzzles it she can only have water after? If she refuses the water she's probably not genuinely thirsty, just likes the taste. That way you're not "denying her a drink", but not giving in to the tantrum either.

And yes, she needs to learn that she can't just have what is someone else's.

ShiroiKoibito · 15/09/2016 08:21

it's a bit harsh for someone to see you have something that you don't allow them to have?

I think you need to drink water, if you want her to follow your example and have your juice/squash when she is on bed

Squeegle · 15/09/2016 08:21

What are you drinking? Can't you drink water? And then she will either have it, or not want it! Squash isn't very good anyhow, can't you give her real juice?

Lweji · 15/09/2016 08:22

Don't give in to the tantrum. She will give up. Ignore it.

Squeegle · 15/09/2016 08:22

I do think it's a bit mean if you are drinking squad in front of her - something she craves! It's like teasing her

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood · 15/09/2016 08:23

I let DD have a bit of mine sometimes - but not always. I also tell her she can only have mine when she's finished hers (which usually results in me getting all of mine because she can't physically drink all of hers). It's really annoying to have your drink removed from you repeatedly.

Let her strop a bit. She has her own. It'll help her learn not to remove drinks etc from other children just because she wants them too :)

Original poster
porridge90 · 15/09/2016 08:27

I don't deny her a drink and then pour myself a big glass of squash and stand smirking over her drinking it! I will only get a drink if she has also got one, but she finishes hers in one go really quickly, whereas I might have a bit and then still have some in the glass, which she then wants.

I totally agree we should both be drinking water, I'm just a bit crap at enforcing stuff like that. Same with her eating, I go through phases of trying to make her eat what we eat and not pandering to the fussiness, but then give in when she literally eats nothing.

OP posts:
RedAmberGreen1 · 15/09/2016 08:28

This might be a little underhand, but lime cordial/squash is clear and looks like water. If you were to drink that, while she has the coloured squash, would she think you were drinking water?

I realise it doesn't address the underlying issue, but it might cut down on the screaming...

Helloitsme90 · 15/09/2016 08:28

Just give her the juice- but make it a weak version. My nephew was like this also and used to fill his nappies.
I had to slowly wean myself onto water as I used to have really strong squash but slowly over time I made it weaker and now I find the taste of squash, strange. She probably enjoys the sugar in it so just water it down a lot

Original poster
porridge90 · 15/09/2016 08:29

Good plan RedAmber but like cordial also tastes like sadness 😩

OP posts:
Original poster
porridge90 · 15/09/2016 08:30

The amount she drinks is insane, I have to change her nappy pretty much every hour at least. It makes potty training seem even more terrifying.

OP posts:
Proginoskes · 15/09/2016 08:30

I think grownups can and should drink drinks that are for whatever reason or another not for children (i.e. caffeinated coffee, squash, fizzy soda) in front of them, provided they offer a child-appropriate drink alongside for DC. If DD has already had her one glass of squash, remind her she's had her squash for the day and offer her water or maybe milk. If she's thirsty, she'll drink it, if she just wants to insist that what's yours is hers, then hold fast. I know it's rough. My kids used to want my coffee drinks SO BAD as they thought they were fancy hot choc.

And as far as modeling goes, my DC are now 15 and 17 and will look right past fizzy soda in the refrig to get a glass of milk or some fruit-infused water (put some slices in a pitcher of water, keep in fridge). I just told them it didn't matter what mama and dad were drinking, these are the drinks that are available to them, and they chose from those.

RedAmberGreen1 · 15/09/2016 08:30

Elderflower cordial stuff?

/clutching at straws

Original poster
porridge90 · 15/09/2016 08:32

Proginoskes, can you come here and be resident parent please? Ill even make you the coffee. I'm CRAP at being strict with stuff like this, I'm so inconsistent.

OP posts:
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