To let her strop about it and not share

[porridge90]

Bit of a ridiculous one but I'm not sure if I'm being unnecessarily cruel. My dd is 2.3 and she LOVES juice. I know I will be flamed for it but I cannot get her to drink water so she has squash. (Yes I make sure I brush her teeth etc and she never has it in bed). The problem I have is that she guzzles it. If you give her a cup with it in she will down the whole thing in seconds and still ask for more. She would just drink all day if I let her.

I have to be strict as she can fill herself up on juice and then refuse to eat, eating is already a bit of an issue with her being really fussy.

Now, whenever I have a drink she has started throwing a massive fit that she wants it, even if she has just finished hers.

Am I being cruel to just let her cry about it? I don't want her thinking she can always just take my food and drink and I can't just time our drinks together, as she will just drink hers really fast and scream for mine. Part of the problem I guess is that I too don't really like water so I drink juice and that's why she wants it. Is it part of being a parent that I have to hide when eating/drinking? Or that I can only drink things she doesn't like so I don't have to share?

I sound like a 2 year old myself I know with this issue, but it is really starting to annoy me...

My DD is the same. She had nothing but milk or water until she was 2. Now, she has whatever I have. When she first tried squash she wanted it all the time and would guzzle it. Her nappies were huge. It isn't a big novelty now so she often asks for milk or water instead. I'm drinking a lot of OJ at the moment (pregnant and currently obsessed with juice) and, if I'm not discrete, she'll want it too. I don't even water it down. We were at a pub lunch a few weeks ago and shared my gasp lemonade. She always wants some of whatever I have - unless what I have is remotely healthy - and I let her because she's 2. Oooh I even let her try my Becks Blue (ie non-alcoholic). It isn't a popular opinion but squash and fruit juice wasn't rationed when I was little. I've never been overweight or had any fillings. We were/are big on dental care, healthy meals and exercise so I don't see the problem with juice. Or chocolate. Or popcorn. Or sodding raisins! Leave my raisins alone.

I don't think it's excessive thirst OP, I think it is a natural toddler greed when discovering something new and tasty. When my DD is a bit older we'll work on "mine" and "yours" but right now what's mine is hers shrug

She's drinking squash RiverTam. Sorry, she calls it juice.

If her wee is pale straw-coloured to yellow, it's likely not a problem (although always ask the GP or Paed if not sure). My DNiece is type 1 diabetic, she's five now but diagnosed at three. One of her symptoms was a huge thirst but it was an indiscriminate thirst if you see what I mean - it wasn't that she'd see a drink and want it, more that she'd be playing and suddenly be thirsty and NEED whatever liquid she could get her mama to give her. She drank a lot, a LOT of water every day as well as juices and milk and her wees were completely clear.

Good god at the people who say the OP is "being mean"! Of course she isn't. She's teaching her DD and important life lesson..... OP stick to your guns!

Right, this may not work, but it could be worth a try.

Why don't you mix a little food colouring into water for her. Apparently, we tend to rely partly on colours for cues as to what food and drinks will taste like. We assume an orange coloured drink will taste of oranges, red of berries, and so on.

If you use a titchy bit of orange coloured food colouring paste, you could make up a jug of "orange" for her, and see how it goes.

(I have never tried this, myself.)

I would also keep a bit of a diary on his much she drinks, and possibly speak to your GP if the pattern continues. There could be a medical problem.

Honestly I'd get the fact that she's drinking so much just to be on the safe side OP,it could be nothing but it's best to get it checked there's not just diabetes she could have a bad throat or there could be something else going on.
Having to change her nappy every hour is alot,I have 5DC and I can't remember having to change any of them that much.

Your not wrong to refuse your DD your drink of course your not if she's just had her own.

With the squash like others have suggested I'd start adding less squash do it gradually and she won't notice.

Also being as your DD is drinking it so fast start trying to give her less each time.One of those cups that look like they've already got some fluid in the bottom might help as well because she'll think there's more in there than there actually is when she looks at it.

