... to start my own sh*t birthday present from DH thread?

[liz70]

...Seeing as there seem to be a few knocking around at the moment?

My birthday was on Tuesday. I spent most of it running around after other people - taking DD2 to an appointment, looking after DD3 in the evening while DH had a meet up (optional) after work. So by the time he comes in at 9pm I've been run ragged, getting DD3 fed, bathed, to bed, hanging washing, getting things ready for the next morning, preparing a meal for us etc.

So DH puts my birthday present on the table. A small bag of Thornton's chocolates. Unwrapped.

Now... I don't think I'm particularly materialistic. I try to keep costs down with shopping - groceries are pretty much all supermarket and value brand. I buy most of my and DD3's clothes from George, F & F and suchlike. I don't demand designer hand bags or diamond jewellery.

We're not super wealthy, but neither are we skint - no mortgage, and a comfortable amount of savings.

It seemed to have fuck all thought put into it, and he couldn't even be arsed to wrap it. I did ask if he'd also brought a bunch of flowers from a petrol station, to complete the whole "will this do?" vibe, but no.

I just feel so fucking undervalued and unappreciated right now.

I think I'll just tell him that from now on, don't fucking bother getting me anything for birthdays. I'd rather buy something myself.

I have mentioned it, but I think he really can't be bothered any more. As long as my children have a stable home and are happy I can't really leave him over not caring about me...

Summer, do you know what he wants for his birthday and anniversary ? Nothing. He doesn't want or appreciate what you are giving him because he just doest 'get it'

Stop giving him gifts, try for the next year to give him nothing on those special days, not to be mean, but just to show you that presents mean absolutely nothing to him. Nothing. There are people like that.

I have realised that if you really want to know what the perfect gift is, think of what that person bought you, thats the perfect gift for them. Most people give gifts of what they want themselves.

This thread has made me sad and angry for so many people

I hope that the people who saw the kittycat measuring cups I mentioned have bought them and they make you all smile!

cat cups

I did give what for over the blu-Ray player! Now he is supplied with a list I wouldn't buy myself so it's sort of a surprise (as I don't know what he'll choose) but I definitely know I'll like it! He always tries it just because he values technology over what I like to buy as in clothes etc

My late father was a nasty piece of work. He hit my mother and my sister & I. He was also unfaithful countless times to my mother, tried to persuade her to do 'wife-swapping' and once introduced her to his mistress at a party. 'We' divorced him when I was 12.

For years he used money as a manipulation tool. On birthdays he would ring up and promise a cheque. That would never materialise. If he was politely prompted, I was 'money grabbing just like (my) mother' (she wasn't at all).

At least he had the decency to die when I was 26, and leave me £10,000, which in the 1990s was enough for a deposit on a nice 2 bed semi in a northern city.

So no, I don't miss the bastard at all, but I love my house. The best present he ever gave me was dying. I do get a bit jealous when other people tell me how amazing their dads are though.

My aunt (father's sister) gave my mother a single salt cellar the first Christmas they were married. Not even a nice one, the kind with a white plastic single hole top, like you'd find in a greasy spoon.

The next year it was an empty sauce bottle.

She got me socks every year until I was 11. KIDS DON'T WANT SOCKS. Her last present to me was a size 18 nightie (I'm a size 6).

I don't think she likes us much.

Not me but my best friend who is one of the kindest and loveliest women on the planet is married to someone who is an ass hole.

He prides himself in buying her a card on the actual day while she's with him and getting crap presents but one year he outdid himself, he put a little gift bag under the Christmas tree with a 'diamonds are forever' logo, she was quite chuffed he'd finally made the effort and was secretly excited to open it and felt happy that he must appreciate her a bit.
On the day he passed it to her and when she opened it it was completely empty, for a moment she thought maybe it was a clue to something but he then said "I didn't know what to get so I got you what you like to wear in bed" (nothing)

My mother is horrendous at present buying she thinks she knows us all so well and won't listen. It got so bad a few years ago that I had to sit down and say (very politely) that although her hearty was in the right place her present were not and that she was actually wasting her money as many sat there without use so would she like some input as to what the kids would actually like. She has bought ds1 a book on fishing for his 17th bday - he had gone fishing with his dad 1 time!! He was an athlete so she bought him a Paula Radcliffe book on marathon running - he was a 400m runner! - there is a big difference in the training lol
She would often buy tools (screwdriver set one year) for DP Xmas and birthdays but the worst was he made the mistake of saying he liked Costco's coleslaw so she bought him a 1kg tub of it (with only a couple of days left before the use by) he didn't eat coleslaw for about 10 years after that.
apparently my birthday/Xmas present (only a week apart) this year is a extension cable reel she bought for herself but then found a better one so I get the older one

Not a birthday present, but DH has just come back from 10 days away with his parents and given me a pack of 50 wooden pegs from the local supermarket . He said it was cos he knows I like wooden things

At least he had the decency to take the kids with him when he went, giving me 10 days of peace!!

"Small box of Thorntons"

It wasn't even a fucking box, nellie, it was just a frigging wee bag, with six chocolates in! Oh, sir, you are spoiling me wiz ziz teeny bag of chocolates- errr, not!

