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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If a teacher sends ill child to the office they should call parent, not inspect their lunchbox

174 replies

FamiliarSting · 11/09/2016 14:41

My daughter is 7 and has just started in year 3.
On Friday morning she was feeling a bit ill, temperature of 38 ish, so I gave her some calpol and sent her in, telling her to see how she goes and to tell the teacher if she was still feeling unwell.

When she got home on Friday afternoon she was much worse, temperature of 39.6, she said she’d been feeling awful all day. She told her teacher in the morning, who apparently told her to see how she feels later (fair enough), she still felt bad in the afternoon so her teacher sent her to the office. I’m not certain what happened next, but the deputy head teacher was involved, she apparently asked to see my daughter’s packed lunch, to check how much food she had eaten, and from this concluded she was not unwell enough to go home, or even for me to be called.

I am very annoyed. I am not sure what time she was sent to the office, but it was before PE and assembly, so she then spent at least another hour minimum in school feeling very unwell. If the deputy had time to go and inspect her lunchbox surely there was time to call me? What does how much she ate have to do with anything? And how was she even able to tell how much she’d eaten as she didn’t see it when it was full. For the record she ate a cheese sandwich made with one slice of bread, and some strawberries and blueberries. I didn’t give her much that day so all that was left were a few crisps that I put in a box and some nuts.

I don’t know what to do now, but I’ve lost confidence that school will contact me if there is a problem or my children are feeling unwell. Is it because she’s in year 3 now? Even so, surely if the class teacher decides she seems ill enough to send her to the office they should contact me?
Would I be unreasonable to not let it go and to talk to the school about it? But what do I even say to get my point across without seeming arsy or becoming ‘that parent’.
Her attendance at school has been good the past 2 years (they sent a snotty letter home when she was in reception as she was ill a lot)

I don’t want a confrontation but I want to be reassured that if she’s feeling really bad they’ll call me.

OP posts:
Original poster
FamiliarSting · 11/09/2016 16:37

I am not arguing that I should have told the teacher that she was a bit unwell.

I have listened when you've all said I shouldn't have sent her in at all with a fever, but even so, she worsened considerably, she could easily have gone from hunky dory in the morning to feeling that ill and the outcome would have still be the same.

It doesn't change how they handled an ill child being sent to the office. The teacher, who had seen her all day, thought her ill enough to send to the office but the deputy head decided otherwise based on her lunch box, not having spent most of the day with her.

OP posts:
larrygrylls · 11/09/2016 16:40

38 is a significant fever and means there is either a virus or bacterial infection present. And, given that fevers follow a circadian rhythm, it was only likely to go up. You just cannot send a child in with a fever. Even if your child is robust, you can infect others who are far more vulnerable.

School should have sent her home immediately, too. As soon as they ascertained she had a fever.

tiggytape · 11/09/2016 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HSMMaCM · 11/09/2016 16:41

You should tell the school your child has had calpol for two reasons:

  1. they know she might be unwell and need to go home.
  2. they may need to inform emergency healthcare that she already has calpol in her system, to avoid an overdose.
RainyDayBear · 11/09/2016 16:41

About the lunchbox, I teach secondary and if I have a child who feels poorly my first question is usually "did you eat breakfast / lunch". I imagine the deputy head night have checked it in case shed not eaten and that was the cause of her feeling ill, but I doubt it was the reason she decided your DD was well enough to stay in school.

RainyDayBear · 11/09/2016 16:42

*she'd, not shed, obviously!

bumsexatthebingo · 11/09/2016 16:42

A child with a temp that high needs it bringing down though - whether it has just come on or not. If the school can't administer Calpol (most don't) then the child needed to be sent home.

thisagain · 11/09/2016 16:43

I think that there has been a lesson learned - don't send your child to school a bit unwell, hoping she'll perk up and expect them to monitor the situation as you would. Rightly or wrongly, they simply don't. My DD occasionally wakes up with a migraine but usually with carpool, it will be loads better by break and completely better by lunch. In those circumstances I gave her calpol, sent her in and made the school aware and stressed that it she wanted to come home she definitely should, bearing in mind that I had said she could stay off and she didn't want to.

tiggytape · 11/09/2016 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YoungWillieMcBride · 11/09/2016 16:47

Bottom line is that all of this would have been avoided if the OP had told the school what had happened.

Some people are saying that, with the knowledge that the OP has provided here, they would have made a different judgement call. But the school wasn't privy to that information and everything Tiggy has just posted in absolutely correct in my experience.

If the OP had given the school the facts, they might have made a different decision. They can't be criticised for not acting as the OP would have liked when they didn't have the information that she had. That's it really.

