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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your age cut off point to have a baby is?

404 replies

Mummyyummy2012 · 13/09/2016 21:32

I'm 43 and figure I am probably too old for any more children but deep down in my heart I'd love another...aibu to ask how old you think is too old?

OP posts:
LellyMcKelly · 13/09/2016 22:28

I was 37 with DC1 and 2 weeks into 40 with DC2. I'm not having any more. I think as long as you are healthy, and ready for it, I would go as far as 45-46. I know someone who had one at 49, but she's very youthful and there is great longevity in her family - they all live well into their 90s and remain sprightly throughout. As long as you can comfortably raise a child to adulthood then age shouldn't be a huge barrier.

Acorn44 · 13/09/2016 22:30

I am 44 and would still be trying now if I hadn't had an early menopause. Several of my 44-47 year old friends have had babies in the last year. One was a first baby. None planned, but all adored. Don't think there's ever a perfect age. It's what works for you and your family.

cowboysbabymaybe · 13/09/2016 22:31

43, and just POAS. Positive.
Guess it's 43 then. Grin

Vikkijayne2507 · 13/09/2016 22:36

35 for me, I had 1st at 27 almost 28 and 2nd 29 almost 30. Will be trying I expect for 3rd and final around 33. I want to be baby free by 35 with toddlers and older ones, I have sleep haters and it's so hard until they r 1.5-2 years. I want to be able to enjoy them all whilst I have energy. Fwiw my body reaaaaly felt old during 2nd

BlueCorvette · 13/09/2016 22:37

First baby - 24
Second baby - 28
Third baby - 30
Fourth baby - 36

I found the fourth pregnancy the easiest! I'd say my cut off would be around 40 purely because I've spend so many years with young DC.

Apparently 42 was the average age women would have their last child back in the day...

childoftheeighties · 13/09/2016 22:39

Congratulations cowboysbabymaybe!
My last was at 27 and now I'm 36. I am quite enjoying having time to be lazy! I do miss having little ones around and have moments of broodiness but unless we had a big lottery type win then i am past my cut off point!

TheCuriousOwl · 13/09/2016 22:41

I'm 35 and would like the option of having one at least...

Being unlovable and finding it impossible to be in a relationship will be the reason I don't end up having any, not because I'm too old.

unlucky83 · 13/09/2016 22:42

First at 33, second at 39 - thought I would like a third...wasn't trying but wasn't not trying -it didn't happen - felt really broody but thought 45 was the cut off - when I got there I was really sad and extended that to 46....reached that and still didn't take precautions as obviously it seemed I was unlikely to get pregnant then. Then at 47 one day I woke up and realised that I really couldn't face going back to the baby years - I was appreciating DC2 being more independent and actually regretting the big age gap between DC1 and 2 ....(13 yrs of the primary school run - I couldn't face more than that!) Started taking precautions - now 49 and still not truly menopausal - I'm not taking the risk!!!

user1467798821 · 13/09/2016 22:42

I am 47 and I have my grand daughter here 4 days a week for 12 hours a day....I am knackered! Permanently! But my youngest child is 22. If you're used to little ones being around I would say go for it X

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 13/09/2016 22:42

38 for me I think. At that point DD will be the same age as I was when I had her, and that'll be the point where I say that's enough.

16 years of childbearing to go Grin

WhatWouldCoachBombayDo · 13/09/2016 22:45

I'm 26 and have one child who is 2, I'd love one more though! I've proposed 30 as a cut off, but depending on finances, career and DP I may need to extend that to 32. If it's not happened by 30 or 32 though I'll stop and just be happy I have one child, which is more than what some women who desperately long for have.

Mirandawest · 13/09/2016 22:45

I've had children at 28 and 30. Am now 41. Finding it hard to say there's definitely not going to be any more (am with different partner from the one I was with when having my children).

Is a head and heart thing - luckily I have a coil so would have to make a concerted effort for the heart to win.

JessaHanna · 13/09/2016 22:45

Flowers Curious Owl - I didn't have my first until 39 and at your age I also thought I was unlovable - be kind to yourself!

45 is my cut off but ideally would like to fall pregnant with second next summer and I'll be 42 then

AnotherPrickInTheWall · 13/09/2016 22:45

It depends on a lot of factors. I was an ancient mom at 39, but would have loved having kids in my mid 20's.
It wasn't to be, and being older has its downfalls.

Original poster
Mummyyummy2012 · 13/09/2016 22:46

Wow, congrats Cowboys!!

OP posts:
PogoBob · 13/09/2016 22:47

I'm 36 and 6 weeks pregnant with no. 3. If this pregnancy fails I don't think we'll try again as 37 feels to old for me (based on my own personal health etc. considerations - no judgement on others who have babies at an older age).

ICantFindAFreeNickName2 · 13/09/2016 22:48

I had my first at 32, then struggled to conceive for years. My cut-off point in my head was that if I was not pregnant by the time I was 39 and 3 months then we would give up. It's not that I thought over 40 was too old, I think it was just more that I felt we needed to accept it was not going to happen and move on with our lives. Luckily I got pregnant just before my 39th birthday. I only ever wanted two children so we stopped at that point.
I feel having young children at that age keeps you young, although it did screw up any idea's we might of had about retiring young.

ephemeralfairy · 13/09/2016 22:48

I always thought my maternal instinct might kick in by my early to mid thirties. I'm 35 now and no sign of it whatsoever.
I'm vaguely aware that I should do it fairly soon if I want to but I really have no urge whatsoever.

SirVixofVixHall · 13/09/2016 22:49

I had my last at 43. So it isn't too old in my book. I also got upduffed with the ease of a teenager, so don't assume it will take an age if you do try.

Ditsy4 · 13/09/2016 22:50

My mum had my sister at 44 she thought it was the menapause!

AliOh · 13/09/2016 22:51

Had my first at 25, second at 26,
I'm 27 now and feel like I'm done but doesn't mean to say I won't change my mind in the future! I don't think Id want to have children past 35 though

TwoLittleBlooms · 13/09/2016 22:52

I think it all depends how you feel - I can't imagine having a cut off age (especially one set in stone). I had my eldest at 23 and then didn't get broody again until I was 30 (husband thought he was too old to be raising a child,he is 11 years older than me) we ended up having dd2 when I was 35 but he would like another now but I am feeling too tired now to do it again (but we have a toddler who doesn't sleep and a teen with additional needs) oh and I am just beginning a degree to get myself a career! But I won't say never because I don't know how I will feel in couple of years (or more!)

wiltingfast · 13/09/2016 22:54

I don't think you really know until you are walking the walk. I'd have said 40ish but dc3 not working out and we have drifted on letting it run and hoping for just one more. Have just suffered a3rd mc now at 42. At first I said no way, you need the snip, this is over, but Now I've calmed down I suspect we might give it another 6m before really REALLY throwing in the towel.

amysmummy12345 · 13/09/2016 22:57

Had first at 33, second at 36... My body is broken, I feel like a 76 year old most days 😌 I'd love another but I think we're done...

littlepeas · 13/09/2016 23:01

I used to say 35 - I had mine at 26, 27 and 29 - but I'm nearly there and not quite ready to say absolutely never ever again (although I doubt very much we will have any more). So now maybe it's 38. I definitely wouldn't in my 40's - thrilled for anyone who wants to and has the energy, but I know I couldn't. I'm knackered now at 34!