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AIBU?

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Original poster

If a teacher sends ill child to the office they should call parent, not inspect their lunchbox

174 replies

FamiliarSting · 11/09/2016 14:41

My daughter is 7 and has just started in year 3.
On Friday morning she was feeling a bit ill, temperature of 38 ish, so I gave her some calpol and sent her in, telling her to see how she goes and to tell the teacher if she was still feeling unwell.

When she got home on Friday afternoon she was much worse, temperature of 39.6, she said she’d been feeling awful all day. She told her teacher in the morning, who apparently told her to see how she feels later (fair enough), she still felt bad in the afternoon so her teacher sent her to the office. I’m not certain what happened next, but the deputy head teacher was involved, she apparently asked to see my daughter’s packed lunch, to check how much food she had eaten, and from this concluded she was not unwell enough to go home, or even for me to be called.

I am very annoyed. I am not sure what time she was sent to the office, but it was before PE and assembly, so she then spent at least another hour minimum in school feeling very unwell. If the deputy had time to go and inspect her lunchbox surely there was time to call me? What does how much she ate have to do with anything? And how was she even able to tell how much she’d eaten as she didn’t see it when it was full. For the record she ate a cheese sandwich made with one slice of bread, and some strawberries and blueberries. I didn’t give her much that day so all that was left were a few crisps that I put in a box and some nuts.

I don’t know what to do now, but I’ve lost confidence that school will contact me if there is a problem or my children are feeling unwell. Is it because she’s in year 3 now? Even so, surely if the class teacher decides she seems ill enough to send her to the office they should contact me?
Would I be unreasonable to not let it go and to talk to the school about it? But what do I even say to get my point across without seeming arsy or becoming ‘that parent’.
Her attendance at school has been good the past 2 years (they sent a snotty letter home when she was in reception as she was ill a lot)

I don’t want a confrontation but I want to be reassured that if she’s feeling really bad they’ll call me.

OP posts:
flumpybear · 12/09/2016 05:50

There's a big difference between basal temp and normal temp - my children's Basal temp is around the low to mid 36oC - at 38 I would consider this a fever

VaginaJones · 12/09/2016 07:39

You put Nuts in the packed lunch?!? That's a hangable offence at the primary school's in this area. Shock

mysteriousbat · 12/09/2016 17:51

I think the office were just seeing how much she had eaten as kids are often off food when poorly. I dont think they were unreasonable, perhaps slightly strange but understandable.
I have sent my dd in to school numerous times with a bit of calpol. Reason being I don't get paid for days I take off with a sick child so when she is just a bit off colour she goes into school. This is how most parents I work with operate too

Sparklyglitter · 12/09/2016 17:52

In my experience children of 21,7 & 9 - also a childminder and TA for over 10 years if children are slightly unwell it is perfectly reasonable to send them in with Calpol. However I would have told the teacher/TA/Secretary that you had given Calpol and at what time and ask them to call you if they don't improve. Even if you had forgotten to mention this the school should always contact you - even if they think the child is putting it on. That high a is usually apparent by putting the back of your hand on the child's head and they usually looked flushed! I would not be happy!! My confidence in school would have gone down and I would go in and talk to school and ask what happened!

Craigie · 12/09/2016 18:06

I'd say empty lunchbox is a fairly good indicator of a child's health, coz if they're well enough to eat they can't be THAT ill. You know your child better than anyone and you judged her fit for school, so don't blame them.

Also, nuts in a packed lunch box? That's a huge no no. Surprised the school allows it TBH.

dogletsrock · 12/09/2016 18:08

39.6 is a high temperature and they should have rung you to pick her up. Schools want children in so it doesn't affect their attendance figure. A low figure is a factor in an ofsted. You gave calpol in the morning as often that is enough to get them through the day. I would look at their website to see their attendance and illness policy. It should tell you what the procedure is when a child is unwell. I am guessing that afternoon registration had taken place so that wouldn't have affected attendance. Do they have a welfare lady? Did they take her temperature? I would absolutely complain. They have a duty of care which, by what you have said they failed in.

clarehhh · 12/09/2016 18:25

Agree with those who said why did you send her to school ill? With a high temp need to be out of school, for 24 hours.Calpol obviously wore off.

Olympiathequeen · 12/09/2016 18:29

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the official policy is if a child has a fever but is otherwise well, give calpol and send them to school?

HSMMaCM · 12/09/2016 18:36

To people commenting on the nuts. Some schools do allow nuts. If there are no children with reported allergies, then why not?

Katherine2626 · 12/09/2016 18:36

It's hard to get this right; a teacher will sensibly send any child who complains to the office as they can't deal with little people who keep popping up saying they feel poorly in a class that they are trying to teach - the teacher won't asses, she hasn't the time . The office staff then have to use judgement, and very often if a child sits for a while under a watchful eye, cools down if they have been running around, has a drink and a little chat it is amazing how often they perk up, and are fine. If you didn't tell the school, then I don't see how they are at fault if she spent an hour or so sitting quietly under observation. Perhaps they felt if they rang you you would not be able to get there much before the end of school anyway .

