To ask what embarrasses you about yourself?

[anahata]

Mine is that I badly bite my nails, but are too ashamed and embarrassed to show then to anyone such as a hypnotherapist to ask for help.

Anyone else?

Bugger this. I am far from perfect I have a belly (even when not pregnant), stretch marks, a tendency of being really hairy if I don't shave for a day and probably multiple other issues. I genuinely don't give a fuck. I'm hairy because I'm hairy, it will probably be a survival trait come the zombie apocalypse :) I'm covered in stretch marks and have seperated stomach muscles from large babies. I don't care and I don't think anyone else does either. Life is too short to bother.

I have trouble pronouncing my Rs. They come out more like a cross between a V and an R. (But not a W, thank god)

Oh lastrose.

I know there's nothing I can say that will change your outlook. But there's nothing wrong with your body type. There really, really isn't.

Have you ever talked to anyone about it?

So many people commenting on physical attributes like weigh or teeth, or personality traits like being shy

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves sometimes.

Maisie No. This is the first time I've ever actually articulated what it is I hate about myself. I usually just skirt around the issue. I've never invited comment, or opened a dialogue or talked about it with anyone. I don't want to hear what they have to say, so it's not something I complain about or anything.

I usually just say that I'm just "not good enough" or no one fancies me without expanding.

Even men who've claimed to like/fancy/be attracted to/love me have, at some point, passed comment. The relationship has gone downhill from then on and I've always ended it shortly afterwards. My mum told me no one would ever want/be attracted to/love me for many reasons. This being one of them. So whenever anyone says anything I'm filled with such self loathing and disgust that I can feel my throat tighten and I get pains in my chest.

Even thinking about it enough to type on here has given me pains in my chest

TheLastRoseOfSummer It's very painful at times. I have to take antibiotics constantly, which has caused IBS. Also had a few surgeries.
I've had it since I was a teenager, and am now well into my 40's so am quite resigned to the fact that I'm always going to have it.

There's not much I can do about the hidradenitis but I know that I need to sort my weight out. Easier said than done but I'm sick of feeling so crap about myself.
Your measurements sound perfectly normal check out an instagram user called curvywordy, she has similar measurements to you and looks amazing.

I'm embarrassed by my whole being. I make sure not to sit or stand too close to people because I know they would be repulsed by me.

WingsofNylon

Please don't say that!
I'm sure you look fine

Messy, disorganised, chew skin off fingers until they bleed, constant frowning and incontinence. Awesome!

God this thread is so sad . Where are all you anyway? When I'm out and about I have NEVER seen, met or spoken to anyone like described here. Just normal people getting on with their lives.

Anyway, I was going to say I'm embarrassed by my weight. I was having a wobble as I have a very important family wedding to go to next week. But frankly, after the year I've had, fuck it. I'm lucky to still be upright!

I think we're all right there, in plain sight, fronting up to the world as best we can.

I know from others that I present well, come across as positive, competent and self-confident. In reality, though, that's a coping mechanism. It's my armour that allows me to navigate the world. I'm probably not as shit as I think I am, but after one hell of a downhill slide on the physical front over the last 12 months when I was finally benefiting from the therapy, I think I've lost my bearings somewhat. Need to accept that self-worth is not defined either way by my increasing physical disability, BPD, or obesity, and that none of those makes me a bad person. It's much harder to do than to type.

lastrose I certainly didn't mean to make you so uncomfortable, I'm sorry

I also grew up with a mother who gave me a lot of shame about my "flaws" (they aren't actually flaws, but it took me years to realise that)- so I empathise.

As I said upthread, I know I can't say anything to change your outlook. But please, please think about exploring whatever avenues are available to you in terms of addressing this. I did a little bit of therapy and a lot of self help.

At the age of 40 I can finally accept and like myself now, which is very freeing.

LastRose I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable either but your measurements describe an enviable bodyshape! It is such a shame about your mum and twattish ex-boyfriends. I've love a bigger, rounder bum and am actually trying to make it more that shape with lots of squats at the gym - mine is sort of square and flat.