19lottie82 the op's daughter is only just 2 though, I think there's plenty of time to teach life lessons that will cause less upset when she is a about older and isn't so overwhelmed by her emotions.

I will only get a drink if she has also got one, but she finishes hers in one go really quickly, whereas I might have a bit and then still have some in the glass, which she then wants

Then you should say to her "you've had yours, this is mine but you can have water if you are still thirsty"

Check with the Dr but I think if she was really thirsty she would drink the water. And agree about gradually adding less squash.

Her wee is pretty much clear. I'm going to go cold turkey on the squash I think, knowing my DD she will likely throw more of a fit if she thinks I'm rationing it. Water it is! I'm going to give it a few days and see if she is still wanting to drink as much. If so, il take her to the docs.

YY to lottie! There is no reason the OP Mum has to drink the exact same thing her DD is drinking, or hide when she drinks squash or . These are just drinks that children should not have much of, in the case of squash, or that DD may not drink until she's a grownup lady, in the case of the wine. She's going to have to get over seeing people with things she can't have and it's perfectly fair and right and healthy that it begins at home (provided, of course, that the parent doesn't get in the DC face singing the 'neener neener I have squash and you don't' song which I'm pretty sure the OP won't be doing ). OP, have your squash or wine or coffee or fizzy, offer your DD a couple of drink choices, and you're good. She'll probably strop for a while, but there will come the point at which she either decides she's actually thirsty and will, however grudgingly, accept milk or water or she'll decide she's not thirsty and she's got a wall to colour on or something and toodle off for the next bit of mischief.

I am with the check diabetes (We are talking Type 1 here) but also try her with filtered water. As adults we don't notice it so much but often tap water has chemicals which toddlers etc taste as v strong and its not particularly nice.

Other than that they can be a pain at that age, communication not at its highest and the desire for everything...

Hi Porridge90,

My daughter is 2.10 years old and also drinks a lot. She drinks from similar sized bottles to your picture and also has a thing for squash. For her, I believe it is a comfort thing. I do make it very weak so I'm not really concerned about her drinking squash. She also has a thing for milk.

As for the stropping off, maybe try a distraction. I know when I gave my daughter a proper cup for the first time and made a big deal over it she loved it. I also only put water in it, partly to wean and partly to prevent sticky spilt juice on her, floor, sofa etc. Good luck.

Decide how much squash she should drink in a day. Give her that much spaced out through daytime. Give her water in between.

She strips at your drink? Give her water. That way you aren't refusing her a drink, which would feel very wrong to me!

I'd also suggest that you drink your squash in a mug :)

Or an opaque water bottle ... And lie about what you are drinking

Sounds like you're passing on your own dislike of water, which will cause her problems at nursery and school (not to mention the potential health issues).

By giving her a variety of drinks through the day, and some err, deception about what you are drinking (!), you'll get her into more healthy habits.

Slightly counter intuitively, can you try more variety of drinks in order to get her drinking more healthily?

It gets get away from thinking that the only choices are:
squash = yummy
water = bad...

So, offer diluted fruit juices, milk, toddler friendly smoothies etc., healthier squashes (? High juice content ones? Or those toddler ones?)... even a range of different squash flavours might be helpful.

And 'making' her own juices from fruit, like squeezing an orange (doesn't matter if you only get a few sips in the end, it's the fun of it that counts!). Making ice lollies is good too, with fruit juice, or dilute squash, and bits of real fruit in it, or milk based ones .... all to get her used to different drink tastes.

The other thing that tends to go down well are ice cubes. DS would do anything for an ice cube at that age, when he'd turn up his nose at water.

Maybe you could make a big fuss out of making a 'grown up drink', as a special 'treat'? Water with some ice cubes (we make ice shaped as hearts, so very appealing to small beings!), and a fancy straw? You can add gin to yours surreptitiously

Adding lumps/slices of fruit goes down well too, to take the edge of the water as well as the look of it. You can either do the single slice type of idea, or add lots of chunks. A jug full of fruity water in the fridge could be made very exciting!

