Speaking as a man....

[LumpyMcBentface]

'Man here'

'Male opinion'

Please just stop it. Unless your post has something to do with your genitals (in which case probably don't post it) it has no relevance to what you are about to say.

We won't all stop, draw breath, and think 'finally! A man's opinion. We can all stop debating now'.

It just makes you look like a pompous mansplaining tosser.

Feeling a little 'territorial' over use of Pan.

On a site where the vast majority of users are female, maybe some men feel they have to be upfront, to reduce the risk of other posters assuming they are women and being pissed off if they find out they were wrong?

Women know no more about what men really think, feel or experience than men do for women.

On occasion, it's relevant to mention that.

Women do not have perfect knowledge of what it is like to be a man, but, on the whole, they are more attuned to men's beliefs, attitudes, feelings, etc, than the other way around. This isn't something I just think, it is proven.

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/he-speaks-she-speaks/201502/what-s-behind-women-s-intuition

This is why it is a complete waste of time for men to talk about the male pov on rare woman-dominated forums. Generally, we already know.

Dad I might have had my tongue in my cheek with my last posting.

maudlin But even if that is the case, it does not follow that EVERY woman is more attuned or that SOME men aren't as attuned to women's beliefs, attitudes.

Pan, if you speak as an individual then of course I don't always know what you are going to say. you might be about to say you love or hate cheese, or think there will be a nuclear apocalypse next week. I don't know.

But if men in general say "as a man" meaning "as opposed to all you women" they are usually talking about rules of thumb, about sex-related differences of POV in male / female relationships. And their positions are usually a. predictable, and b. already smaller in scope and comprehension than women's.

If you say "I hate cheese" you are unlikely to say "As a man, I hate cheese."

If you say, "As a man, I find all this hand wringing over a few bits and pieces of washing up to be a waste of emotion and completely over dramatising something relatively trivial in a relationship" - WE KNOW MEN THINK THAT ALREADY and THEY, by the way, are the ones missing the point

Erm..with respect Maud - that's article is not proof of anything - though it is evidence of how easily pop-psychology can be made consumable, quote surveys/select data etc.

Overall, I'd suspect you are right though. Still, your grand scale dismissal is surprising.

StillDrSeth

alright, Dr NAMALT, perhaps, in theory, it is possible for men to listen to women and understand their POV. It is unlikely that they'll be the ones on women-dominated forums going "As a man..."

Blast! I caught Pan's tongue in cheek, then briefly thought you might be being equally tongue-in-cheek, then decided, no obviously as you are a man you probably just missed Pan's subtlety, so I ought to put you straight. So, I mansplained to a man!

perhaps, in theory, it is possible for men to listen to women and understand their POV.

High praise indeed!

I was once told off by another poster for doing the "DH says...." thing. Then she apologised, as she found my first posts on the thread from hours ago where I had given, and then discussed, my own pov. I have never forgotten it, but also learnt only to give dg/dd/df/dm/etc opinions after I'd given my own.

If you say, "As a man, I find all this hand wringing over a few bits and pieces of washing up to be a waste of emotion and completely over dramatising something relatively trivial in a relationship" - WE KNOW MEN THINK THAT ALREADY and THEY, by the way, are the ones missing the point

I think you've set up a bit of a straw-man example there. Obviously, saying "as a man, I discount your experience as a woman" is ridiculously arrogant. But by your logic, no woman should post here about her perspective, because another woman would say "but as I am a woman, I already know what women think."

My experiences as a man will obviously have some similarity with other men, but will also have some unique features, so don't tell me you already know what my perspective is. I can imagine, in some discussions, highlighting that my perspective is from a man's experience could be useful. Although I agree that in a lot of discussions it's not really relevant, so should not need to be brought to the fore.

So true maudlin

Actually one of the arguments I had with an x before he dumped me was that women need men's approval more than men need women's and he disagreed. Kind of staggering really, that level of blissful ignorance of life through the eyes of a woman.

Sneaking on to post link to my 'mansplaining' poem. The Mansplaining Cowboy

We get a lot a women in the Dadsnet zone on here but they don't cause too much trouble.

Tight that's brilliant! Doesn't mn have a page of commonly used terms and acronyms? That needs to be on it against 'mansplaining'. With a mention of the delicious irony.

*tiggy

Nothing wrong with it! The guys who post say they're guys at the beginning because there are a lot of women on mn and it's usually women posting, so they are just giving us the information. I know when I read a post, I assume it's a woman posting because it usually is!

They're not doing it to offer their authoritative male opinion, good grief, they're just letting us know who they are since so many of the posters are women. Be secure in yourself, and you won't be so offended by things that are not offensive.

Trouble is, all the women on here think all the other posters are women too. So they are just letting you politely know that they are not a woman.

Why is it a bad thing for a man to be mistaken for a woman?

Maybe they think they might be accused of misleading other posters, MrsHathaway?

Like, who is harmed if I assume a poster is female? There are lots of women using male usernames so although I assumed DadDadDad was male I didn't assume the same of DrSeth or Andrew.

I assume MNers are English and female and have children, until told otherwise. If we're talking about parking wars highly intellectual and philosophical topics then it doesn't matter if I'm wrong.

You're all also very, very beautiful.

As a man, I struggle with the idea of being beautiful...

Maybe they think they might be accused of misleading other posters, MrsHathaway?

But for most threads the incorrect assumption wouldn't matter.

When it does matter, posters are usually quick to point it out ("I'm in a different time zone btw so it's lunchtime here", "DH and I are both male fwiw").

It's not a bad thing. Good grief, drumming up drama and conflict where there is none. Often I bet they tell us they're a guy precisely because they want a woman's perspective on whatever problem they're posting about. Nothing wrong with that.

And t's not that they're worried they'll be mistaken for a woman, it's to let us know that they're a guy because usually it's women who are posting. It's an information thing, has nothing to do with oppressing women, give it a rest. I'm a woman and I despise oppression of women in any form but even I am tired of this constant bashing of men as if they as a group are our deadly enemy. So what if a guy lets us know he's a guy posting on mn? Is that the most important issue of your life? Sad.

But those eyelashes, DadCubed!