If a teacher sends ill child to the office they should call parent, not inspect their lunchbox

[FamiliarSting]

My daughter is 7 and has just started in year 3.
On Friday morning she was feeling a bit ill, temperature of 38 ish, so I gave her some calpol and sent her in, telling her to see how she goes and to tell the teacher if she was still feeling unwell.

When she got home on Friday afternoon she was much worse, temperature of 39.6, she said she’d been feeling awful all day. She told her teacher in the morning, who apparently told her to see how she feels later (fair enough), she still felt bad in the afternoon so her teacher sent her to the office. I’m not certain what happened next, but the deputy head teacher was involved, she apparently asked to see my daughter’s packed lunch, to check how much food she had eaten, and from this concluded she was not unwell enough to go home, or even for me to be called.

I am very annoyed. I am not sure what time she was sent to the office, but it was before PE and assembly, so she then spent at least another hour minimum in school feeling very unwell. If the deputy had time to go and inspect her lunchbox surely there was time to call me? What does how much she ate have to do with anything? And how was she even able to tell how much she’d eaten as she didn’t see it when it was full. For the record she ate a cheese sandwich made with one slice of bread, and some strawberries and blueberries. I didn’t give her much that day so all that was left were a few crisps that I put in a box and some nuts.

I don’t know what to do now, but I’ve lost confidence that school will contact me if there is a problem or my children are feeling unwell. Is it because she’s in year 3 now? Even so, surely if the class teacher decides she seems ill enough to send her to the office they should contact me?
Would I be unreasonable to not let it go and to talk to the school about it? But what do I even say to get my point across without seeming arsy or becoming ‘that parent’.
Her attendance at school has been good the past 2 years (they sent a snotty letter home when she was in reception as she was ill a lot)

I don’t want a confrontation but I want to be reassured that if she’s feeling really bad they’ll call me.

What redsky and Walter said.

Calpol doesn't last a whole school day. If you send them in on meds (and I have done occasionally, though we do ibuprofen because it lasts longer), write a note to the teacher asking to be contacted if the child gets worse. It'll lower the bar for that phone call, though ours doesn't send them home at every sniff and I'm grateful for that.

One day I was helping when there was a bug going round. 5 children had such notes in our class, and the teacher kept 4 of them all day, going a bit easy on them as needed. It would have been much easier for her to send them all home.

If you repeatedly sent your child in even though she was ill, this would be flagged up and recorded as a child protection issue.

The school I sent my child to told me to send DC in even when sick and let the teachers be the judge. Schools have the power to send parents to court and fine them if they don't send their children to school.

*It is highly unlikely that the headteacher will be 'worried about her Ofsted' in relation to sending a poorly child home. It would have no bearing on Ofsted at all.

I think YABU. You sent her to school knowing that she wasn't well. Maybe if you had let the school know that she had a high temperature in the morning, that you had given her Calpol and that you would like them to phone you if she became unwell, you might be in the right. However, you sent your child to school poorly and didn't feel the need to inform them.*

Actually all absences including illness absences are scrutinised by Ofsted. They don't care if a child has a chronic illness, they just say that school should be pushing for higher attendance.

OP you really should have told the school office either in over son or by calling / emailing. That way they would have been aware of the situation. If it had been me or one of my colleagues you spoke to you would have been advised to come in at lunchtime to give another dose of calpol.

I think it will help if you let the teacher know that she was dosed on Calpol and might feel worse later on.

Dialogue is often the best thing.

Still Rabbit - it was after lunch, so afternoon registration would have already taken place, therefore it wouldn't affect attendance data hence why it is unlikely any teacher would have been worried about Ofsted.

If you send her in dosed up on calpol and don't tell anyone you've done it, then the school aren't going to know. Are they?

If she was complaining about feeling ill/hot then all they can do is ask her if she minds them putting a hand on her forehead to see if she feels hot. Even if the child feels a little warm, it's not clear cut whether to phone home or not. Especially if it appears that it has just come on and they're ok otherwise.

Teachers aren't mind readers, you know. Or nurses. You need to tell them things like this. Otherwise, they will think it has just come on at 1.30 after lunch when the child complains of feeling ill and won't have a clue that they've actually been ill since they woke up in the morning and so will only keep an eye on them until hometime, unless they take a turn for the worse.

The school won't have a policy on sending children in with a temperature. They expect parents to use their common sense and communicate things like this to the school.

And they aren't 'inspecting' lunchboxes, it's just a clumsy way of trying to gauge the likelihood that they've been ill and flagging for hours, or whether it's just come on.

If you'd told them that she'd been ill since the morning, that you'd given her calpol and she seemed fine, but that if she seemed peaky after the calpol wore off to phone you, then they'd have known what to do. Wouldn't they?

You could have emailed, telephoned or sent your daughter in with a note.

If you don't keep the school informed they're less likely to reach a decision you're happy with.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being "that parent" fwiw and I'm a teacher. If you want to call them, call. How much your daughter ate isn't the most accurate way of determining how she is feeling. A lot of people lose their appetite, a lot of people don't. I can eat through pretty much anything personally

I agree with other posters re letting the school know in advance though. It must be hard for schools to decide when to call home so I'd let them know to always call you and let you decide.