Cherrysoup · 11/09/2016 16:54

YABU. If the child needs calpol, she's not well enough for school. You're wasting the teacher's time by sending her in. Calpol doesn't last all day. If a child tells me they're unwell, the first thing I ask is what they've eaten, have they drunk plenty of water, did they just have PE (or about to have it!) and will they survive til next period. I'm in secondary and sometimes the reasons aren't to do with being unwell per se.

YoungWillieMcBride · 11/09/2016 16:58

Tbh, I don't think there's a problem with sending a child into school after a dose of calpol.

The OP is right in that many children do perk up once they're in school and with their friends and when the calpol wears off, they don't show any further symptoms.

I probably would keep my daughter off with a temperature of 38+, but we're all different, aren't we?

The only real mistake the OP has made is not telling the school all the information they needed and then criticising the way they responded to the situation. She should be feeling a bit guilty that they couldn't make a fully informed decision, rather than getting cross with them because they didn't.

mmgirish · 11/09/2016 17:00

YABU. Don't send a sick child to school and expect school staff to act like doctors.

mygorgeousmilo · 11/09/2016 17:03

You should have told the teacher at the beginning of the day. I can't see how that was physically impossible to do? YABU

Rosa · 11/09/2016 17:06

At our school you don't send a child in with a temperature..end of

yeOldeTrout · 11/09/2016 17:07

I don't think sending her in on Calpol was wrong, but obviously it was a hard call for OP so I don't see that OP is justified in getting arsey that the school found it a close call what to do for best, too. An unnecessary hour of your DD feeling unwell.. really this is worth losing all faith in the school??

I have been on the other side... school rang me to say DD was unwell. I took her out for an hour, decided she was just malingering, & sent her back. I guess schools can't get it right no matter what they do.

WhateverWillBe · 11/09/2016 17:08

YABU, you've no business sending a child with a temperature into school in the first place.

Calpol is not magic potion...it temporarily brings their temperature down...the reason for the temperature and the illness will still be there Hmm

MrsGsnow18 · 11/09/2016 17:14

Schools are very reluctant to send children home without a very good reason. If the school didn't know that she had been unwell/had a temperature and had been given calpol that morning then wouldn't have know that she was genuinely feeling unwell.
Most schools call parents for very obvious high temperature signs/vomiting etc.
If they sent home every child that said they felt unwell lots would use it as a tactic to get sent home and also parents would be fed up of having their children sent home for sometimes no reason.
Next time just write a quick note to say she had been unwell/given medication and to contact you if she feels unwell.

pepperpot99 · 11/09/2016 17:15

I'm guessing the OP sent her dd in because she didn't want to take a day off work. Teachers are free childcare/doctors aren't they? Hmm

And if your dd is sick, it's pretty selfish to sent her in so she can infect all the other children. But you didn't care about that did you OP? every single post of yours illustrates your absolute dereliction of responsibility here. You re spectacularly in denial about your duty here.

StillRabbit · 11/09/2016 17:17

Still Rabbit - it was after lunch, so afternoon registration would have already taken place, therefore it wouldn't affect attendance data hence why it is unlikely any teacher would have been worried about Ofsted.

Brightbluebells is right there...my mistake.

bumsexatthebingo · 11/09/2016 17:21

How can the op be u for sending a child in with a temp reduced by Calpol but the school are right for keeping her there with an even higher temp? The op has accepted she should have spoken to the teacher in the morning.
Surely the first aider at the school would at least feel the child to check their temp so would have been aware it was very high?
Even with a couple of hours to the end of the day a child with a temp that high needs treating.

SharonfromEON · 11/09/2016 17:22

I have had my DS come home from school a couple of times really school at the end of the day..The first he was fine in the morning tonsillitis by hometime..

The second I had been ill.. I had seen my DS at lunchtime to give anti biotics ... ( infected finger ) he cried when he saw me in office..Office staff asked teacher if he had been ok..He had ..By home time he was considerably worse..

I don't blame the school..Its one of those things..

I think how much lunch was eaten would be part of the assessment.

flumpybear · 11/09/2016 17:22

Temperature -no school ..... If you really need to send them in the firstly tell the teacher the whole story, secondly tell the office that you'll ring mid morning and see how the child is, if unwell to ring immediately

They're not mind readers

bumsexatthebingo · 11/09/2016 17:23

If the op was so concerned about work she wouldn't be annoyed they hadn't sent her child home. What a nasty response!

Sara107 · 11/09/2016 17:24

Do the school not take her temperature? At dD's school? They check with an ear thermometer which is really a better test than looking in the lunch box! But I think you should have contacted the school in the morning and explained the situation and make it clear they should call you if she doesn't perk up. If dD is complaint of anything I always mention it or email the school office.