To be a bit annoyed?

[MushuDragon]

A friend asked me to look after their DC while both of them had to work.

Now this is from 7:30am-5pm and 40ish miles drive each way. So myself and DC woke at 6 (we are usually up at 5:30 anyway) to get ready and to give us time to get there.

So we set off at 5:55am and arrived only home at 6:30pm.

I asked before this if they would assist with petrol money, which I think is fair enough. They said they would give me £40 as they'd pay more than that for a child minder for those hours on a Saturday.

During my time there, I cared for their 11month old like he was my own, cleaned the kitchen head to foot as it was filthy, the lounge and the bathroom.

This was 2 weeks ago. I was told before I arrived, that when I arrived they would give me the cash so I wasn't short after paying for fuel to get there.

The guy friend said 2 days ago he'd transfer it over that day. Nothing. He then said last night he was just about to do it. Nothing.

I messaged this morning to see how the DC was (as I regularly do) and I've not heard from them all day which is very unusual.

Also 2 days ago they asked me to watch DC next week whilst they both work. I said yes only on the basis that I could get the cash a few days before I come down. They said yes.

So down to my AIBU.

AIBU to feel like they are taking the piss? Expecting me to go act like a child minder and cleaner and use my own cash (to end up short) whilst they both work and both get paid a full days wage whilst having a free child minder?.

I've been £35 short last week due to this. Which isn't much but on a skint week, it adds up.

Aibu?

I would cancel the arrangement , you'll always be waiting for the next thing to happen

what a horrible situation :( it's hard when you don't want to be used but also feeling worried about the child :(

I've asked them if I can have DC overnight if they drop him off and give £40 again by Wednesday and I'll drop him off and they said yes.

If the money isn't in my account by Wednesday, I won't be having him.

Haha it's rude to clean up?

My daughter wet herself, rather than use their dirty toilet. Now tell me, what would you do? Clean it or let your daughter wet herself again because she (a 3yo) was too disgusted to use it.

I was expected to make food for their DC and mine. Yet it was too filthy to do that so I had no choice but to clean up.

It made me feel sick.

Have you reported them op? You are getting suckered back in again.

Not yet. I am waiting till I take the DC back home. I will see the house again and see if it/the situation has improved.

If it hasn't, I'll be taking photos and reporting the following day.

Not being suckered anywhere. I care for their DC and want to see this through.

DC are not in danger, they are loved. But the parents need to get help.

If DC was in any danger id have called as soon as I knew they were in danger.

You are being suckered back into childcare. It's very unlikely they'll pay you before and then you'll angst, you won't cancel, you'll get no money and the whole thing will start again.

The parents do sound like they need help, so don't clean or anything this time if it's a shit tip because you won't be helping.

No. I've already told them if nothing is transferred to my account by latest of Wednesday evening, I won't be having DC. So the choice is theirs.

And I'll only be in their home 20 mins max. And even if it was longer I wouldn't be doing more cleaning. I do enough cleaning at my home.

And if they start ignoring your calls and texts and just drop the dc off? Which does not sound unlikely?

OP , read up on paid childcare-
Looking after a child under 8 for more than 2 hours for pay (its on the Gov Uk website) I think there are different rules for your own home / the childs home.

So Babysitting in the childs house is ok
In your own home you need to be registered .

So, now :
Do you want to drive 40 miles to sit in their shitpit and not get paid?
Or have them drive the baby to you, have you Break The Law , not get paid and possibly get a fine?

Neither appeals to me.
You've had a near miss, why put yourself at risk?

Let them pay their childminder .

I've not read previous threads regarding this, and without re-reading this thread from the start, am I right in saying that the minging house is not an isolated incident? And you mention you are concerned for the DCs wellbeing. Whilst the parents may love their DC, it sounds like they are unable to cope or prioritise their lives to make it work.

If this is truly the case, then report it without all this "will I, won't I" or "I'll do it after I've seen them again if it's still bad" which it sounds like it invariably still will be.

You sound like good and caring person, but this is no longer your call to make. Leave it to the professionals to sort out.

I've followed this thread from the start.

You're being had mushi. You're letting yourself be used by these incompetent people.

You're far too soft.

To be honest you're both right

Coolpotato and *therealloislane
*
I probably am being had but once I see their house again. I'll get pictures, and when I get back to the car, write things down to keep it fresh in my mind.

Then call when I arrive back home.

This is a guarantee. I want to make sure the DC are safe and in a clean (at least not shit pit) environment.

But you said you are going to be in the house for 20 minutes dropping off the kids while the parents are there, your ability to look at the house, assess the state of it and take pictures will not be that great.

I'm a Senior Care Assistant.

Ability to assess situations in a small period of time is part of my job :).

All I need is an excuse to go in those rooms.

Lounge, obv will be in there anyway

Kitchen "I need some water for the return journey"

bathroom "I need to pee"

Did they transfer anything to you yet, OP?