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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder (obsessively) why someone would un-tag herself from a fb photo?

140 replies

MerchantofVenice · 09/09/2016 19:49

Just that, really. I posted a completely unremarkable, cute pic of my ds. I tagged my friend, because we spent the day with her and her girls. The pic was only of my ds - but it's quite normal to tag the people you were on the outing with, surely?

I just don't get it. I'm sure I did tag her - but now there's no tag on the post. What are the reasons for doing this? Is she ashamed of being my friend? ? She's commented on the pic, saying what a nice time we had at the park. .. So why remove the tag? Is this a thing? Am I going mad?

OP posts:

MindSweeper · 09/09/2016 23:39

gabs isn't OP is talking about tagging them in the photo, not tagging who she's with.

1st photo: tagging who you're with

2nd photo: tagging in photo

to wonder (obsessively) why someone would un-tag herself from a fb photo?

MindSweeper · 09/09/2016 23:40

The first one notifies the person tagged and shows up as a link

riceuten · 09/09/2016 23:42

Because this notifies friends and she didn't want that to happen? Maybe she was unhappy with the photo?

There are bigger fish to fry in the world.

GabsAlot · 09/09/2016 23:43

she explained what she meant a few posts ago she said with not tagged in the photo itself

KayTee87 · 09/09/2016 23:43

She wasn't even in the picture. I have to approve tags of myself and regularly don't approve pictures onto my profile because I don't want hundreds of ugly pictures on it.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 09/09/2016 23:45

1,900 FB FRIENDS!!!!!

I have a hard enough time keeping up with my paltry 126 or whatever it is!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/09/2016 23:47

Hearts Only because of various hobbies and interests I'm into certain cat breeds, some TV shows etc.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/09/2016 23:47

Gabs I think most of us understand what the OP did, but that doesn't stop us disagreeing

Spring2016 · 09/09/2016 23:57

I always untag myself from pictures. I see pictures in my feed, and see no reason tagging pictures. I only appreciate tagging in a large group where somebody, usually a group administrator, needs to inform me about something.

PurpleTango · 09/09/2016 23:58

I don't mind being tagged in things I am interested in like a friend tagging my name under an event to bring my attention to the event. I have no issue with friends tagging me in pics of me or my children. I would untag my name from a pic of somebody else's children mainly because other peoples children don't really interest me.

pontificationcentral · 10/09/2016 00:08

if you were posting it on your timeline, she would have it come up on her feed anyway. I get to see all the crap my friends post. To tag me is to make sure that your pictures show up in all of MY friends posts. Why would my fb friends want to see a picture of your son?

I loathe being tagged on fb pictures, whether I am in the picture or not. I want to be the one that decides what pictures of me (or not of me) that my friends see.

I don't mind being tagged on events, in a 'you may be interested in this' but I don't want to be tagged in any photos that I don't tag myself.

I hate social media. But it makes a lovely stalking opportunity.

Crispbutty · 10/09/2016 00:24

1900????

I have 63, but they are only family or people I actually know, and are friends who have my phone number, socialise with, and would recognise in the supermarket!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 10/09/2016 00:32

I have met about 20 of them in RL. It's mainly the cat thing - I follow hundreds of pages and am in lots of groups, it kind of goes from there!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 10/09/2016 00:47

The most astounding thing about this thread is that it's got to over 100 posts.

Annie592 · 10/09/2016 00:51

I'm clearly in the minority here, but what the OP did, to me is exactly what Facebook is for, for lots of people anyway. 'I had a lovely day with such and such doing whatever'- with/without a photo. And the friend then gets that message/notification (My Fb terminology may be wrong) and I completely agree, there are loads of different reasons she might think- actually I don't really want that on my timeline- in which case she can, and did on this occasion untag herself. Lots of people have given good examples of why she might have done this - and I will have untagged myself in things for many of these reasons, but I would never think 'oh my god- how DARE she, what an awful thing to have done, how annoying, how BORING that she's tagged me in this' which some people seem to be suggesting may be the case, which does just seem a bit harsh. I think if I did think like that, I would probably come off Facebook (and I am someone who rarely uses it anyway and v rarely tags anyone), as I think you'd just forever be irritated by it.

