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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let her strop about it and not share

182 replies

porridge90 · 15/09/2016 07:45

Bit of a ridiculous one but I'm not sure if I'm being unnecessarily cruel. My dd is 2.3 and she LOVES juice. I know I will be flamed for it but I cannot get her to drink water so she has squash. (Yes I make sure I brush her teeth etc and she never has it in bed). The problem I have is that she guzzles it. If you give her a cup with it in she will down the whole thing in seconds and still ask for more. She would just drink all day if I let her.

I have to be strict as she can fill herself up on juice and then refuse to eat, eating is already a bit of an issue with her being really fussy.

Now, whenever I have a drink she has started throwing a massive fit that she wants it, even if she has just finished hers.

Am I being cruel to just let her cry about it? I don't want her thinking she can always just take my food and drink and I can't just time our drinks together, as she will just drink hers really fast and scream for mine. Part of the problem I guess is that I too don't really like water so I drink juice and that's why she wants it. Is it part of being a parent that I have to hide when eating/drinking? Or that I can only drink things she doesn't like so I don't have to share?

I sound like a 2 year old myself I know with this issue, but it is really starting to annoy me...

OP posts:
TheOnlyColditz · 15/09/2016 14:28

Honestly, I would make gets progressively weaker and get her onto water or you'll have one of Those kids who faints with dehydration at school because they won't drink water and squash isn't allowed. As for your drink, say no, keep saying it, and accept that she's going to behave like this for about 3 years so best get her used to hearing the word no.

Fruitbat15 · 15/09/2016 15:57

Have you thought about getting a juicer and giving her fresh juice watered down a bit? Much healthier, my DD loves it!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 15/09/2016 16:23

Think a dentist might disagree with you there Fruitbat.

MrsCampbellBlack · 15/09/2016 16:36

Hopefully your dd is thirsty and now had some water.

I would take her to the doctors though for a bloodprick. We have no family history of type one but my ds was diagnosed age 10. Excessive thirst and urination should always be checked out.

WhyASpoon · 15/09/2016 17:06

OP I feel for you with the tantrums. Stay calm but strong.

Just one thing though, if she's only been drinking sugar free she may experience some withdrawal from the sweeteners. Hopefully not too much but it may be behind some of the anger/upset over the next day or two.

(Small amounts of sugar over artificial sweeteners every time...don't get me started on Aspartame)

GrayJane · 15/09/2016 17:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. We don't think this was meant to be posted here!

Niloufes · 15/09/2016 17:36

Got to let those tantrums wash over you. Its difficult, I know, but set your rules and stick to them. If you don't want her to drink as much squash don't give her as much. If you don't want her to drink your drink then don't give it to her. She'll soon realise that you wont give in and move on to something else.

hookiewookie29 · 15/09/2016 19:35

If you have a drink at the same time as her and she drinks hers then wants yours.....don't give it to her! Tell her when you give her her drink that once she's drank it, then she can't have anymore, not even yours.Children have to learn that they can't always have what they want.Let her strop, and ignore it. You've told her she can't have it, so stick to it. Reduce the amount of squash you put in...if she really is thirsty then she'll drink it. Don't fill the cup.....just do it halfway.

Purpleraindeer · 16/09/2016 06:48

What's wrong with giving her squash if it's the low sugar version?

Fruitbat15 · 16/09/2016 09:16

www.dentalhealth.org/news/details/833

There is a difference between juice made at home and juice/squash with added refined sugar.

WhyASpoon · 16/09/2016 09:25

What's wrong with giving her squash if it's the low sugar version?

Because giving artificial sweeteners, especially in larger amounts, is more harmful than small amounts of sugar. Not to the teeth, but to the brain. It is also addictive, can actually increase hunger and cravings, and is a known factor in challenging behaviour.

On my phone so hard to link, but Google effects of artificial sweeteners and you will find loads. Especially on aspartame (metabolised to formaldehyde in the brain).

Natural is always better than artificial, it's just about the amounts.

T0ddlerSlave · 16/09/2016 09:28

We only give 'nice' drinks when we're buying lunch out, and yes DD does down a squash or juice at an amazing rate.

I like the idea of ice and a slice to make water more appealing. A fancy jug and an plenty cup would make it all appear v grown up.

