Oh OP/troll, you're doing it all wrong, you need to sound at last half way convincing, like this-
Once a week my DD goes for tea at a friends house, and all she seems to eat there is crap. Sausages (cheap ones, not the good kind), nuggets, fish fingers, all served with chips and beans or spaghetti hoops, so double cabs. She's also given snacks of chocolate biscuits, Oreos I think from her description, and cheap ice cream for pudding. At home I always cook greasy from scratch using organic ingredients, I'm not adverse to the odd bit of junk food, she sometimes has homemade cake, and I even let DH take her to nandos once! But this crap every week is too much, she comes back hyperactive and bratty from her friends house, I'm sure it's the food. Should I say something?
See, half way believable, and enough to start a bunfight, not just have everyone rolling their eyes at you.
(For the record I'm not a troll, but I've been on mumsnet long enough to know how to do it and press buttons if I wanted to).