SandyY2K · 10/09/2016 00:54

When you get tagged in a pic... lots of comments come through your stream and they are comments from your friends, as opposed to her friends.

Some people don't even like being tagged in photos they are in.

I agree that there's a lot of agressive responses for no good reason here as well.

ItsABanana · 10/09/2016 01:15

I share all kinds of crap on FB and am forever commenting on other people's statuses and putting myself out there and oversharing with random thoughts.
However, I've always had the complete lockdown on my profile and if you're not a friend, you shouldn't be able to see it.
Friends being people I know in RL.
Looking at my FB ramblings, you'd think I was up for it all. However, I never upload pictures of other people's kids. Only my own.
I'd be wondering do you know everyone in my friends list? Nope, more than likely not.
So easier to just say no to other kids photos.

ItsABanana · 10/09/2016 01:16

When you get tagged in a pic... lots of comments come through your stream and they are comments from your friends, as opposed to her friends.

This. You'll get people you don't even know commenting on your kids. This doesn't always sit right with some.

londonrach · 10/09/2016 01:33

Because its not of her, will appeal on her fb wall. Id untag myself if someone did that and have done! No idea why not. Id have thought you have tagged me by mistake.

Floss881 · 10/09/2016 01:36

I've untagged myself from photos before... Mostly because I got sick of receiving alerts saying "such and such you've never met before likes your picture". Repeatedly. It's so irritating but maybe that's just me

USBstuck · 10/09/2016 01:52

Is there anything worse than Facebook politics. My advice would be learn not to give a shit.

Ameliablue · 10/09/2016 07:34

blush I have met about 20 of them in RL. It's mainly the cat thing - I follow hundreds of pages and am in lots of groups, it kind of goes from there!

This is exactly why I don't like being tagged. I'm only friends with people I actually know but I know other friends have hundreds of people they barely know, so why would I want something about me to be seen by hundreds of people that I may or may not know. I've also discovered many connections between people on Facebook that I didn't know existed, so I think it is generally better to not over use tags.

Original poster

MerchantofVenice · 10/09/2016 08:24

Wow! Lots of messages again! The one that stood out was mindsweeper wrongly explaining that I meant tagging in the photo itself rather than in post that then includes photo. Thanks to Gabs for correcting!

Seriously, I know I worded the title wrong, but we must have established by now that I meant tagging someone in a post (a post which did concern them) and then attaching a photo related to the event. I maintain that's not weird.

So those of you who think the above is weird... When you write a new post, and fb asks you who you were with [this happens with non-photo posts remember], does it seem weird then to tag someone who was directly linked to the subject matter? In fact, now I come to think of it, if you so much as type a word that resembles a friend's name, fb starts suggesting who you might like to mention.

Fb is clearly set up to connect people - it tries to get you to link to people, to mention them. if you deliberately want to avoid that, fine. But it's not odd to do it.

The whole reason I was puzzled is because people tag each other all the time in posts and I've never noticed anyone un-tag themselves. I phoned a friend and asked her to remove a photo of me (untagged as it happens) because it was so unflattering (!) but that's different.

The photo is a red herring, isn't it? I'm talking about tagging a friend in a post and then attaching a photo.

Anyway, I've run out of energy. Wasn't prepared for the inexplicable arsiness of some posters.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 10/09/2016 08:33

It is very very rare that I "accept" a tag on Facebook. Why? Because I don't want to.

BaffledMummy · 10/09/2016 08:48

I have a relative that tags me in photos when I wasn't even there, I think to make sure that I see it. I find it irrationally irritating. I Will write a comment (how lovely) or 'like' the post to let her know I've seen it then de-tag myself. I don't want to upset her as I know it's done with best intentions but, my goodness, its annoying! Just stop it. She's probably as irritated by you posting it as you are with her for de tagging herself. You started it. YABU.

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