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Original poster

To be furious with DD's nanny?

305 replies

alwaystimeforgin · 06/09/2016 16:47

So I am utterly fuming. I have just had a call from a friend of mine saying she had found my DD (She is 3 years old) wandering around at the park on her own with no adult in sight. After about 10 mins DD's nanny comes back with a coffee in her hand and when my friend questioned her she said she went to the cafe to get DD a drink as she was thirsty.

The coffee shop is the other side of the park and would have taken the nanny around 15 mins to walk there and back. Plenty of time for a child to get injured or get into some sort of danger. Hate to think what might have happened if my friend had not been there. The nanny has been great with DD up until this point and she has been a nanny for 15 years so I am genuinely shocked by this serious lack of judgement on her part. However, I don't think I can trust her now after this incident Confused Is this grounds for dismissal or should I be giving her another chance? Hmm

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 07/09/2016 18:24

exbloomer1 OP did ask the nanny for her side, nanny said she'd left OP's DD with a friend (nanny) and her charge but when other nanny had wandered off and forgot about OP's DD.

OP deduced from her Nanny's body language, story that nanny was probably lying. I think nanny also didn't provide OP with her 'friend's' details so OP could check.

needastrongone · 07/09/2016 18:25

Have any of the last few posters read the thread? Smile OP has spoken to the nanny, isn't happy and has dismissed her as she's on probation, and has sought advice about the correct manner to do so!

SuperFlyHigh · 07/09/2016 18:26

From my point of view regardless of whether child had wanted to come for drink or not (just a firm, you're coming and that's that or no drink but I'd always keep a carton of drink in my bag for child) I'd be employing my nanny to look after my child not to get another nanny to do so...

You have no idea of how a child will respond to another person it presumably does or does not know. Therefore do not leave the child!

JudyCoolibar · 07/09/2016 18:27

exbloomer, reporting back "for others' benefit" will only work if people read the thread properly ...

NanaNina · 07/09/2016 18:27

Why don't posters read the whole thread - the OP has spoken with the nanny and taken action yet is still being encouraged to do this! exbloomer OP has reported back!! Read the thread!

SuperFlyHigh · 07/09/2016 18:28

need I did read all the pages including last just setting out the gist for those of MN who can't be bothered to Read the whole or relevant pages of the thread!

jayne1976 · 07/09/2016 18:28

Any sign of a drink for your daughter - assuming your three year old is not partial to coffee! For a three year old taking a bottle with you is common sense. 30 seconds out of my sight, my many many years older child comes with me. Accident / utter fear as to where she is could be struck / wander off to look? Maybe not dismissed, but serious talking to!

2kids2dogsnosense · 07/09/2016 18:31

Can't imagine how anyone (even Waynetta Slob) would think it appropriate to leave a three-yo alone in a park. You have to get to the bottom of this

Mysteries · 07/09/2016 18:44

The nanny is not to be trusted. Her side of the story is a lie. The coffee was for the nanny. She left your child, putting her in danger. Why on earth didn't she take your daughter with her? She should never be allowed to work with children again.

Mamia15 · 07/09/2016 18:54

You asked about how to check references - you need to ask about the kind of things the Nanny would have told you about her previous experience e,g ages/sex of children, dates, places (e.g where did she work, did she stay over, did she go on holiday with them etc), duties etc. That way any lies she has told are more likely to be exposes. Also ask previous employers what her strengths and weaknesses are, why she left and if they would have her back again.

LittleBeautyBelle · 07/09/2016 19:03

You did the right thing, op! Reporting her to the place of employment you found her, and firing her. You did nothing wrong at all in what you said. In fact, you could have been a lot more harsh and maybe what she did and the danger she put your child in would have penetrated her thick skull.

It sounds like she isn't even sorry or concerned about what she did. She shouldn't be allowed to watch anybody's children.

You owe your friend tremendous thanks for seeing, and telling you, what the nanny did.

You're looking for another nanny. To be honest, I would not hire anyone that I didn't already personally know well, or that people that I already knew well and trusted had employed. References were faked in this particular case I would bet.

Good luck on finding a trustworthy nanny. Nothing is more important than the safety of you dc. It is frightening to think what could have happened.

MetalPetal86 · 07/09/2016 19:17

Agree you must speak to her first but, yes, it is shocking leaving a three year old under those circumstances. At the moment I wouldn't even leave my just about nine year old in those circumstances. Hope there's some kind of explanation???

MetalPetal86 · 07/09/2016 19:18

oops sorry - just realised I need to read the whole thread. Can be bothered just short on time!!

Mynestisfullofempty · 07/09/2016 19:18

MetalPetal86 She has spoken to her.

Mynestisfullofempty · 07/09/2016 19:19

Oh bugger! Cross-sodding-post.

trafalgargal · 07/09/2016 19:20

Sorry, but you found this nanny on a website ? Not an agency so odds are it's purely a listing service ...no references or checks done by the website.
You checked references merely by ringing a couple of phone numbers she gave you?

You left your child with a stranger on the basis of this just because she called herself a nanny ?

I think you've had a very lucky escape.

Mynestisfullofempty · 07/09/2016 19:28

You're right trafalgargal. The OP's daughter could've been left with someone even worse than totally irresponsible, which is bad enough.

Shezza71 · 07/09/2016 19:31

Apologies for posting before seeing ops updates, I was meaning give her a formal warning if she left a friend to watch her and that is something op is not happy with so she knew not to that again. But considering the updates then letting her go was the correct decision to make.
Don't be put off of nannies though, put a clause in as one of the previous posters had about leaving child with friends.
You could look for a nanny who has previously been a nursery worker, they have so much training and are fantastic. Also as a nanny, no qualifications are required by ofsted but we now have to have completed a common core and knowledge course, so ask about that, make sure first aid has been done within last 3 years and make sure they are ofsted registered, not sure how you go about checking DBS though. Ask around local area if you maybe have friends with older children at school if they know any local nannies, a recommendation is always good. Good luck x

Shezza71 · 07/09/2016 19:32

How did nanny respond to being let go?

MJ14 · 07/09/2016 19:49

I've not read any other posts so I might be stating the obvious here but screw what her contract says, I'd never let her supervise my child again if that had happened!!!!
Use an agency (if you did already then report her)!

mouldycheesefan · 07/09/2016 19:52

Mj14 RTFT.

hks · 07/09/2016 20:00

maybe she had a friend with her and asked her to watch your daughter

...did you ask your daughter id she was left alone ? .

personally i dont think a nanny would risk her career and reputation

....does your friend dislike your nanny for any reason

gemma19846 · 07/09/2016 20:16

Omg i would be fuming and not ever trust her again tbh. If she thinks its ok to leave a 3 year old on the park on her own for 15 mins then she cant be trusted at all

Olympiathequeen · 07/09/2016 20:23

I was going to say ask her for her 'friends' name and speak to her but as she wouldn't give it she is clearly lying. A decent person, let alone a paid nanny, would not leave a 3 year old unattended. I have a 3 yr old and this appals me

TT10677 · 07/09/2016 20:25

I would be furious. Would struggle to trust her again. Serious lack of judgement.

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