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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

tipping the waitress

161 replies

mummysmummy · 14/09/2016 13:17

I have a friend that I sometimes meet for coffee or lunch. she rarely tips and when she does its miserly. I feel so embarrassed about this, I make up for it by making up the tip to an acceptable amount and sometimes secretly giving all of it. AIBU to think that tipping, particularly for staff who are low paid, it a good thing to-do.
maybe i should manup about this and tell her not to be such a skinflint

OP posts:
WaitrosePigeon · 14/09/2016 15:04

I don't tip in the UK.

chilipepper20 · 14/09/2016 15:05

It's more or less compulsory in the states. Not tipping is viewed like not paying.

Yes. It's a big statement not to tip there. I think in the UK, you will be seen as tight or you thought the service was mediocre (though that's changing. it is becoming more american, especially in London), in the US you are effectively saying you thought the service was absolutely dreadful.

EmpressofBlandings · 14/09/2016 15:08

I think people who don't tip in circumstances where it's expected and where they've had good service (restaurants, cafes with table service, i.e. not costa or starbucks) are miserly miseries. As for the ones who say "Oh, I never tip" as though it were something terribly admirable about them, I'd like to see them have to work full time as a waiter for a couple of months on NLW.

There's very little I find as unattractive in people as a lack of manners and/or generosity.

MephistoMarley · 14/09/2016 15:14

Eating in a pizza chain in London a while back, service was crap so we all put in our spare change and got to about 4% as a tip. The waiter cornered us on the way out and asked why we hadn't tipped more. Twat.

BarbaraofSeville · 14/09/2016 15:15

What makes waiting staff so special? Why do they deserve tips when people almost never tip cleaners, care workers or retail staff. They work hard for shit money and don't get tips.

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 14/09/2016 15:23

scoles

Love the start of that film Grin

TaterTots · 14/09/2016 15:27

Mepisto - Clearly that was 4% more than he deserved. Bloody cheek!

londonrach · 14/09/2016 15:36

Another who doesnt get the tipping. You pay the bill for an item in this case a meal, the same as you would in a shop. If service is good i might leave a couple of pounds but certainly never for cake and coffee has to be a whole meal. Ive travelled across usa and very pleased in the amish area to see on the menu....please dont tip. The whole tipping thing in america was very confusing as ameerivan friend said it was 20%.... Glad i live in the uk and you only tip if you get good service.

alizondevice · 14/09/2016 15:43

Joining the chorus: it's totally up to your friend whether she chooses to tip or not.

RainbowJack · 14/09/2016 15:43

mummysmummy Dump her. She doesn't need you as a "friend"

I make up for it by making up the tip to an acceptable amount and sometimes secretly giving all of it. I'd be furious if a friend was doing this.

I don't understand why wait staff are treated like poor little lambs who need money handed to them. Like no other minimum wage employees in customer service jobs have a hard slog of it and get treated like shit.

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 15:46

I hate non-tippers. If the service has been good, leave something, if it hasn't, don't.

Really quite simple.

Arrogant people, as a rule, don't tip.

Babetti · 14/09/2016 15:46

"I really don't get the mentality of well I don't tip one trade so why should I tip another?"

Hairspray, I think it's because I don't see one minimum wage job as more deserving of a tip than another. I worked really hard in retail for years on minimum wage and without commission as did many of my friends. If a person who worked as a waitress came into my shop and I spent ages helping her, I didn't expect her to pay me an extra 10% on top of what she has spent because she'd gotten good service. It was my job.

I think employers should pay a fair wage at the outset and not depend on their customers to top up their employee's wages.

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 15:47

I don't understand why wait staff are treated like poor little lambs who need money handed to them. Like no other minimum wage employees in customer service jobs have a hard slog of it and get treated like shit

Food and drink handling/service is far removed from other customer service jobs and should be treated differently.

RainbowJack · 14/09/2016 15:49

Food and drink handling/service is far removed from other customer service jobs and should be treated differently.

Please elaborate.

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 15:49

Do any of you tip your stylists after they've just robbed you for £140 quids work? Yeah you do.

But you won't tip someone who's busting a gut to make sure you have a nice experience/meal?

Could you imagine if waiting staff just did the bare minimum in their jobs - you'd all hate it.

Blue2014 · 14/09/2016 15:51

I used to waitress, I was also a shop assistant at the same time. My hourly paid rate was higher as a waitress. While I loved my tips, I really don't think it's compulsory - most UK shops don't work on commission and my service was as good there as in the restaurant

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 15:51

Please elaborate

I take it you've never worked in customer service before?

Serving someone a meal is quite different to answering the phone with "how can I help you"

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 15:52

While I loved my tips, I really don't think it's compulsory

Of course it isn't compulsory, who said it was?

Blackfellpony · 14/09/2016 15:53

I don't tip unless service has been exceptional.

DH worked as a waiter for a short time when we were at uni and his boss kept every penny for himself Hmm

There are loads of minimum wage jobs that don't even receive thanks never mind a tip, don't see why it's any different.

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 15:55

Also, there is a skill to serving food and drink correctly. There is no skill in showing people where the socks are.

chilipepper20 · 14/09/2016 15:55

Could you imagine if waiting staff just did the bare minimum in their jobs - you'd all hate it

But that's the weird thing, isn't it? In no other job are you expected to be very well rewarded for doing more than the bare minimum.

paranormalish · 14/09/2016 15:56

Tipping is bizarre really, why do you tip a Taxi driver? you have only got into his cab to be driven from A to B you pay him for that service what are you tipping for? Same with the guy who cuts your hair....

Frankly in a restaurant if the bill is large and you end up having to tip the waiter £70 ( most of which is for wine which you pour yourself) I end up feeling I would rather have collected the food from the kitchen myself and save the £70 Blush

Babetti · 14/09/2016 15:57

User147 - it's their job to provide good customer service and a pleasant experience for their customers. Just like it was my job to provide good customer service and a pleasant experience when I worked in a shop. That was my job. I got paid NMW for it and didn't expect my customers to tip me.

In terms of customer interaction, being on your feet all day, having a knowledge of what your selling / serving, I thought NMW retail and serving jobs are broadly comparable. Am I missing something?

TopazBurns · 14/09/2016 15:57

I tend to tip more if it's a young person as I figure they probably need the money more than a middle aged person (that is probably ageist I know, but it's what I do)
Also min wage is much lower for under 25s.

user1470043860 · 14/09/2016 15:57

But that's the weird thing, isn't it? In no other job are you expected to be very well rewarded for doing more than the bare minimum

It's hardly "well rewarded" a quid here or there.

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