Its funny how equality works, men are expected to be responsible for everything but women want ownership of it all
No one is saying that - what an odd interpretation. Most people are simply saying that people have autonomy over their own bodies. Parenting becomes an equal job once the baby is born, but it is a woman's body which nurtures the growing child and her body which pushes it out. No one is saying that partners shouldn't be supportive and be as involved as possible, but no one owns another person's physical experience.
If my partner got a vasectomy it would be him having the operation - not me. It would not be 'our vasectomy'.
When my Father had dementia, HE had it - not my mother who looked after him, and bore a huge burden of care - but she never described it as 'Our alzheimer's'
I;ve had cancer - all my family were affected by it, but it was me who went through the treatment and my body that bore the effects of that treatment.
If you try to encroach on someone's experience you diminish that experience. It isn't yours to appropriate. In the same way the OP's partner will be involved in the birth in a different way from her, it will not be his labour, he will not labour, but he will be there at the birth of his child - that is his experience.
It is really important for women to know that they own their bodies, no one else does, - this is what we want all our girls and women to grow up knowing. Men talking about 'our labour' are claiming ownership which they do not have, and they would be the first to complain if women started talking about 'our prostate exam' etc.
And the thing is if women did start appropriating male experiences, they would be looked at as if they were crazy. Yet for some bizarre reason when it comes to childbirth a new trend has come into being where men think it is OK for them to treat us as extensions of themselves.