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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Speaking as a man....

266 replies

LumpyMcBentface · 09/09/2016 09:47

'Man here'

'Male opinion'

Please just stop it. Unless your post has something to do with your genitals (in which case probably don't post it) it has no relevance to what you are about to say.

We won't all stop, draw breath, and think 'finally! A man's opinion. We can all stop debating now'.

It just makes you look like a pompous mansplaining tosser.

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 09/09/2016 17:48

Confused It isn't man-hating to say that I don't care if a poster is a man or not so I don't need telling.

It's a bit "I'm vegan, you know" on a thread about homework deadlines.

GiddyGiddyGoat · 09/09/2016 17:51

Little, Thank God these poor men have you to stick up for them / explain their motives to us etc. (without even asking you to!) Grin

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 09/09/2016 17:53

I always knew it was Andrew of GG but what I really want to know is where you're from! What is "GG"?

Golders Green?
Gretna Green?
Greenwich Garages?
Green Gables??

StealthPolarBear · 09/09/2016 17:57

Have people read and been suitably impressed by tiggy poem

StealthPolarBear · 09/09/2016 17:58

Just realised that on that thread that could sound really snarky, I promise it's not :o

MaudlinNamechange · 09/09/2016 18:01

""Obviously, saying "as a man, I discount your experience as a woman" is ridiculously arrogant."

I know. You wonder how they have the face to do it, don't you? and yet... they do. Often.

"My experiences as a man will obviously have some similarity with other men, but will also have some unique features, so don't tell me you already know what my perspective is."

Covered that upthread. you weren't listening, obv. Quelle surprise.

"my experience as an individual is....." isn't something people bother to say. We generally assume that that's what we're getting - but it's different from announcing you are speaking from a specific gendered perspective.

(On the other hand - even on mn - it is far more worth giving the "from a woman's POV" piece as it is heard less often - however that's a separate point)

I am not saying "I am not interested in what men as people have to say, as I have heard it all before". I am saying, "When men assume that women have the blessed luxury of being ignorant of the male POV, and think they are doing us a favour by sharing it, they are just revealing their own ignorance."

DadDadDad · 09/09/2016 18:02

Actually, Giddy, in any thread, I do appreciate other posters sticking up for my point of view! Nothing to do with being a man, it just makes for a nicer forum when we support those we agree with, especially when others are attacking.

Not that I really feel attacked on this thread (apart from Venus claiming that nothing any man has ever posted on MN has ever been helpful).

MaudlinNamechange · 09/09/2016 18:03

"High praise indeed!hmm"

I am not here to praise men. I'm on mumsnet. I'm having a break from it. I'm here to indulge myself in some straight talking about my own experiences, my friend's experiences, and my analysis of them. On Monday I'll be back on duty in the office. Praising men.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 09/09/2016 18:07

Tiggy I am suitably impressed Grin

No seriously that is v good and v funny.

LittleBeautyBelle · 09/09/2016 18:09

Gid, you're welcome. Glad you are able to comprehend a bit better now. haha.

What a petty thread.

Fight the battles of oppression that actually exist and matter.

DadDadDad · 09/09/2016 18:11

Covered that upthread. you weren't listening, obv. Quelle surprise.

Well, that's one possibility. The other is that I may or may not have read every post here, and didn't necessarily feel that I had to revisit all your earlier posts before addressing a particular comment. But if you want to go with the stereotype that men don't listen, I can't stop you! Quel dommage.

GiddyGiddyGoat · 09/09/2016 18:17

I'm sure you're a v nice chap Dadx3... and I can see that you're aiming for something of a lighthearted tone - but I don't really care too much about what you like and what makes you feel good. This thread is discussing something of interest of general application - no one has "attacked' anyone, least of all you personally - so why make it about you?? Women in general have to do far too much being nice and making people feel good - I don't want to do that on here thanks. That doesn't make me rude and it certainly doesn't make you someone who needs "sticking up for".

Ego147 · 09/09/2016 18:21

This thread is discussing something of interest of general application - no one has "attacked' anyone, least of all you personally - so why make it about you

He isn't. He's just saying it's nice to have someone agreeing with his POV. That's not making it about him.

GiddyGiddyGoat · 09/09/2016 18:24

Well, speaking as a woman... he's getting on my tits now.

Andrewofgg · 09/09/2016 18:25

HeartsTrumpsDiamonds Golden Guineas. In my dreams.

irelephant · 09/09/2016 18:28

What on earth is with the quelle shite Grin

I never ask DH's opinion if I want one I ring my Mam then both my sisters then I ask on here.

If anyone needs any help with fitting Windows I may consult him.

LittleBeautyBelle · 09/09/2016 18:28

Gid, I doubt he'd want anywhere near your tits...(speaking as a woman and human being.)

GiddyGiddyGoat · 09/09/2016 18:32

Ooh Ooh, why won't someone stick up for meeeeeee.

Very sisterly Little.

MaudlinNamechange · 09/09/2016 18:32

"The other is that I may or may not have read every post here, and didn't necessarily feel that I had to revisit all your earlier posts before addressing a particular comment."

I would. I would feel exactly that. If I am going to take issue with something that someone has said, by "bringing to their attention" distinctions you think they might not have noticed, and given the luxury of having everything they said available to read, I would make damn sure I was saying something new / pertinent before adopting an argumentative / corrective tone. Actually I had seen, developed, addressed and disposed of the point you were trying to make. If I had done what you did I would feel pretty bloody stupid. but I wouldn't have.

Deciding that it doesn't matter that you didn't bother is pretty much the definition of the kind of arrogance I'm talking about.

" But if you want to go with the stereotype that men don't listen, I can't stop you!"

Well if you wanted to stop me, you could try listening. Or if you don't want to stop me and prefer to live with the stereotype - enhancing it even - tant pis.

Evergreen17 · 09/09/2016 18:32

Agree
I have never started a sentence with: from a woman's perspective
Shut up

GiddyGiddyGoat · 09/09/2016 18:34

It's ok, Little will explain to us exactly what he meant to say...

Ego147 · 09/09/2016 18:35

TBH - I think the only time your 'status' is relevant is when your 'experience' is relevant to a thread. And even then, your 'experience' is just yours.

There are threads on here where somone's experiences are relevant to a thread. If you know someone has that 'experience', it does add a certain perspective to it. I work in education, used to do a lot of science work and there's something else about me that I have probably mentioned on relevant threads. Where it's relevant. But it's my perspective. My experiences are different to others.

I rarely see the 'as a man' threads though - but I don't go on relationships where I think it might be more prevalent?

GiddyGiddyGoat · 09/09/2016 18:36

It's OK. Little will explain what it is that he meant to say...

GiddyGiddyGoat · 09/09/2016 18:36

Sorry. didn't need to say that twice!

Outtaker · 09/09/2016 18:40

Deep down I suspecting that those who are complaining about 'as a man' posts would far rather this could be a policed as a woman-only space!...only clearly it can't.

Obviously all men are different, but that's not to say that men, by virtue of their sex, will have a different perspective on various things. Where that's the case, I see no harm in a man identifying as such. If it's not relevant then he'll be shot down soon enough!