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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bit annoyed?

142 replies

MushuDragon · 03/09/2016 20:07

A friend asked me to look after their DC while both of them had to work.

Now this is from 7:30am-5pm and 40ish miles drive each way. So myself and DC woke at 6 (we are usually up at 5:30 anyway) to get ready and to give us time to get there.

So we set off at 5:55am and arrived only home at 6:30pm.

I asked before this if they would assist with petrol money, which I think is fair enough. They said they would give me £40 as they'd pay more than that for a child minder for those hours on a Saturday.

During my time there, I cared for their 11month old like he was my own, cleaned the kitchen head to foot as it was filthy, the lounge and the bathroom.

This was 2 weeks ago. I was told before I arrived, that when I arrived they would give me the cash so I wasn't short after paying for fuel to get there.

The guy friend said 2 days ago he'd transfer it over that day. Nothing. He then said last night he was just about to do it. Nothing.

I messaged this morning to see how the DC was (as I regularly do) and I've not heard from them all day which is very unusual.

Also 2 days ago they asked me to watch DC next week whilst they both work. I said yes only on the basis that I could get the cash a few days before I come down. They said yes.

So down to my AIBU.

AIBU to feel like they are taking the piss? Expecting me to go act like a child minder and cleaner and use my own cash (to end up short) whilst they both work and both get paid a full days wage whilst having a free child minder?.

I've been £35 short last week due to this. Which isn't much but on a skint week, it adds up.

Aibu?

OP posts:
MiniCooperLover · 04/09/2016 15:02

Is it possible they were upset you tidied their house ?? I know most people may not be thrilled (even though I don't doubt it clearly needed doing).

debbs77 · 04/09/2016 15:02

Definitely go back again and take photos if you can. If that is legal?

redshoeblueshoe · 04/09/2016 19:12

OSET - I didn't say I'd put the money ahead of the child's welfare, as I'm not the one who is skint at their expense.
However now she has the money - report away.

MushuDragon · 04/09/2016 20:42

Trying to organise a day where I go down...

The money is in my bank now so that's sorted.

OP posts:
Penfold007 · 04/09/2016 20:45

Its great that they have paid but you seriously need to step away. If you think the child is at risk phone SS tomorrow. Seriously concentrate on your own child.

Imbroglio · 04/09/2016 21:24

Good on you Mushu. We need more kindness and compassion in the world.

But agree with others that this family may need more help than you can provide. Take care of yourself.

TheBriscoesLady · 04/09/2016 21:46

Why on earth are you considering going again? Are you thriving on the drama? If you do have serious concerns, please look into reporting the family so that they can get the support they need

MushuDragon · 05/09/2016 06:27

It's nothing to do with drama.

I actually CARE about the DC!

OP posts:
MushuDragon · 05/09/2016 06:30

I'm still reporting, I'm not leaving it till I've been again as that could be weeks off. They need support, serious support.

OP posts:
Fraggleyourock · 06/09/2016 12:04

Any news mushu? Did you report? I understand you wanting to go back and check on the DC! I think I'd probably do the same. You're a good person.

MushuDragon · 06/09/2016 13:25

I haven't had a chance yet. One of my best friends ended up in hosp with pre term labour yesterday so I went with her :(. (She's ok, baby isn't coming just yet but they are keeping her in a few days)

I'm going to call tomorrow, when I have DD in nursery. So I can get my words right. I get anxiety when calling people so will sort out what I want to say and my main concerns.

OP posts:
Fraggleyourock · 07/09/2016 09:02

Aww, mushu, how frightening for your friend!! Ok glad everything is ok! I can totally relate to the anxiety over phone calls, I also suffer the same. Good luck!!

MushuDragon · 08/09/2016 13:49

Turns out I'm having their DC over to stay at my house next week!

OP posts:
HouseworkIsASin10 · 08/09/2016 13:50

Why?!

Imbroglio · 08/09/2016 21:50

Good for you, Mushu.

Alibobbob · 08/09/2016 22:04

You are not BUget them to pay the £40 owed and the next payment for babysitting otherwise they will continue to use you. I understand you love their DC but you are putting their needs before yours and your daughters - literally taking food out of your daughters mouth why they sit on a double days pay !!!!

Alibobbob · 08/09/2016 22:05

*BU not BUget lol

AnthonyPandy · 08/09/2016 23:37

Mushu you said like they have decided this and merely informed you that you are having them to stay. Are you happy for them to stay?

ilovelamp82 · 08/09/2016 23:50

Why?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 08/09/2016 23:52

Turns out I'm having their DC over to stay at my house next week

EH? Confused

After all the aggro, the travelling, the getting up early , the waiting for the money you paid out in petrol and the first time they reply is when you say "forget the money".
So they ignore you until you back down, then its "oh well, we don't need you, I'm at home"

and you're looking after them next week

Don't be a bloody doormat Mush.
"Turns out" my arse,

Let them drive 40 miles to yours then DON'T BE IN.

Go to see your friend and the teeny baby.
Read back through this thread of how many times they have ignored and humiliated you pleading for what they owe you and get some steel.

ConvincingLiar · 09/09/2016 10:15

What are the arrangements for next week? Are they going to be paying your expenses? I'd have the money upfront.

Oysterbabe · 09/09/2016 10:21

Obviously they should have just paid you immediately and are in the wrong. But I think it's very rude to clean someone's house if you've just been asked to babysit.

Nanny0gg · 09/09/2016 11:43

Obviously they should have just paid you immediately and are in the wrong. But I think it's very rude to clean someone's house if you've just been asked to babysit.
It's quite rude to ask someone to bring their children over to somewhere where it's too squalid to eat, use the toilet or play actually.

PGPsabitch · 09/09/2016 17:02

So will you be telling them an emphatic no or will you be so glad they are no longer off with you that you'll jump to it?

WillyW8nker · 09/09/2016 17:06

Say you'll do it next week and then don't turn up and don't reply to their messages?

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