If ice cubes might be a choke risk then you could try crushed ice? You could make healthy slushies for you both?

And then only offer squash at certain times of the day, and make it a routine to offer milk/ water with meals etc. You'll get some tantrums when you change the rules, but if you stick to it the tantrums will go...

They're super clever little things, and from what you've said, I'm pretty sure she knows all she has to do is cry and you'll cave in!

Good tips Miscellaneous!

You really need to take her to the doctor to put your mind at rest if nothing else, but excessive thirst is the number one sign for diabetes, it can be fatal and is not something to be messed about with, I'm sorry if I sound like a scaremonger but my sons little friend was extremely poorly before being diagnosed, excessive thirst was the main sign.

Sorry op, but I agree with others here that you need to be consistent with her eating and drinking, and set an example by drinking water.

At school only water will be on offer, and it is not good for her to have the high level of sugar/sweetener she must be consuming in all this squash. I would try to water it down till you are on water, as she is used to it now.

I had a juice fiend, he was constant. Now its small juice with breakfast and tea. We went to the shops and he chose his own water bottle one with the frozen bit in the middle. Water the rest of the day as much as he wants. He had s few moments at first busy soon got over it. I also found that doing cheers really helped encourage him. It also got him in a good routine for school where they are only allowed water.

My DD was a bit like this. But - do you know what? I just let her have the squash. Not hugely strong and the no added sugar stuff. Yes - water is better and there are artificial things in there, but I firmly believe that the most important thing is to be well hydrated. I had a friend who stuck to the "water only" mantra with her DD and she has had all sorts of problems over the years because the child simply will not drink enough. She's had urinary infections and all sorts. School is a natural breaking point because them they can only have milk or water and, at least in the case of my DD, she's grown out of it now. She loves an apple juice or a lemonade as a treat, but will drink a lot of water during the day at school out of choice. I'm going to go against the grain and say don't worry too much about it.

I think you've got the right idea OP.
My 2 year old wouldn't understand or tolerate rationing either and it would just lead to constant tantrums.
I never buy squash for the house but occasionally buy fruit shoots if we have people coming over and he will drain one in about 10 seconds and demand another one whereas he will usually leave a glass of water or milk unfinished.
I'm sure the nappies are a result of how. Much fluid she is taking in so it sounds like cold turkey is the way to go and personally I think you should do it too- don't buy squash and then you don't have it there in a moment of weakness.
I tend to drink sparkling water in the house and my kids love that too because it's fizzy but it doesn't have the sugar in it. There have been lots of suggestions for nice alternatives here.
Stay strong- you'll be glad you did.

If DS ever wants anything of mine, I tell him he can have a little bit, then that's his lot. And that's what we do, he usually accepts it. He's 22 months.

The diabetes thing develops over a matter of weeks according to nhs direct, my dd has loved drink for as long as I can remember! I will take her to the docs in a couple of days of she is still wanting to drink so much once she gets over that she is no longer having squash.

...plus - I don't think doctors are anywhere near as hung up on "only water" as people are on MN. I had some gastric problems a few years back and was encouraged to drink a huge amount of fluid, but the gastroenterologist was very clear that that meant almost anything except espresso coffee - water, squash, tea, herbal tea, instant coffee etc were all fine. Obviously pure water is the healthiest option, but I think most doctors would say better to drink a lot of squash and be well hydrated than not drink enough plain water.

I don't think you're being mean at all. Also if a child is genuinely thirsty they will drink water. Maybe give her juice at certain times and make sure there's always water available in between?

If I were you, just to be sure, I would take her to the GP asap, as not only do you have the possibly excessive thirst as a sign there's something wrong, there is also the clear urine, which I gather is not a healthy look..

We had a similar thing when our son was around 2-3, he always had his juice cup and would drink it all day long. We asked the HV as we were concerned he was drinking too much and she said it seemed like a habit he'd gotten into, rather than a genuine thirst.
We stopped filling the big cup everyday and having it available all the time to just giving him small drinks throughout the day.
He soon adjusted and it made potty training so much easier.