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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

tipping the waitress

161 replies

mummysmummy · 14/09/2016 13:17

I have a friend that I sometimes meet for coffee or lunch. she rarely tips and when she does its miserly. I feel so embarrassed about this, I make up for it by making up the tip to an acceptable amount and sometimes secretly giving all of it. AIBU to think that tipping, particularly for staff who are low paid, it a good thing to-do.
maybe i should manup about this and tell her not to be such a skinflint

OP posts:
RainbowJack · 14/09/2016 15:59

I take it you've never worked in customer service before?

I have actually.

I take it you've never had to stick your arm in a loo to clean out someone else's shit.

A lot of people work hard in different jobs. It's ridiculous to point score off them and how arrogant to dismiss someones job because you think it doesn't take enough skill or effort compared to another.

RainbowJack · 14/09/2016 15:59

I take it you've never worked in customer service before?

I have actually.

I take it you've never had to stick your arm in a loo to clean out someone else's shit.

A lot of people work hard in different jobs. It's ridiculous to point score off them and how arrogant to dismiss someones job because you think it doesn't take enough skill or effort compared to another.

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 15:59

Frankly in a restaurant if the bill is large and you end up having to tip the waiter £70

What planet are you on ha ha. Do you regulary go for £850.00 meals?

chilipepper20 · 14/09/2016 16:00

Also, there is a skill to serving food and drink correctly. There is no skill in showing people where the socks are.

Many jobs where tipping isn't expected require much more skill. I have a lovely doctor, who despite working in a very large practice, remembers, or seems to remember, my personal health condition. I can't remember the last time I tipped her.

as stated above, it's all very inconsistent.

WellErrr · 14/09/2016 16:02

I don't tip either, but it's ok, I can cope without judgy friends like you Biscuit

chilipepper20 · 14/09/2016 16:02

It's hardly "well rewarded" a quid here or there.

in London the standard is 12.5%.

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 16:02

I take it you've never had to stick your arm in a loo to clean out someone else's shit

Many, many times.

It's not about working hard, it's about the skills you have to employ.

If you don't believe you need different skills working in a kitchen to working a shop then that's fair enough.

Discobabe · 14/09/2016 16:03

I wouldn't tip for coffee but I would for a meal. Although even that is horrendously inconsistent as there seems to be places it's normal to tip and other places not so much. I'd tip the hairdresser too but only because it's expected. I can't say as I understand why we tip some people and not others.

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 16:04

Many jobs where tipping isn't expected require much more skill. I have a lovely doctor, who despite working in a very large practice, remembers, or seems to remember, my personal health condition. I can't remember the last time I tipped her

I believe it's called "medical notes" I may be wrong.

I wouldn't tip anyone on 56K a year, I might if they're on £12K a year and deserve it.

Ifailed · 14/09/2016 16:04

there is a skill to serving food and drink correctly

  1. take order.
  2. pick up plated food from pass
  3. put in front of customer

some skill, but no more than advising a customer in a shop about products, making suggestions, showing range etc.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 14/09/2016 16:05

I don't tip. I bloody hate the smug arrogance of those who think it's practically compulsory... Here's some pin money, pat them on the head and off you go..

We all get paid a wage and I can honestly never think of a scenario where someone has gone "above and beyond"

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 16:06

For the record, most restaurant tips get shared out with the waitress, the chefs, the kitchen porter, etc, etc.....

It doesn't just go straight into their pocket.

paranormalish · 14/09/2016 16:06

What planet are you on ha ha. Do you regulary go for £850.00 meals?

Where did I mention regularly?? but you have clearly never been up the Shard, or the Oxo tower (behave) where £100+ per head is not unusual.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 14/09/2016 16:07

Ive been a waitress and I think the entire practise of tipping should be banned

Allibear · 14/09/2016 16:07

When I worked as a waitress and I felt that you only have to tip if you feel I've been extra friendly or have made your experience a good one. I never expected a tip though and I really don't like the idea that you have to. Confused

JenLindleyShitMom · 14/09/2016 16:07

When I waitressed one particular restaurant split the tips between waitstaff and "the house" Hmm I always felt like telling the customers who tipped "do you know a third of this is going to the owner?"

Discobabe · 14/09/2016 16:07

All jobs have different skills. If that's your argument surely we should all be tipping everyone for their different oh so special skills? Hmm

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 16:07

some skill, but no more than advising a customer in a shop about products, making suggestions, showing range etc

You've never worked in a kitchen then.

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 16:09

If that's your argument surely we should all be tipping everyone for their different oh so special skills

Nope, my argument is that if you go out for a meal and have a nice experience then you should think about tipping the staff. That's it.

Going for a meal is quite different than buying new lipgloss.

RainbowJack · 14/09/2016 16:09

You've never worked in a kitchen then.

Pretty sure neither do waitresses. They're front of the house.

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 16:10

but you have clearly never been up the Shard, or the Oxo tower (behave) where £100+ per head is not unusual

Are you paying for the meals?

JenLindleyShitMom · 14/09/2016 16:11

I'm loving all these competitive "you've clearly never..." Comments Grin

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 16:11

Pretty sure neither do waitresses. They're front of the house

It's pretty pointless discussing the issue with someone who's never worked in a real restaurant. No offence.

chilipepper20 · 14/09/2016 16:13

I wouldn't tip anyone on 56K a year, I might if they're on £12K a year and deserve it.

bus drivers, hardware store clerks, taxis, takeaway drivers, teachers (teachers. yes. they are with your DC all day!), ...

I have yet to hear a good argument why the professions where tipping is expected should be limited to those professions. For virtually everyone else, the pay rate is between the employer and employee, but for a strange class of occupations, the people served by the employee are supposed to step in and say "not enough".

It's funny because it does set up a very odd incentive structure, and you really see this in the US. You can get very good service in places in the US if you are known to be a good tipper. I was at a bar where after my first tip every subsequent drink was virtually double the standard size.

RainbowJack · 14/09/2016 16:13

Nice comeback. Reserved for those who have run out of any substance in their argument.

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