To let her strop about it and not share

[porridge90]

Bit of a ridiculous one but I'm not sure if I'm being unnecessarily cruel. My dd is 2.3 and she LOVES juice. I know I will be flamed for it but I cannot get her to drink water so she has squash. (Yes I make sure I brush her teeth etc and she never has it in bed). The problem I have is that she guzzles it. If you give her a cup with it in she will down the whole thing in seconds and still ask for more. She would just drink all day if I let her.

I have to be strict as she can fill herself up on juice and then refuse to eat, eating is already a bit of an issue with her being really fussy.

Now, whenever I have a drink she has started throwing a massive fit that she wants it, even if she has just finished hers.

Am I being cruel to just let her cry about it? I don't want her thinking she can always just take my food and drink and I can't just time our drinks together, as she will just drink hers really fast and scream for mine. Part of the problem I guess is that I too don't really like water so I drink juice and that's why she wants it. Is it part of being a parent that I have to hide when eating/drinking? Or that I can only drink things she doesn't like so I don't have to share?

I sound like a 2 year old myself I know with this issue, but it is really starting to annoy me...

Tuktuk the clear urine is a result of drinking so much, so its not a bad thing, it just means she's is very hydrated. The darker the urine the more concentrated it is so the more dehydrated you are.

I don't think you're being mean at all. If you replaced 'squash' with 'chocolate buttons' you wouldn't think it was mean to limit her intake!

I'd try and wean her off the squash (proper juice isn't any better really) by only giving water afterwards but I wouldn't share mine.

I would caution against just cutting her off completely on the assumption she'll drink water when she gets thirsty enough - a friend of mine as a toddler was very stubborn and ended up in hospital with a kidney infection when her mum did this.

Open cup and sit at the table to drink juice and water in a straw/sippy freely available if she's thirsty.

If it's a longstanding thing it s unlikely to be a medical issue but talk to your GP re dip testing her wee as a minimum today.

Lots of toddlers would rather guzzle lots of yummy sweet juice than sit and eat a meal- the sugar in the juice will stop them feeling hungry and they can rush off and do toddlery things quicker. Sme guzzle gallons of cows milk for the same reason. They find eating dull and boring /they have to sits still to do it!

I don't drink water. Ever. I didn't as a child (my foster parents wouldn't let me have anything else, so I just wouldn't drink). I don't as an adult. I'll drink sparkling water but only flavoured.

Weaken her squash, and do see a doctor about her thirst. You might not think she's actually thirsty but it's unusual to drink things just because they are there, especially at two.

I drink lots of water. I have a couple of cups of coffee a day, but other than that just water (alcohol too, but not daily 😁). It's not that I don't like other drinks, it's just that I don't want to be drinking that much sugar I'd rather eat cake & I find they just make me more thirsty.

However, I hate the tap water here, even if it's filtered, so I drink bottled water. At home I drink it almost frozen and out with a lot of ice when possible. To me, room temperature water is horrible.

I also drink a lot of sparkling water - though there's some debate on whether that's bad for you or not. I really can't see how it can be, but I'd probably not start a small child drinking it, to err on the side of caution.

I'd suggest seeing if you can find a way of drinking it yourself first, experiment with temperature (my friend can only drink it tepid - Bleurgh), glass type (it all makes a difference to some of us), bottle, straw, brand etc. Once you've found a way you can drink it, then go cold turkey with DD, I think that's better than rationing it. If it's not in the house she can scream the place down & you won't cave in. Also when they're so little 'no' is an easier concept to grasp than X per day etc. She's way more likely to keep up the tantrums if she's sometimes allowed it.

If it were me, I'd take her to the Drs now. I'd explain the situation, tell them that you are moving her over to water (ignore any crap about fruit juice) and ask they test her for diabetes now. It's only a finger prick. Waiting until you've moved her to water might mask the problem because she might need the water, but not want it. It's MOST likely just to be toddler behaviour & sugar cravings, but best to get it checked out IMO.

Is she a bit of a dribbler? My nephew used to be attached to squash and he had throat problems.

Does she eat a lot of processed food? I wonder if she has too much salt in her diet, which is making her excessively thirsty.

Just because she has been like this for a long time doesn't mean there's not an underlying issue (such as diabetes). You can be diabetic & seemingly function normally for a very long time before something else causes you to get diagnosed.

As I say, it's far more likely to be toddler behaviour, but I'd get it checked out now.

Might be better to just not buy squash. It's full of crap anyway.

You can't expect a child to drink water if you won't drink it yourself.

You said the amount she drinks is insane, I would definitely have her checked for Type 1 Diabetic, just to be on the safe side. Weak sugar free squash, difficult to reason with a 2 year old especially if you dont like water yourself, trying water 9for her) with a tiny amount of food colouring added see if she knows the difference.Milk wont help, its a "food" not a drink will fill her up, and also has its own sugar.

I have type 1 diabetes. I was thirsty for nine days, and tgen I was in the hospital. Kidneys were in trouble, eye sight got worse. They stopped doing bloodtests because everything came back wrong. They stabilised me first and after that I was fine.

A diabetes check at the GP is 30 seconds. She probably doesnt have it bacause the chance is small but I think you should have it checked today just to be sure. You wouldn't want to make her sicker if you can prevent it just because you don't make time for a 30 second test.

Can you fill an empty fruit shoot bottle with water and trick her into thinking it's juice?