Notmuchtosay1 · 12/09/2016 19:31

Tell her to say she's going to throw up next time...they'll soon phone you! To be honest if one of mine actually had a high temperature then I wouldn't send them in.

pollymere · 12/09/2016 20:07

The school weren't being unreasonable. The calpol would have lowered her temperature so if your daughter said she felt unwell, her temperature would have been normal. It sounds like she lasted until after lunch, probably when the calpol started to wear off. If she'd been sent to the office it maybe that the teacher had been monitoring her all day. First step is usually fresh air and drinks or thermometer if the child feels hot. However, if her temperature was only slightly raised at 1pm, and she'd apparently eaten most of her lunch then the decision might be made that a child could last until the end of the day as by that time it would probably be nearly two anyway. You obviously thought she was well enough to go in the first place so the teachers probably felt the same way. Worth noting two things as well; if a parent sends in a sick kid, it will be assumed that they are unable to collect them before the end of the day and that schools will very rarely send kids home unless they vomit. If a kid is burning up or obviously very unwell, then of course parents will be telephoned, but lunchtime is usually a cut off and the amount eaten would be taken into consideration. Hope that helps.

StillNoInspiration · 12/09/2016 20:10

If she has a fever, she is not well enough to go to school.

You do know that you're probably on a "list" somewhere.

sashh · 12/09/2016 20:13

If you can't see the teacher send a note with your child or email or phone them.

Perfectly reasonable to ask a child what they have eaten and to check the lunch box to see if they have eaten food.

Megansmumsie · 12/09/2016 20:19

I personally would be very annoyed and i completely understand why you sent her in- she definitely worsened through the day and i don't believe that the school would not have seen this.

The thing with schools now is that 1 day off school ends up with teachers grabbing you at the end of the day, a dent in the attendance record and usually a letter coming home telling you that your kid has been off school. The policy at the school my DD used to attend was to send them in as it was only a 'temperature' (i know this first hand because like your DD mine had a temperature so i took her into the nurse first thing in the morning to check- she pretty much spoke to my daughter like she was a piece of crap and 'ushered' her on)but kids that had been sick had 48 hours off (even if the sick was as the result of running to fast for example).

Next time make it very clear that she has a temperature, log a phone call with them and if you're still not happy don't take her in.

I hope your DD is feeling better, bless her.

MsJudgemental · 12/09/2016 21:42

She had a temperature. She should not have been in school. Simple. But as others have said, you sent her in when she was ill, then you're angry with the school not sending her home? Yabvu.

MsDinosaur · 12/09/2016 22:00

YABU

clam · 12/09/2016 22:12

I personally would be very annoyed

Why? You would have been the one to blame in the first place, if "blame" is to be apportioned. Schools are not staffed by medics. The OP knew her child was under the weather but neglected to inform the school of that fact. As far as they were concerned, a child came to them early afternoon, having eaten all their lunch. By that time, there probably wasn't long to go until the end of school. Not all places have thermometers, so they wouldn't have known what her temperature was, and it was some time later, after who knows what journey home, that it registered as high. That doesn't mean she had that temp all afternoon.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/09/2016 22:19

Sorry, I'm fairly Hmm about certain school policies about sickness and how strict some parents can be but I wouldn't send my kid to school if they needed calpol to get their temperature down to do so. In fact my parents were called upon today for childcare because his snotty nose from last night had turned into a snotty nose and temperature. By midday he was throwing up.

The school's attitude isn't the issue here, your choice to send your child to school with a temperature that needed medicine to control it is the issue.

Girliefriendlikesflowers · 12/09/2016 22:22

Agree with the general consensus that she should never have been sent in in the first place, I'm not someone who lets dd stay home at the slightest sniff but with a temp of 38 it would be a no brainer.

That said the school should have rung you and am guessing you feel guilty enough already!

Has a GP checked out why she gets fevers so frequently?

clam · 12/09/2016 22:23

I don't particularly blame the OP for chancing it, if on past experience they've got away with it. However, she is bang out of line for considering complaining to the school about it, particularly as she didn't inform them. They were working blind.

Girliefriendlikesflowers · 12/09/2016 22:29

Sorry just skim read some of the posts about whether a child has eaten something being an indicator of if they are really ill. Ime this is not a good indicator at all!!

Last March my dd (10yo) started out with a high temp for a few days which then progressed to a serious throat infection, this resulted in dd being intubated for several days in PICU. The day I had to call an ambulance for her as was so concerned about her breathing she had still been eating!! This is obviously an extreme example but just wanted to point out a child can be seriously unwell but still eat, kids are very good at compensating and coping Sad

She is now fine, thank God.

Susieangel · 12/09/2016 22:38

Sorry, but a temp of 38C is ill. I worked as a school nurse and would have sent any child with a temp of 38 home. Besides it might be infectious.

Lillithxxx · 12/09/2016 23:34

Poorly enough for Calpol but well enough for school? Give me strength...

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 12/09/2016 23:34

Wow some rude unsympathetic people on here. Sometimes a child can make it through the the day on calpol if it's minor, however school have a duty of care and should have checked her temp then phoned you so you could decide. I would be having words. That temp is very high and I would be livid if my child was kept at school in that state. Children can go downhill fast. Schools too often don't take illness seriously. I know someone's child who's temp went up at school they then had a febrile convulsion when they got home. A temp should be take a children should be listened to.