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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to wish DH would keep his morning wood to himself?!

38 replies

Niggit · 08/09/2016 16:27

Mainly at weekends when I don't have to get up early. I'll stumble to the loo for an early pee, still half asleep and looking forward to snuggling back down again for another hour or two, but as soon as I'm back in bed, there he is, wriggling against my back and prodding me in the kidneys.

I swear, one of these mornings I'm going to snap it off and attack him with the soggy end.

OP posts:
UmbongoUnchained · 08/09/2016 16:29

Yabu! Morning sex is the best Grin

hellsbellsmelons · 08/09/2016 16:30

Sorry but I'm with Umbongo
Love love love early morning sex.
We are at our most sensitive!

ImNotJoeMyNameIsHarry · 08/09/2016 16:30

I get this as well, I snuggle up a bit higher so it's resting beneath your bump area then in your back so you're sat on it in a way?

ImNotJoeMyNameIsHarry · 08/09/2016 16:31

That came out wrong. my dp gets this NOT ME!

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 08/09/2016 16:32

I'm with you OP, I never sleep well and always wake up exhausted, so being poked in the back under the pretext of a cuddle irritates me.

Original poster
Niggit · 08/09/2016 16:34

Nonononono. I barely do mornings, let alone morning sex. All that waking up and moving about...

OP posts:
ayeokthen · 08/09/2016 16:35

I like it, it's a lovely way to start the day. But if you don't, then tell him. Either that or when you get up for a pee stick him in the kidneys with a mop handle constantly and then ask how he likes it!

Hellothereitsme · 08/09/2016 16:37

Tell him you don't like it.

ShowOfHands · 08/09/2016 16:38

Morning sex = infections in this house. Irrelevant though. Unwanted sexual contact is galling regardless of the time. What does he say when you explain?

roseteapot101 · 08/09/2016 16:46

if your really not in the mood and annoyed why dont you fart.Thats a real wood killer.

Personally weekend lie ins are a good time as in the evening you feel so tired after a long day.Just have some fun he jabs you in the back jab him back in the sides or pinch him

TheNaze73 · 08/09/2016 16:50

Is it the involuntary wood you're thinking is unreasonable or his motives for grinding into you?

mummytofourbabies · 08/09/2016 16:51

Roseteapot that really made me giggle GrinGrin

YourNewspaperIsShit · 08/09/2016 16:51

I ignore it until he does that exasperated sigh Grin

ThePortlyPinUp · 08/09/2016 16:55

I'd love it but DH has medication for a heart condition, depression and anxiety and doesn't seem to wake up with wood.

RichardBucket · 08/09/2016 17:51

I hope this is "lighthearted" (I know, forbidden word on MN!), in which case I'll go away so I'm not being a killjoy. Grin

I was in a relationship with a man who pressured me for sex a lot, and him pushing his erection into my back wasn't at all funny. It made me feel awful, so much that I couldn't relax in my own bed for fear of it starting.

ClopySow · 08/09/2016 17:58

Morning snoozy spoon fucks are the best.

Original poster
Niggit · 08/09/2016 18:12

Ok, mea culpa - yes, this was supposed to be mainly lighthearted. Apologies for any offence caused.

OP posts:
SpookyPotato · 08/09/2016 19:23

DP has never had this! Never had morning sex either, he's all sweaty and we both have rank morning breath Grin Keep telling him you don't enjoy it, sleep is precious..

Vintagegirl1 · 08/09/2016 19:30

I'm with theportlypinup (waves!) - I would have loved it as morning sex is the best but ex dh has health issues that means he doesn't get a woody in the am anymore.

LongIslandForgottenTea · 08/09/2016 19:35

Urgh!!! This would bring out full on rage when ex partenr did this, which was 5 times a night what's worse is when he would get up, go to the bathroom and came back with wood and still sporting morning breath that could take out a village.

New partner knows the rules, no morning sex unless I instigate it.

acasualobserver · 08/09/2016 19:55

I place a pillow between my arse and his stiffy - spooning can continue without prodding.

Strokethefurrywall · 08/09/2016 20:23

I used to love morning sex before I had kids. Now generally we have a 5 year old wedged between us (he doesn't start out there, just comes wandering in at some point between 2-5am!) and on the rare occasion that he's not there, I get uncontrollably angry at being woken up when I don't have to be woken.

Whilst generally I get enough sleep, I really don't remember the last time I was able to wake up naturally and of my own volition without a child, dog, alarm or DH waking me up.

Having said all this, I think I may try and revert back to morning sex instead of evening sex, I have far more energy in the mornings!

SandyY2K · 08/09/2016 20:28

swear, one of these mornings I'm going to snap it off and attack him with the soggy end.

Well that's one way to solve the problem.Grin

LightTheLampNotTheRat · 08/09/2016 20:42

I wish I could see the appeal of morning sex. But - morning breath? Just no. Isn't that an issue for other people?

newmumwithquestions · 08/09/2016 20:52

Morning breath never used to bother me.... Which suggests that I was the one with worse breath and just couldn't smell it 😳
Now we go and do our teeth before morning sex...not very spontaneous but much more pleasant!

However hate hate hate being woken up with prodding wood. To me it just reeks of 'I have wood. You must wake up and deal with it'. I refuse out of principle.