Scroobius · 16/09/2016 09:41

Definitely don't give her yours, my 3 year old was like this and she doesn't take food or drink from us at all now after a few terrible tantrums to begin with. Also reducing the amount of juice is a good idea, dd now likes to see that juice "is" going into the water but obviously isn't bothered about taste because she's actually just drinking water.

Michelle310 · 16/09/2016 18:30

We drink fruit juice with water in it. We started with more juice than water then gradually reduce the pure fruit juice. Although real juice is still high is sugar there are vitamins and the water neutralises the acidic effect.

Psychologists will tell you not to make a big deal about the fussiness, just role model good eat habits and keep offering healthy foods. Don't make mealtime a battleground, it's not good for you or her. Good luck, it's never easy.

Craigie · 16/09/2016 18:46

Hold your ground. NEVER cave in to her. Drink flavoured water and tell her it's plain water to put her off.

ILovePies · 16/09/2016 19:16

Hi porridge
How are you getting on?
My DD is 2.2 and drinks a 9oz sippy cup of juice every hour. She is like your DD and guzzles it down straight away!
It's a nightmare with her nappies, they're always full & leaking!
I hate the amount she's drinking so I usually fill the cup up with water first then put a tiny drop of squash in so it gIves a bit of colour.
After rtft I think I might take her to the Dr on Monday because she definitely does drink lots but I also believe it is a con fort thing.
Hope your DD has been okay going cold turkey!

Stanleysmum01 · 16/09/2016 20:00

Hi Porridge, I have to agree with the other posts about getting her checked out with the GP or Health Visitor first. Also try getting her to help you make drinks, squeezing the oranges, juicing an apple, making milkshakes they are all easy tasks and fun and use straws to drink if she wants juice. Good Luck

brotherphil · 16/09/2016 20:27

OP is not denying DD a drink - DD is demanding OP'S drink in addition to her own. Let her scream, if you can take it.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 16/09/2016 20:37

my lot just used to get milk or water...but for some reason, lost in the mists of time, water was called Plain Juice.

not saying they never ever had anything else, but I never liked fizzy drinks, or squash as a child, so I never used to buy it. except for emergency ribena for hot drinks when nursing a cold

RandomMess · 16/09/2016 20:58

The excessive wanting to drink could be her need to suck so comforting herself, whereas as so me would be using a dummy - hope that makes sense!

pollymere · 16/09/2016 21:01

Please get her checked for Type 1 diabetes. This is a classic early symptom as you crave sugar as well as fluid and you really do chug not sip. I drank so much juice and sugary drinks when I'd always drunk water or sugar free and was diagnosed with diabetes shortly after. It might not be but the tantrums could also be caused by blood sugar issues and the earlier you catch it, the less likely she is to get really sick.

Cantstopeatingchocolate · 16/09/2016 21:09

Hope cold turkey is going well.
IF you reintroduce diluting juice make it really weak. My DS has his at around 1:20. Very lightly/flavoured plain water.
I believe it's better than not drinking at all, which is what he used to be like. Try water with meals, diluting/squash at snack time. Drinks ONLY at the dining table/small snack table and when child leaves table the cup gets removed. 5 or 6 cups a day should be plenty, maybe a bit more in summer.

arrrrghhwinehelpswithteens · 16/09/2016 21:16

Oh I was so lucky with mine! She only had water or milk from us initially, then "juice" which in reality was water with enough juice to colour it. Then of course she found fruit shoots. And at age 6, fizzy drinks. Thankfully, now she's 14 she prefers water, really weak juice or a cup of tea / hot chocolate and has come around to always having a bottle of water with her after seeing it's effect on her skin.

As you have already gone "cold turkey"I would stick to it - you may surprise yourself and find you actually like it but if you're not keen on water I do agree with the PP who said to drink it ice cold.

Good luck - as once you've cracked this, you'll have the next fixation to deal with !! Grin

Lunchboxlewiswillyoumarryme · 16/09/2016 21:56

What if it was a glass of wine? What would you do?..no this is mummy's drink.this yr drink...then distract her ..it's a phase it will pass.they do.dont stress

Chocness · 16/09/2016 21:57

My 17 month old is exactly the same. Needless to say we all drink water now and the squash/juice is no more. No juice, no problems plus it saves on the weekly food bill which is an added bonus!