I think I've just had my first crap gift, after 7 years of good ones. DH essentially bought me some tinned tomatoes and some balsamic vinegar. But really expensive imported Italian ones because I love cooking. I do love cooking and I do love Italian food, but that's just not my idea of a gift really.

When its his birthday kick him in the bollocks and shout Surprise!! Happy birthday!! Hope you like your present!! Make sure he knows you put a lot of thought into it.

Eight days after having a baby, my birthday gift was a box of Milk Tray bought from the wholesalers and wrapped in newspaper. How to not make someone feel special. Total arse.

On our last anniversary ( 4 years!) with my ex I got him a card and a present - something I knew he really wanted. He then said he hadn't got me a card and then said he hadn't got me a present 'cos if he had then it would have meant he cared!! That was the starw that broke the camel' s back as I ditched him 6 weeks later..!

My husband is actually pretty good at gifts but my mother is a shocker.
This year was a big birthday so I had thought it would be similar to what my sister received for hers. Oh no it was the ugliest bangle ever and it didn't even fit over my hand, it was like extra small (she even admitted she couldn't get it over hers) after she left my sister admitted she got the exact same for her birthday a month ago. I was a bit gutted as it was a big bday and so little thought went into it especially compared to the big song n dance my sisters bday was (I do remember I didn't get anything for her that year but it wasn't a special birthday so I didn't care). Anyway I called the jewellery company to see if I could swap it and it turns out she bought 3 for each of our birthdays, all were being discontinued and were in the sale, so even if they weren't bought 6 months previous they've couldn't exchange.
And while I totally thought this was shitty my younger sister got much worse.
Mother obviously decided to hold off giving her her bangle and instead gave her a top. The top was so not my sisters style and very low cut so during her weekly food shop she tried to change it (yes it was from Tesco's) and the women said they normally don't exchange unless they had a receipt but as the top was only £1.50 she would just give her the cash!

Sounds a little ungrateful and I wouldn't mind but she does expect a lot when it's her turn 😒

My Nana got me a tie pin, bless her

My DH is truly terrible at presents, a second hand copy of Alastair Campbell's diaries from the charity shop is his worst ever. Horrible frilly knickers bought from ASDA on Christmas Eve, a close second.....

My ex did this. I had been away looking after my grandma up north and travelled back home a few days later. He rang me up and I told him I was just leaving Victoria station so would be 45 min. He asked me what my favourite chocolate was (we'd been together 5 years) I told him I didn't know and he greeted me off the train with an asda carrier bag and said "happy birthday" inside was a box of celebrations. I'm like you, I don't demand or expect expensive items but I was hurt by the lack of effort and the fact he obviously bought them on the way to meeting me. I don't care for expensive over the top gestures but effort I do care for. I completely understand how upset you are feeling. Your husband has been thoughtless and thoughtlessness hurts!

How crap OP!
My exH bought me a soda stream with the money that he had got from an insurance claim from Currys, I don't even drink fizzy drinks!
That was our last xmas together!!!

My hubby has been spot on with anniversary and birthday pressie this year (we got married day before my birthday) but it was my Nan and auntie that got me this year 😳 I turned 35 and my Nan got me anti wrinkle cream....I'm thirty friggin five!!! She did get me a couple good bits too though bless she gets confused with my age and says I'm a couple years older than I actually am so to her I'm 37 😂 And my auntie? A parenting manual ......yup .....not quite sure how to take that still.....

An old ex and I split up whilst still sharing the house we had bought together.

It took a few months to sort out and we were still friends.

Both our birthdays fell during this period. I bought him one of those amazing days out (white water rafting or something) for £200. He bought me a £10 HMV voucher :-/

Just thought of two crap gifts from partner, 22nd birthday, one card, no gift, what made it rubbish was I had bought him tickets for U2 concert for his birthday! Other one was a dot to dot karma soutra book for christmas, no way I could show that to family, and no card! Bastard😡

My DH forgot my birthday one year. But to be fair, I had just had our DS 4 days earlier and only came out of hospital the day before my birthday.. The look on his face when my mother gave me a birthday card was priceless.
The following year I got hair straighteners, then nothing for the last 4 years. Actual just pre ordered myself the new iPhone for my birthday next month Christmas i usually get a bottle of perfume. I just ordered him an Xbox one.

My DH forgot my birthday one year. But to be fair, I had just had our DS 4 days earlier and only came out of hospital the day before my birthday.. The look on his face when my mother gave me a birthday card was priceless.
The following year I got hair straighteners, then nothing for the last 4 years. Actual just pre ordered myself the new iPhone for my birthday next month Christmas i usually get a bottle of perfume. I just ordered him an Xbox one.

I must be really low maintenance. A couple of years ago my Mum bought a lemon reamer and a peg bag for me. I was chuffed to bits. MIL has bought me an iron before, DH gave me an ironing board once and I love nice biros and utensils as presents. Last year DH bought a saucepan for me. I love it.

Some of these examples are the work of thoughtless shitbags. The difference is that my family know what I like. If you don't like bic fine line biros and a nice spatula, I can imagine it's bloody heartbreaking.