OP, please don't minimise the concern about diabetes.

I can still recall the screams coming from next door (terrace house) when they had to inject their 3.5 year old with insulin. 2 people holding her a 3rd to inject. She got used to it quickly, poor thing.

But the doc had said that many kids are drinking a lot for a long time and it only becomes diagnosed when something else shows up. It's a quick test (diabetics in my family) and better done sooner than later.

I didn't give my kids squash but I did have a fridge with an ice dispenser that they loved. It would make crushed ice.
How about trying ice?

Raspberry, how is it in anyway helpful to talk about a toddler screaming when they got an injection?

I agree with switching to water. Maybe for both of you for the first week, until she gets used to the idea. Then you can (subtly) reintroduce squash for you. Perhaps buy yourself a non clear glass to have it from so it's less obvious?

The benefit of switching to water is you will be able to tell if she is genuinely very very thirsty (= needs a medical check up) or whether it's just that she loves squash. If she is really thirsty in a diabetic way she will still drink loads even if it's water.

i am really not judging (but think this might come across as judging, for which i apologise right away)

"I'm just a bit crap at enforcing stuff like that. Same with her eating, I go through phases of trying to make her eat what we eat and not pandering to the fussiness, but then give in when she literally eats nothing."

this is where your problem is, you need to stick to your guns as you are showing her that all she needs to do is tantrum to get her own way. Give her what you eat - if she doesn't want to eat with you, then she eats later - but she wont starve

Also - this probably spills out in to other parts of your life with her - be firm now and it will make your life a lot easier later on

Been here, done that!

Get yourself a non-see-through glass for your own cordial so she can't see what's in it.

I would suggest going cold turkey on the squash for a few days and offering water or milk. She will definitely tantrum but you might be surprised how quickly she adapts to water or milk. Re-introduce the squash after a while if you want to but move the place where you keep it and only offer it occasionally. Always offer water as a first choice.

The dentist said lots of squash is a bad idea because even no added sugar contains sugar of some sort, which sits on their teeth, also the juice is carbohydrate so children "fill up" on squash and then their meals go out of the window as they're not hungry at mealtimes and end up snacking in between. Also it strengthens the need for sweet things, it is helping them develop a taste that everything they drink has to be sweet which is setting them up for bad habits when they are tweens/teens and you can't keep a close eye on brushing like when they are small.

My DCs were almost addicted to (no added sugar) squash to the point it got ridiculous, really ridiculous. When we went on holiday there was no juice, it was water or fruit juice. Most of the time they chose water. When we got back, we bought smaller bottles of squash, kept them out of sight and now if they ask for a drink it's probably 1 out of 3 times I'll say they can have a juice. The rest of the time I am firm that they can have a water or milk on occasion and that's it. They accept that (this is amazing as the tantrums we used to have over squash were unbelievable).

Just an anecdote that may help OP. I had a friend who could not get her DC nappy free during the night and it was because of squash. They would drink loads. Once they had just water then they didn't drink as much at night and were dry. This friend and another both made the juice weaker over time.

Do get her checked at the GP though, just in case.

Felicia "I would caution against just cutting her off completely on the assumption she'll drink water when she gets thirsty enough - a friend of mine as a toddler was very stubborn and ended up in hospital with a kidney infection when her mum did this." Good point. That's why I would reintroduce the squash but hopefully at a point when they are also used to milk, water or watered down fruit juice as well as squash.

Squash definitely has it's place as it does help keep children interested in drinking fluids and therefore hydrated, but I recognise the OP's concern that squash can become almost an obsession with some DCs.

I certainly haven't tried to minimise concerns over diabetes. Just for me, I have no family history of diabetes and would feel a bit silly going to the doctors because she drinks too much squash. Like I said, if she is still drinking lots because she is genuinely thirsty when I am only offering water then I will most definitely take her to be checked.

I agree that I'm not firm enough and need to stick to my guns. I obviously won't drink squash in front of her while I'm only giving her water, I'm not cruel. I also agree about it being more difficult to potty train, she wees that often that it would just be a nightmare right now to try.

Thanks everyone. Lots of helpful advice here that I will be applying.

This strikes me as a bit "do as I say, not as I do", which I've found backfires massively with my 3 year old.

My daughter would drink nothing except juice if I let her, but I've solved the problem by simply not having it in the house. Believe me, when water and milk are the only available beverages, a toddler will drink them.

The sugar in squash and juice is, as you say, filling. It's also bad for teeth and addictive. If there's any way you can change your own behaviour in order to instil healthier eating habits, I really really would. And if you can't change it, then that probably is an interesting lesson in itself about the addictive effects of sugar.

Sorry, I know this sounds preachy, but having gone through several bad phases with sugary foods (juice and then baked beans) this all sounds so familiar and there was really only one good way to solve it.

I don't think I'm sold on the idea of never having squash myself. I like it, as an adult I feel that's my choice to make but I won't be drinking it in front of her, il just make myself drink water when she has water. Perhaps I will naturally drink less myself that way. Although I do think children should understand that they can't always have what someone else is having. Perhaps now is too soon to teach that particular lesson though, who knows.

PS can recommend a fabulous book called Getting The Little Blighters To Eat. Really interesting advice about food, including stuff about habits, preferences and the psychological stuff behind how we approach food.

I wish my own eating habits and patterns had been set in a healthier way when I was younger as I do think they impact me today and I make poor food choices for emotional reasons!