And as pp pointed out- this was after afternoon registration so the posters wittering about Ofsted are way off the point.

What a bizarre school!

I had always assumed all schools had a half day on a Friday?

I'm also surprised the school allows nuts in packed lunches. And allow a 7yr old to take charge of administering her own Calpol.

Hope she's feeling much better now.

I think you're bring hypocritical here. You sent her in when not quite 100%. Fair enough - we have to make those decisions as parents sometimes. And sometimes we get it wrong. Why are you holding teachers to higher standards than your own? They also have to make a difficult call re children and illness. And if anything they're more likely to get it wrong because they don't know your child so well. Not fair to blame them for making the same decision as you.

All schools having a half day on a Friday?!!!

I wish!

I wouldn't give my child Calpol because they were unwell and then send them to school.

1. Calpol doesn't last all day and then they are stuck at school feeling crap
2. Your child will infect everyone else.

If you think she's well enough for school then I'm not sure how you can complain that they agreed with you.

Also, whilst you might be sure that you child isn't one of these, the school is very used to children demanding that their parent is called, "because Mummy said I could go home if I felt unwell." That turns out to be a parent who lacks the moral gumption to make a decision themselves and pass the problem on to the teacher, who isn't a nurse, and frankly has a million other things to deal with apart from a clearly healthy persistent child coming up every 5 minutes. 9 times out of 10 you can tell quite easily who's ill and who isn't - and yes, you watch them surreptitiously to see how they're interacting at playtime. That's not to say we get it right every time, but we get just as much stick from parents who don't want to be called (and a few who deliberately turn off their phones! I kid you not) as from those who do.

I think schools are often quite reluctant to send kids home unless they are seriously unwell because a lot do try it on. Often when you say 'see how you feel in a bit' the child will happily go out to play and forget they were sick. And one child getting sent home tends to lead to others in the class then 'becoming unwell'. Obviously there are cases when children aren't pulling the wool but it can be difficult to know. A high temp I would expect a child to be sent home as schools generally don't give Calpol so it would need to be treated at home.
I have sent my kids in after Calpol if they have felt ok and wanted to go in but I have let the teacher know to ring me if they aren't feeling good later. So I think you should have told the teacher they'd had Calpol and to ring you if your dd was feeling bad later but equally I don't think the school should have kept a child in with a high temp so yanbu on that.

I can't believe you sent a child into school with a temperature of 38. I'm honestly shocked at that. I understand some children can appear fine with a temperature that high but they are still not well enough to cope with a whole day at school and they are potentially infectious to others.

That is what was told to me that schools have to improve attendance rates. The best thing to do is bring your child in and we be the judge of whether she is sick. Parents are being taken to court because of to many sick days. Attendance should be over 95% but 90% is acceptable.

My DC school is terrible for sending children home before 2nd register. Last year my DC got every illness going round, three times they called up just after 2nd register I was not happy and made that very clear the third timme I emailed Ofsted she's 7 and doesn't lie (felt sick at assembly 9:30) so three times she was sick all over her table and work books

DC2 had chicken pox spots appear all over her face and I still wasn't called (apparently that's how she was sent to school). I'm a SAHM and they know this not that it should make a difference when a child is ill. when If they do it again I'll be writing about the negligence and lack of safeguarding. May even have a solicitor letter to the council. I was threatened to be fined when DC1 had chicken pox I kept her off (you know it be contagious and life-threatening) and told to take her to the doctors for a fucking note!

Lovely school other than the new head the old head was amazing cared so mug about all the DC and a lot of the teachers are leaving are leaving. Teachers were all shocked when I told them luckily when I've needed them to have the DC in a full after school club they've been able to stay. DC3 was rushed to hospital and kept in for a while head knew all about DC3 and still called and threatened me luckily I'd had a few hours sleep so I slammed her down and didn't bow down like my friend did when she got the same phone call!

And all the times I've sent my kids in after Calpol they've been fine when it's worn off. There is a difference between a bit of a sore throat and a temp and a full on fever where the child feels really rough and drowsy.
If my kids are well enough to go in they get sent in. That is what all the letters from the school tell you to do. You have to be able to trust that the school will send them home if they worsen though.

The school did exactly what you did.

How can they be wrong and you be right?

She used a thermometer and they don't have one at school to use.

they don't have one at school to use.

Do we know that? We have those forehead strip ones. Not sure how accurate they are, but they can give a general idea.

You knew that your child was ill, you knew that she had a fever and you knew that she needed calpol before school. You then decided that she was well enough to be at school.

The school knew none of this key information and presumably aren't equipped with a crystal ball or trained mind readers. They then decided, as you did, that your child was well enough to be in school.

How on earth can the school, without all of the information that you had, be criticised for not sending your child home when the parent who had all of the information needed to decide that she was too ill to be in school made the decision that the child was well enough to be at school?