To Want a Richer Man?

[ChegPasty]

Obviously I am but do any of you ever feel this way?

My DH is incredible by anyone's standards, couldn't fault him. His parents are not particularly wealthy and he has a below average salary. We get by and he's not tight with the money he does have.

I'm slowly qualifying in a career that comes with a large salary. It will be a while before I get there but I work alongside lots with million + salaries. They're mostly men with wives who don't have to work and they have incredible lives (from the outside). They walk around in designer clothes and shoes, holiday for most of the year and go 1st class or private, drive flash cars, they have beautiful homes and want for nothing.

AIBU to want in on this even though I have a man who adores me? I work ridiculously hard long hours and couldn't even imagine spending the amount of money some of these women do on a pair of shoes and I sometimes wonder what the point is.

Just to confirm 'normal salaries folk' meant not equity salaried like those mentioned prior in the list I gave. Not that 6 figures is a normal salary to me. They take home 6 figures whereas those above have unlimited potential. Just clearing that up.

YANBU, LTB

OP, you've got something that money can't buy, which is priceless, count your lucky stars, enjoy.

I'm single and trying to work my way up the ladder for better employment and I sometimes dream of a rich partner... Nice car, own our own house, holidays... All the things I don't have.

But that doesn't mean I don't like my life or am miserable, just that I wonder what it would be like.

Try as I might I am not sure how to get there on my own (trying tho!)

I'm sure you will get there, myusername! Good luck to you.

Good to see some of you do have similar fleeting thoughts. Obviously they do pass and I accept that it's largely to do with the company you keep.

Ok I'm a shallow shithead but when I do win the lottery I am not sharing one penny with you lot.

Well maybe some of you.

LOL!

Of course you should LTB straight away. Then get with one of these squillionaires, leaving your DH free to find someone a little less shallow

If you wanted a husband who was going to earn a 6 figure salary, you should have married one. Your husband has clearly never been had that kind of financial ambition.

If you want children at some point down the line, thank your lucky stars your husband has less ambition than you do - it will make life a lot easier.

If money's your thing- Instead of marrying a richer man, you should aim to become a richer woman. Money and its trappings as related to my family motivates me (v poor upbringing) and I'm not ashamed to admit it, so I'm training up. Goal is to pay out right for my DDs uni in 2 years do she doesn't have to take out a loan.

RockinHippy in what way is OP sat around on her backside?

AllieinWonderland - its a turn of phrase thats all, just means go & do for yourself

I'm the same, Lulu. I had a dirt poor upbringing and worked my way up from a very early age alongside studying extremely hard too. I know I'll get there in the end but I do have a pang of jealousy when I see those who've never worked for anything in their life and now have everything.

Short of winning the lottery or doing it myself, marrying into money seems to be the only option and the one I'm surrounded by.

This is actually quite sad. Your posts make it sound like thought your DH is a lovely chap, he's not really good enough for you.

We've been really hard up, especially when I was a SAHM and now we're pretty well off. DH earns more than he ever has and could afford for me to give up work and swan around in new shoes, going for lunches etc. However, hell will freeze over before I give up my job, my DC's are in school all day and I would be bored shitless within a week. I want to earn my own money and contribute to the financial pot too, now that I feel that I'm in a position to do so. Go earn your money, but have a bit more respect for both your DH and yourself.

Are you sure all the people you see have "never worked for anything in their life"?

If it's true (and it might not be) then you should really rethink whether a career in the City will make you happy or healthy. If you keep on that path, one thing is for sure, you will continually be surrounded by people with more wealth than you. Whether they are colleagues or clients.

Wow, OP.

Maybe your poor husband wishes he'd married a woman who was already well-established and high earning. When's your trust-fund due?

I think YABU.

I never wish for a richer man, I wish for more money.
I wanted to come here and say that I kind of understood where you were coming from and that I'd had similar feelings but after reading your post again and thinking about it, I wouldn't wish for a richer man.
I've always been the "breadwinner" and although I'd love to be a SAHM and homemaker, I enjoy making my own money.

I have everything I want from life except decent money. We struggle a lot, but I'd rather struggle with DP than be rich with someone who wouldn't love me half as much as DP does.

YABU. as long as you are happy and have a roof over your head and food on the table. even if I won the lottery I would still shop in h & m etc.

my DH is actually very well off and I'm pleased that I didn't realise that before we got married. we live in London and if it was just me/I was with someone on my salary -and I'm a solicitor in a high street role - I'd be looking at a studio/1 bed flat and we have a house do I am vvvvv greatful. really love him though so would happily live in a tent if I had to as long as I was with him. he is lovely

*so

we have fertility issues though...swings and roundabouts. name changed but am usually on the infertility pages....

I'm married to a man who earns a lot, not quite a million but close. Honestly, it's more than enough for anyone. I'm sure I could be happy on a lot less. After a fairly low threshold, you don't gain much more happiness.

Being happy in your own skin is a wonderful gift. Some people will never have it as they are always dissatisfied.

Cheg you're right, I've seen it too. Banker's kids often get it all handed to them - private school, uni, plum 'tailor made' unadvertised internships even when they're ony on track for a 3rd, then a 40k a year analyst job somewhere (if not a graduate role). I couldn't afford uni, have not stopped working since 16, and only just got that analyst job despite effectivelt doing the job for 10 years. But I have 10 years at least on the whipper snappers and am on track for my associateship in a year or two. I'm also jointly studying for my undergrad degree and mba with a view to getting CFO/COO by 40. It might not happen, life might get in the way, but at least I'd have tried.

OP I haven't read all of this, but wonder if your DH is happy. Does he equally want more money?

You have mentioned a career change. If he's equally not happy are you prepared to be the earner while he trains for a new career?

If he is happy, then you can't change him. You can let him go to find someone whom appreciates him and take the chance of finding money and love elsewhere or exreme loneliness and regret.

I'm married to a high earner, varies from year to year this year 3-4m. He lives for his family and doesn't work long hours.

So many sweeping generalisations on this thread. I do voluntary work but there's no inequality in our relationship. He couldn't care less if I work or not, long as I'm happy and content. And before anyone asks, no risk of me being left high and dry because I own half the shares.

I have a friend who's husband is off the scale wealthy, a completely different level of living to us, latest toy a £6m boat. I am much happier than her as her husband is selfish and more focused on making money than spending quality time with her. Easy and natural to be envious, but more knowledge of their lives is usually a cure for that!

Wow hormonal what does your DH do?????