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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what your age cut off point to have a baby is?

404 replies

Mummyyummy2012 · 13/09/2016 21:32

I'm 43 and figure I am probably too old for any more children but deep down in my heart I'd love another...aibu to ask how old you think is too old?

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 13/09/2016 22:07

I'm 43 feel too old now with dp 10 years older. Dd is 6 would have loved her to have a sibling.

GingerbreadCake · 13/09/2016 22:08

For me personally I'd say 40 because I'd be worried about complications but I know people who have had children in their early 40s and all has been fine so I wouldn't say there is a right or wrong answer however of o could I would want to complete my family by about36 bug I'm running out of time for that so pushing the goalposts a bit.

Elllicam · 13/09/2016 22:08

I am pregnant now (35) and would like one more after this.

Flyingbytheseatofmypullups · 13/09/2016 22:10

I am 44 and have come to realise over the past year that I can't have another. I have a 5yr old and didnt plan to just have one, but even if someone said we could have a baby tomorrow I know we wouldn't do it. Just too hard to go back to baby stage now and have to accept that whilst I consider us pretty young for our age, we would stuggle and believe there would be a negative impact on our 5yr old. Also, if we didnt have a child I think 42 or thereabouts would be time we'd have decided to crack on and enjoy life without a child and the opportunties that offers.

HeadDreamer · 13/09/2016 22:12

I had mine at 36 and 39. I don't feel too old to have them at all. I am fit and healthy over both pregnancies, doing Pilates and yoga and cycling. I don't find the lack of sleep hard or have problem keeping up with two young children.

I don't believe it is up to others to judge. It's so much personal circumstances.

Strokethefurrywall · 13/09/2016 22:12

My cut off used to be 38 but I think I've already hit the "no more babies" part of my life. I had DS1 a week or so before my 32nd birthday and DS2 when I was 34.

I longed for a 3rd but now that DS2 is 2 1/2 and I'm approaching my 37th birthday I'm happy to stick at two children. Not because I feel too old but definitely because I don't want as big an age gap between them.

Rollonbedtime7pm · 13/09/2016 22:12

I've not long had #3 and i'm 33. Am glad I will still be young enough to enjoy myself when the kids are more independent/leave home.

I wouldn't have wanted to have babies past being around 35 - I am lucky my life panned out the way I hoped!

IAmNotAWitch · 13/09/2016 22:13

It was 35 for me. Now at 39 I am a little broody. But just don't think I can summon the energy. DS1 at 27 and DS2 at 33.

wobblywonderwoman · 13/09/2016 22:13

I had my first at 35, went straight away again so second at 36

Two under 14 months was ok but enough to say 'I'm done'

MaddyHatter · 13/09/2016 22:14

personally i was done 7 years ago when i was 27... however, i think as long as your body can cope with the pregnancy, and you can cope with raising a child, then go ahead.

3luckystars · 13/09/2016 22:14
ChristmasAccountant · 13/09/2016 22:16

Currently pregnant at 39 with dc2, I'm done after this, dc1 pregnancy was much easier!

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 13/09/2016 22:17

I think it depends completely on the person. I'm 31 with a 7 month old and 2 year old and largely knackered. My pelvis still isn't back to normal and I can't wait for a full nights sleep! I don't think I could do it at 40+ but my body is not suited to pregnancy. I can't have any more now anyway.

Badders123 · 13/09/2016 22:20

35 for me.
I had ds2 2 weeks before my 36th b day :)

GreatFuckability · 13/09/2016 22:21

there is a bit of a trend for having a late baby in my family. my mum had my sister at 40, my stepmum had my other sister at 43, my auntie had a baby at 46. They all seemed to cope just fine!

for me, I had my 3 in my early/mid twenties and knew I was done after number 3 at 26, but had I been older starting, i'd have carried on later i expect.

whereonthestair · 13/09/2016 22:23

I had ds at 36, always thought it would be 40. By 41 I was sure that was right and at 42 happy with that. I've stopped at 1.

Wibblywobblyfoo · 13/09/2016 22:23

I had my first at 19. And last at 26. I wouldn't want to do it again now, 36, because of the age gaps. Starting again scares me.

CamdenTownie · 13/09/2016 22:23

I'd had 4 by the time I was 28, we both agreed that 30 was the cut off and dd2 was born just after dh turned 31.

I'm 36 now, with one at uni and 3 school age kids and even the thought of going through it all over again terrifies me. I recently had a very late period and I've never been so frantic with worry.

I've no idea how some of my friends manage pregnancies in their mid to late 40's. But I had/have no willing grandparents to help out with childcare or to take the children away whilst we have a break ourselves ( which lots do seem to be lucky enough to have) plus my husband works away a lot, although he is very 'hands on' when he's home.

threelittlerapscallions · 13/09/2016 22:24

I had my third at 39. I am just turned 40 now and would love number 4 very soon! Not too old if you are fit and healthy definitely.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 13/09/2016 22:26

I was 42 when my youngest was born and for me it was a breeze both the pregnancy and looking after a new born. I'm fit and healthy so have no problems running around after her.

Claireshh · 13/09/2016 22:27

I'm 40 and have a 7 year old and 5 year old. We tried for a third but after two miscarriages we gave up. I'm sad we don't have a third but we won't try again as I feel the age gap is too big, the risks are higher, I'm not sure I could face another miscarriage and I feel quite far away from the baby years now.

Kitten3 · 13/09/2016 22:27

43- and I say this as a 31week pregnant mum! DH and I already have 2 little ones, 4.5 and 2.5.

THIS IS IT.

StrumpersPlunkett · 13/09/2016 22:27

I think 20-25 years before you plan on being retired.
Sorry with financial head on only
If they are going to be financially dependent it would be v v hard to retire

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 13/09/2016 22:27

I'm 43 now and I'm definitely too old for more babies. I had mine at 28, 31, 33, 34 and 37 . I was very ill with all of them and had very painful pregnancies so I'm not sad to be leaving that stage of my life behind. To start with I did feel as if all that was left for me was a slow decline and eventual death, but I'm over that now, more or less.
I did think about squeezing another one in (or out really, I suppose!) before I hit 40, but that would have been my limit.

DisneyMillie · 13/09/2016 22:27

Just had my second (and last!) at 36. My cut off used to be 35 but then I went and got divorced after dd1 and met my DP at 33. I'm not great at being pregnant (lots of problems) so I wouldn't do it again.