We used a name to honour my FIL (but changed the spelling) so he is moaning that we might as well not have bothered. Should I change it?

[ConfusedAsEver]

I'm actually upset/annoyed. My FIL has an okay name (I don't love it, but we used my dad's name for DS1, so didn't mind using it) however both DH and I hate the way his dad's name is spelt, it's a 'unique' spelling.

So we used the original spelling. He is very annoyed claiming it's a completely different name and is giving DH a hard time about him preferring my dad and letting me walk all over him

Now I don't even want to use the blinking name!! WIBU to change the name? (Our son is registered btw)

We did this, my eldests middle name was my fathers name (was totally my husbands idea after I lay there getting stitched up) ... So when my second (and third as they were twins) was born we knew we would be using my FIL name, his name is Ben, we decided to use Benjamin instead, we said to him about it and I think he said he preferred Benjamin anyway ... Surely it's the thought that counts anway, when we talk about it we say your middle name is Benjamin (of whichever) just like your grandad. (Incidental we decided it got complained with the other twins so he shared his fathers name for his middle name rather than jump to grandparents)

You are not honouring him by giving your child a different version of his name, I can see his point.
However I can see why you didn't want him to have the unique spelling.
I think not calling him after fil would have been the best option really, or using fil middle name or something.

Soup I was just thinking that too. I Googled and it seems to be an Indonesian spelling. For that reason, I now actually think the OP is BU. The spelling probably honours his family's culture/heritage.

You FIL sounds mad. He must have gone through his entire life correcting the spelling of his perfectly well known and ordinary name. Why on earth would he want to inflict this on a child. It's not like its a lesser known alternative spelling; it is absolutely unique. I see no reason why he feels insulted, it is pronounced the same, just using the same spelling as every other William.

Can imagine the taunts now; does your willy smell like ham?

No no no.

Willy-Ham (hehe )

Did FiL's parents really decide to call him Whillyam, or did he choose it? Assuming he's at least around 60, it seems extraordinary given that people didn't have the fad for "unique" names 60 years ago. Did they have literacy problems?

If you had another name you liked just as much I think I'd change it. This episode, with Mr Silly Willy Ham, would taint the name for me forever. He's bloody lucky you named your son after him at all. In future you should address all correspondence to him as Mr W DickSpam !

On a more constructive note, my dad and uncle names are the first and middle name (respectively) of my DGM oldest brother.

When my brother came along, my DM felt my DGM's 2nd brother had been left out (nice as DM was obviously inlaw), so she used his first name as my DB middle name, but changed the spelling, so it was Antony, not Anthony.

If you had such a ridonkulous spelling then surely you wouldn't expect anyone to inflict that on your grandchild?

My DSIS had a similar issue when she called her twin DS after our DF and her FIL. DS1 was named after our Dad. DS2 was named Shaun after FIL, although his name was spelt Shawn which she/BIL didn't like the spelling of. FIL kicked off about it, so she called DS2 our Grandads name, James, instead

I have to admit she didn't tell BIL that's what our Grandad was called until he had agreed to it and birth was registered, and then she told PILS.

DSIS is a bit naughty reallly..............

Honestly, this is the best reason I have ever heard not to ever consider for a second naming your child after a family member because subsequent children's names ending up being part of a ridiculous Sides of the Family 'Who's Being Honoured?' Willy-Waving contest. Almost literally, in this case ...

if you like William yourself, I would keep it, but if not, use FIL's bad grace as a reason for saying, sorrowfully but clearly, 'Oh well, we thought you would like it, but as you don't we're just letting you know we re-registered baby William as Ezekiel/Tom/Jayden yesterday.'

dick-spam!!!

hahaha, you just nearly made my laptop wear my coffee.

If they had literacy problems, wouldn't the registrar just decide. FIL didn't know how to spell DH's name, so got the registrars version - not the one MIL wanted. Unique names may have been less common in those days, but were obviously not unknown.

Even if it is a spelling from another country, wouldn't you think that he would still be pleased?

Do the GSs have the same surname as FIL?

I Googled and it seems to be an Indonesian spelling. For that reason, I now actually think the OP is BU. The spelling probably honours his family's culture/heritage.

Can imagine the taunts now; does your willy smell like ham?

Perhaps the OP could clarify whether it's a cultural spelling. But in any case, the above poster is correct, kids in the playground wouldn't care where the name originated, they would just enjoy winding him up about it!

It's only a second name.

You're not really honouring him by changing it, IMO.

I'm not saying you're wrong I'm just saying I don't see the point in changing the spelling if it's not your ds's first name!

Plus, when I googled it loads of people came up with that spelling. Are they from a different country?

I can't imagine why you didn't retain your FIL's spelling(!)

Where does the OP say it's a second name? I missed that.

walter i think it is a first name x

Wow I have no idea why I thought second name!!

Fuck that! I don't blame you at now!!!

My friends son is Will-Yum

Honestly, this is the best reason I have ever heard not to ever consider for a second naming your child after a family member because subsequent children's names ending up being part of a ridiculous Sides of the Family 'Who's Being Honoured?' Willy-Waving contest. Almost literally, in this case grin...

Yes to this. I can see why he is upset but really that spelling is horrific. I'd have been tempted to not mention the spelling and just verbally tell him the kids name is firstname william surname and hope he never wanted to see the birth certificates.

I find the whole situation ridiculous: you can't 'honour' your parents by naming your children one thing or another anyway.

Has OP come back to explain if there's a cultural reason for the spelling?