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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious with DD's nanny?

305 replies

alwaystimeforgin · 06/09/2016 16:47

So I am utterly fuming. I have just had a call from a friend of mine saying she had found my DD (She is 3 years old) wandering around at the park on her own with no adult in sight. After about 10 mins DD's nanny comes back with a coffee in her hand and when my friend questioned her she said she went to the cafe to get DD a drink as she was thirsty.

The coffee shop is the other side of the park and would have taken the nanny around 15 mins to walk there and back. Plenty of time for a child to get injured or get into some sort of danger. Hate to think what might have happened if my friend had not been there. The nanny has been great with DD up until this point and she has been a nanny for 15 years so I am genuinely shocked by this serious lack of judgement on her part. However, I don't think I can trust her now after this incident Confused Is this grounds for dismissal or should I be giving her another chance? Hmm

OP posts:
Sunshineonacloudyday · 08/09/2016 00:58

Amy188 play this song I got bills I gotta pay. I go to work work work everyday. I got mouths I have to feed. Angry

What a silly thing to say to the op she is already a mum trying to provide. If mums go back to work they are not mums. If mums decide to stay at home they are lazy. Where is the middle ground.

BlackeyedSusan · 08/09/2016 01:01

op is already a mum. no trying needed.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 08/09/2016 01:06

Amy. Are you on glue. Incase it's escaped your notice. Not everyone has the luxury of being a SAHM.
You really cannot win. You're damned if you do work and damned if you don't.

Yorkieheaven · 08/09/2016 05:21

Don't think Amy understood the post to be honest because her post does not make sense.

Glad it's sorted op.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 08/09/2016 05:54

Oh I think she knows what she's talking about, a little goady comment peddling the idiotic notion that mums who work are somehow morally inferior and need to be punished.

Well done you lovely woman, hope you got the thrill you were after at the idea of upsetting people. Shame to waste that malice...

Anmi0802 · 08/09/2016 06:24

Amy188 what do you mean try and be mum? Who is not been a mum?

Anmi0802 · 08/09/2016 06:24

Who has not been a mum?

trafalgargal · 08/09/2016 06:36

Any do you need a recommendation for a book that explains to you that a woman who has given birth to a child is a mother? If you are planning on having children yourself at any point perhaps you might consider adult education classes first to help you broaden your perspective and educational ability.

trafalgargal · 08/09/2016 06:37

That was Amy not any ....thanks auto correct lol

Flowersinyourhair · 08/09/2016 06:53

OP, you have totally done the right thing. Your child was lucky on this occasion as your friend happened to be there so presumably kept an eye on her and reported it to you. You have absolutely no way of knowing whether she's done it before or whether she would do it again- probably for longer as she grew in confidence at your child's ability to cope. Totally unacceptable and a great decision made by a caring, responsible MUM!!

jugotmail · 08/09/2016 07:21

I'm a Mum/nanny/all round jack of all trades and I would never even think about doing this.

My youngest charge is now 7 and he still has to come into the loos with me and stand with a foot under the door so that i know he is there. At the end of the day he is not my child, he is someone elses world. The older kids are only just allowed to go to the loo alone when out but i wait in view of the toilet block glaring at the door and timing them.

After only a month you are still finding your feet and getting to know a child - especially at 3 years old. After 10 years with my family they still throw curveballs at me (but as im still there i hope im doing something right).

And she should have had a drink, sunhat, change of clothes and possibly a small first aid kit with her - i always had these until very recently when they were told they needed to carry their own basics.

3 years old " i know that you dont want to come but when we have had a drink we can come back and i will give you a big push on the swings. Lets go."

mimishimmi · 08/09/2016 07:22

I've seen similar in parks in Hong Kong. At least there they did leave their charges with other nannies keeping an eye on them (hopefully) Unfortunately you cannot pay some people to actually give a shit.

Original poster
alwaystimeforgin · 08/09/2016 07:32

Amy188 I am a little confused by your post? Surely "being a mum" has nothing to do with whether I employ a nanny or not. You clearly don't have any children yourself!

OP posts:
Doman · 08/09/2016 08:33

I would let her go. Outrageous behaviour. She put her own comfort ahead of your child's safety.

cherrybath · 08/09/2016 09:03

Certainly ask her first - did she have a friend there who was keeping an eye on DD for example - but I cannot think of any other reason why you should consider to employ her.

cherrybath · 08/09/2016 09:06

Apologies - had not read all the posts. This was totally unforgivable of her and makes me wonder if her references were genuine?

FreddyFireflyCanFeckOff · 08/09/2016 09:13

No 2nd chances given in this circustance. FTB.

Ivechangedmyname1 · 08/09/2016 09:18

Ami188 do fuck off! Jesus op you poor woman! Anything could of happened and the fact she didn't immediately say something. Also if my dd has been gone for 15 mins I would of been frantic yet she strolls over with coffee like its nothing.

You did well to dismiss her.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 08/09/2016 09:19

Oh no OP I bet Amy does have children. Probably 2.4 them. Just perfect!

And unlike you, and me, she is a real mum because she doesn't worry about any of that earning money nonsense. She lets Hubby do that! Whilst she raises her children herself. Which means they are never neglected.

So really you see, it's all your fault.

MN should delete posts like that for misogyny IMO. But hate speech against women is the only acceptable kind.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 08/09/2016 09:31

I am very much enjoying the massive irony of posters leaping in on later pages insisting the OP must get the full story from the Nanny, whilst not rtft to get the full story from the OP

Grin
LyndaNotLinda · 08/09/2016 09:38

It would amuse me if it weren't so irritating! :o Personally I think that should lead to a formal ban warning to posters, Giddy.

That'd learn em

GiddyOnZackHunt · 08/09/2016 09:43

Lynda normally it is irritating I agree but this just tickled me :)
A warning system for not rtft would require a lot of resources to administer so we're stuck with them.

LyndaNotLinda · 08/09/2016 09:49

Oh I know it's completely impractical but I can dream Grin

trafalgargal · 08/09/2016 09:53

I'd like a little pop up that when a thread is more than one page long pops up alerting there's more to read before hitting send

needastrongone · 08/09/2016 10:24

I would definitely like to see threads that have run their course not pop up in the Discussion of the Day or Trending threads, as it's completely pointless.

MNHQ any chance?