To ask what would your course of action be if this happened...

[Shadow1986]

Obviously long back story of similar arguments...

Bathing my children when DH starts shouting at me because instead of putting his clean washing away, I have put his in a pile on the floor in our walk in wardrobe - reason being 1. I have 3 children including 10 wk old baby and drowning in housework, 2. He has so many clothes I always struggle to find a home for everything.

I said he could do it himself, he screamed 'your a fucking housewife, do your your fucking job!' - this was in front of children.

so should I be putting away his washing? He does provide for me...answers please.

Oh, OP. Please seek help and advice re getting out. You are in an abusive relationship. He thinks he is better than you and deserves better treatment than you. He treats you liked the hired help. And now the silent treatment for calling him on it? That is abuse. Silent treatment is abuse.

You do not want to raise your children with a man who thinks this is an ok way to treat their mother ... and he will do the same to them eventually when they displease him.

Do they really adore him? Or do they pretend to?

your children can still "adore" him when he isn't treating you like a piece of shit right in front of their eyes

you are doing your kids no favours to stay and subject them to the example of an abusive relationship like this

My ex was the same, used to brag that he didn't know how to use a washing machine, or know where the hover was kept

Note that he is now my ex...

I'm so for you, screaming at you like that! Fuck that!

Also want to add, that my eldest adores his dad. We been split now for 4 years and it has not effect my son in any way. So don't think by leaving you are hurting your kids. My son often says how much ' mummy smiles and that I am happy mummy'.

OK. Big picture because this is very important.
Either he's basically ok but for whatever reason acted like a dick (and I've definitely had to stand my ground at times as SAHM for respect) ... OR
He's a massive narcissist and you are suffering emotional abuse. Google narcissistic partner or toxic partner and see if what is described rings any bells. Because if he is you are mistaken to assume that he will listen to you explain anything. Narcissists are incapable of seeing someone else's point of view. The red flag for me is having a massive blowout when your attention is on the children.

This!

He sounds delightful
That is no way to speak to your partner, he is a disgrace.

I am SAHP. I do the majority of house work. Once I have washed/hung/dried washing I make a pile of his things and pop them on his wardrobe shelf to sort through and put away/iron as he wishes.
I have enough to do without his clothes and he is fine with that and doesn't expect me to do it.
But, that aside, with a new baby and other kids a perfect tidy house and properly put away washing isn't important. He needs to sort his attitude out and get a grip.

Get a dog. They'll adore that more.

I would not put up with it either.
Do you have somewhere you could go just for the weekend to get away from him?
Try to leave the kids with him and tell him he has to everything you get through in a day and see how he copes?
Would he be open to that?
Or is he really just an abusive bully and you need to get away from him permanently??

i'd wait till the dcs were in bed and tell him calmly if he ever speaks to me like that again then he'll be washing and ironing his clothes himself forever
and next time he as a moan about work dont forget to tell him
"your a fucking [whatever job he does] do your fucking job

it's normal that the kids adore him. he is their dad and in their eyes can do no wrong, as any other father.

...And it's not even the weekend yet

Whatever disagreements are between the two of you he shouldn't talk to you like that in front of the children - ever.
My wife would tear me a new one - then burn said clothes!