Spots in my face have been told is stress , hormonal , etc etc!! That doesn't help when you have massive red marks all over your chin/jawline

Mother Nature don't build straight lines
We're broken moulds in a grand design
We look a mess but we're doing fine
We're card carrying lifelong members
Of the Union of different kinds

Stolen song chorus but we are all different, Nobody's perfect, ivory towers fall down.
I learnt in rehab not to dislike myself. I am me, if people don't like me because of how I look that says more about them than it does me. I know things are hard to overcome. I have a thunder phobia which people laugh at but there we are that's me. Probably a phobia word for that but cba to look it up.
As far as I'm concerned I'm alive so each day is a new day with a new grey hair or something others will find fault with.
Someone may have a lovely face but a black heart.
I've overcome shovelling pills down my throat and now I'm grateful to still be here

Ta dah Sermon over.

Not much. I have ASD so probably miss most things. I used to suffer crippling embarrassment about a lot of things but now I don't care. I am a bit bothered about my teeth but they aren't too bad really. I'm hairy but I fix as much as I can be bothered with. I stopped biting my nails years ago. I do waffle on when I meet people but I have learned that it's an ASD thing so now I don't worry, because I have a reason and am working on stopping it. I bet if I met all of the people on this thread, I wouldn't know or notice about any of the things you've pointed out about yourselves.

I get embarrassed by my hearing impairment. (I wear hearing aids for it but they don't help in noisy environments and when they work less well than usual I do notice it). If I have to ask someone to repeat something more than twice I feel really, really stupid. It doesn't help that DH often takes the piss when he's the person I can't hear. Objectively I know this isn't my fault and that my DH is being a wanker, but it's hard to snap out of embarrassment when 'deaf old lady' jokes are still widely acceptable.

Lastrose your mum and your exes are disgusting, not you. Some of us would kill for a 30 inch waist. Think Nigella Lawson, not Meg Griffin.

I have a really loud (and apparently annoying) voice. It gets worse when i am drunk! It works quite well for my job as I am a teacher, but in real life not so much.

Annoyingly though, I am very shy and awkward around people i don't know, so I do the opposite and mumble incoherently when I am uncomfortable.

I also get panic attacks when driving, which are worst when driving on motorways and i wish i could just pull myself together because its completely psychological.

My nails are disgusting.

💐 for everyone who has shared (and for anyone who hasn't felt able to share, too)

The fact that I have lowed myself to gain 3 stone since Christmas.

No one really knows me. I yammer to much and over share crap that doesn't matter, so people think I'm too chatty and consider me social. Actually I'm an introvert and that other stuff is just a show, because in petrified they will see the real me, with all my shame and dirt and then hate me.

I'm working on it.

Ravenclaw You are not a daft old lady just because you have hearing aids. How many people have veneers on their teeth botox or silicone enlargements. You are you and you are not as dumb as me shovelling benzadrines down my throat because of cheap jibes from ex husband.
Better to have hearing aids than not being able to hear. It's time the media circus stopped air brushing pics in magazines to make someone like Lardarseshian look good or bad as the case may be.
Its time anti ageing creams were not branded a necessity. As my Gran says they are all duck shit and lard with different labels.
Sorry to preach ladies but I almost died shovelling feel good pills and now I appreciate being alive, I'm clean and presentable and believe a person has more value than what's on the surface.

sleepflower43 Good luck with sorting your weight out

Maisie Please don't apologise, I didn't have to reply . I kind of needed to. I'm trying to do work on my self esteem and 'owning' my feelings is part of it. I'm also trying to see that I'm imperfect but that my 'flaws' are what make me, me. But it's not really working.

FindoGask and Ravenclaw Thanks. The thing is, it isn't my size or my measurements I have an issue with particularly. It really is my shape. I hate people being aware. My mother was very critical and used to tell me how unappealing I looked with a disgusted sneer on her face. I can't tell if my ex boyfriends have been. Some have, but even just making an observation is enough. God, even saying they like it would be enough for me to shut down.

I just don't feel I'm worthy of love because my shape is so unattractive. You know how we always say that abusive/inadequate men are drawn to women they see as vulnerable etc? Well I feel that the only men who are 'attracted' to me are so because they see me as being inadequate and flawed, easy to manipulate and less likely to have the opportunity to stray.

I can't pronounce the 'th' sound in words so everything is pronounced with a f sound. It's really embarrassing. I never used to be bothered but I have a real complex about it now and go out of my way to avoid saying the words 'think' 'three' 'thought' 'thread' 'theme' etc etc