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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious with DD's nanny?

305 replies

alwaystimeforgin · 06/09/2016 16:47

So I am utterly fuming. I have just had a call from a friend of mine saying she had found my DD (She is 3 years old) wandering around at the park on her own with no adult in sight. After about 10 mins DD's nanny comes back with a coffee in her hand and when my friend questioned her she said she went to the cafe to get DD a drink as she was thirsty.

The coffee shop is the other side of the park and would have taken the nanny around 15 mins to walk there and back. Plenty of time for a child to get injured or get into some sort of danger. Hate to think what might have happened if my friend had not been there. The nanny has been great with DD up until this point and she has been a nanny for 15 years so I am genuinely shocked by this serious lack of judgement on her part. However, I don't think I can trust her now after this incident Confused Is this grounds for dismissal or should I be giving her another chance? Hmm

OP posts:
Anmi0802 · 07/09/2016 20:27

As a nanny I would never leave a child unattended, unless some friend is around and looking after her. But if she had a friend helping her over, she would have mentioned it to your friend. To be honest, even if she gives you a very good reason you have to think properly about keeping her. She could have easily lost her in the park, so many things could happens in 15 mins.

SoTheySentMeA · 07/09/2016 20:29

Sitting here laughing at all the people who haven't read the thread and are still commenting on the original post, and all the people who are getting annoyed with them.

GrinGrinGrin

AliceScarlett · 07/09/2016 20:32

Nah, I'm a nanny and would only ever leave a child with another (trusted) person in an emergency. Dismiss her.

April229 · 07/09/2016 20:44

Just double check there wasn't another mum keeping an eye out, they might have been there but not noticed by your friend, unless there was a specific person watching the child I would not hesitate to fire her, but it does sound like an odd thing for an experienced nanny to do. She would never be hired by any future employer if you told them she had left a three yo in a park alone - why didn't she just take them with her?

Anmi0802 · 07/09/2016 20:46

I just read all op replies rsrsrsr
Op you have done the right thing, I can't believe a real nanny who has been looking after children for 15 years to do such a thing. Unfortunately it's hard to know when the nanny is telling the truth, as it's easy to ask any friend to give you references. But one thing you should do on interviews is ask if she is ofsted registered cos it will mean she has CRB, and try to spend at least a week with the nanny to see if she seem alright, if you can get off work of course. good luck and I can assure you there's lots of wonderful nannies out there, believe me

mamamojo · 07/09/2016 20:46

At the park the other day my dd was playing with a little girl that we'd never seen before, she said she was thirsty so her godmother asked if I could watch her while she went to get a drink for her. I felt really uncomfortable so offered her one of our bottles of water so that she didn't have to leave, the woman said she thought she probably wanted a bigger drink (the bottles are 300 ml) and she'd only be a minute.... She was gone so long I started to think about what the hell are you supposed to do if they don't come back!!...what is it that makes some people think that this is ok???

Thingamajiggy · 07/09/2016 20:54

Hold your horses and get the full story before jumping to conclusions. Is your friend prone to exaggerating? I'm not saying it's not serious, it is, but there are always 2 sides so try to keep an open mind until you've spoken to her.

Keels77 · 07/09/2016 20:57

Wow. I doubt you will ever get the whole truth. Has your DD said anything? And tbh, whatever your nanny says, if I were in your shoes I wouldn't be able to trust her again. (Even if she did leave her with another adult, they clearly weren't paying attention as they didn't question your friend). Lost trust cannot be replaced where your precious DD is concerned.

Shona52 · 07/09/2016 20:58

I would sack her on the spot. A nanny with that much experience should know the danger of her actions. No excuse to leave a child out alone but for a drink! I wouldn't trust her again

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 07/09/2016 21:04

RTFT
RTFT
RTFT
RTFT
RTFT

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 07/09/2016 21:05

This is "cancel the cheque" all over again.

PacificDogwod · 07/09/2016 21:17

GrinGrinGrin

There, there!
Brew

Mooey89 · 07/09/2016 21:21

But have you cancelled the cheque?

Lizzie101 · 07/09/2016 21:27

Assuming your friend has reported this incident accurately (and only you know how reliable they are )then without a doubt dismiss. Trust has been lost and this is gross professional misconduct. She was caught this time, what goes unnoticed.

ReluctantFarmerJo · 07/09/2016 21:35

I'm a nanny and I'd expect to be sacked if I did this!!

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 07/09/2016 21:38

Thanks P-Dog. I'm a bit hot under the collar, it's 39 degrees with the humidex here today!

SuperFlyHigh · 07/09/2016 21:44

hks an unregistered, dodgy nanny could do this - just because someone is qualified too doesn't mean they're any good at their job! Some nannies do risk their jobs and reputation for many reasons - I've heard horror stories from friends re nannies.

3luckystars · 07/09/2016 21:53

Get rid of her right now.

3luckystars · 07/09/2016 21:56

Sorry I thought the thread was only one page long and didn't see the update. Glad you got rid of her! Shocking carry on.

kittykittykitty5 · 07/09/2016 21:59

I have employed several nannies and unfortunately such instances of total lack of judgement by nannies happen a lot more than you think.

When is the nanny next due at work? It would not surprise me if you get a text or email resigning this evening. Or, the next time she comes to work she resigns then..

Or, she may brazen it out. Keep us updated.

kittykittykitty5 · 07/09/2016 22:05

Sorry, posted before reading the updates. Well done you, I think you have handled it extremely well.

Member251061 · 07/09/2016 22:16

Ive had two child minders that have treated my children in an unprofessional way. One left my ds (12 months) in a car to sleep in her shared car park, behind a high fence so no possible way to see him. She told me he was very hot when she got him out & had a heat rash! We didn't go back. Another let her husband take my 2 year old dd out & walked off by a busy main road while she toddled off on her own a few metres behind him. It's good to have friendly spies! I phoned ofsted & they saw the husband & child minders mum behave inappropriately-apparently ofsted also spy! I've had two great childminders as well though! It's impossible to relax after knowing that your child might not be safe.

Wdigin2this · 07/09/2016 22:45

A 3 year old, left to play in a park for up to 15 minutes...... ALONE??!!!!
That is not an error of judgement, that's serious neglect of the child in her charge! It makes me go cold to think of all the terrible possibilities!
Sorry, only read the first page, and was so shocked, I fired off a reply before reading any more!
Anyway, presumably you've spoken to her and got her side of the story, so you're either prepared to give her a huge dressing down about responsibility , with one more chance.....or she's history!

Amy188 · 08/09/2016 00:43

This reply has been deleted

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Ikeatears · 08/09/2016 00:52

Amy188 I don't understand your post?