To ask what is the worst attempt at impressing you/chatting you up you've seen or heard?

[Mycatsabastard]

I am 47. I could maybe get away with 45. I was driving back from the shops with DD2 (who is 10) the other day and some yoof in a car with tinted windows (all down) and a big exhaust came alongside me at the lights. He was revving his engine and edging forward. He kept looking at me and winking. He revved his engine some more. He had no top on and looked about 25.

I am not sure if his car was trying to impress my car of it his was a really bad way of trying to get my attention. Nonetheless I found it all highly amusing if bewildering. I have yet to tell my teenager that this is how men will attempt to woo her in the next few years.

Share your horror stories and funnies.

I'd love to double dip you both

Sweet Jesus! Do men think this is actually what a woman wants to hear?

Some of these are horrible, some are hilarious.

I walked into a butchers once and was met with "come over to my place tonight, I've got the meat, you bring the wine" to which I replied "I'm a vegetarian" and sauntered off with my bags full of various meat!

I used to walk to college every day-about a 35 minute walk and one day a guy fell in step beside me and started chating,where are you off to etc. I chatted along pleasantly until he revealed that he was getting up every morning to watch me go by from his balcony! I changed my route to college after that!

"Hello - I'm looking for a lovely young woman just like you to marry"

I was 16

men think this is actually what a woman wants to hear?

Maybe it worked in his wife

I once popped into the co op before work did some lunch. A big bloke in a high viz appeared beside me, too close as I was putting in my pin.
Him: "you work at that school, don't you?"
Me: "yes, do you have children at $&@?/ Primary.
Him: "no but I've seen you! (Said with a Lear as he got even closer).

Also had a six your old come into school a steel me that his uncle wanted to "give me one."
Poor child was very confused about what his uncle was going to give me and wanted to know if he could share it.

So many typos. Sorry

I've got the meat, you bring the wine

Should have said, 'no thanks, I don't like chipolata'.

I was 16 and in Yates wine bar on Xmas eve (classy)

A guy came up to me, gave me his card and said 'I'm a car sales man, I'd love to take you for a test drive'

BUT it gets worse. I took the card home (more of a joke than intending to call him) and the day after happened to tell my mum the cheesey story. Turned out the guy was my mum's friend's son, he was 34 and married!

Just remembered. A 'businessman' wanted to buy me in Mexico once. I think I was about 20 at the time. He even had the audacity to ask my dad. As you can imagine it didn't go down too well.

A random 'friend of a friend' on a night out asked me to hold his wad of cash . He handed me about £200 in cash so he could pick up his pint, then took it back off me. Completely unnecessary (he has two hands for christs sake) and also insulting that he thought I'd be so impressed by this money that I'd leap into bed with him .

I was 23. A man in his 50s in the pub leered at me and said "my daughter's your age", then asked for my number.

Just remembered another one.. aged 23 again, working as a receptionist in London. I was the only one on the front desk and someone, again in his 50s (and visiting his GP due to a case of erectile dysfunction, which popped up on his notes as I looked up a letter for him).

He asked me if I liked Formula 1 and said he would take me there the next day if I agreed to meet him for "drinky poos" after my shift.

Not sure whether it was the worst, but the most hilarious one was definitely the guy who handed out flyers to advertise himself. No, really. He approached us on the road and gave us his ... advertisement. Later on, I saw that he had placed some of those at university, too. Weird guy.

When I was about 18ish I was walking down the street and this much older man started following me. I started walking faster and so did he, then he shouted 'I really like your hair!' When I didn't reply he shouted 'can I have a bit of it?' course you can pal...

Mid-twenties me was out with work colleagues in a local pub. Aussie bloke decided to approach us and spend a good ten minutes talking over us and telling us how uptight and unattractive british women were in comparison with every other nationality in the world. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place with him.

I laughed and told him to fuck off, obviously.

God, some of these are grim [boak]

Bloke in his 50s sidled up to me in a club:

I wish you were a carpet because I really want to lay you.

Me:

I was in a bar when I was a student and some older blokes came over to chat my group up. The chap I spoke to seemed nice enough till he 'revealed' he was a footballer. Who for? I asked. Tranmere apparently. Now they're not a well known or particularly glamorous team which might be why he picked it. But unfortunately for him I am a girl who knows my footie and they had recently played my team in a massive game. I tried to engage him in conversation about it as I'd been there. He clearly hadn't. When his mates found out he'd tried the 'professional footballer' line and I'd sussed him they absolutely pissed themselves.

Still makes me chuckle.

LolaStarr I can't stop laughing at that one!

On a birthday night out a man at the bar (who had not said anything at all to me and I hadn't noticed he was even there as I was busy ordering my drink) licked my neck. Obviously I turned round and asked him what the hell he was doing. The barman saw and was very good, intervened and asked me if I would like him removed from the pub. Not wanting to cause a scene so early in the night, I said no as long as he left me alone. Barman called over the bouncer who had a polite word in his ear. Let's just say he didn't keep to his promise (he later stood behind me and stroked my hair) and was turfed out before I had even got half way through my drink. I cannot remember him saying a single word to me at all.

Not really a line or an attempt to impress, but in a nightclub last year some random guy came up and just started hugging me. Couldn't get away so was mouthing help to my male friends, they came over and got him off me. Have also had someone ask if I thought his beard suited him. He looked about 40 odd. Then he said he thought I was pretty. Said thank you and sidled off to dance with my friends.

Remembered another. I was working at a holiday park and on my day off I used to get the bus to the big town nearby. I was 19 at the time. Sat waiting at the bus stop and this yoof of about 15 came and sat next to me, started asking questions about where I was from (my accent not being local to area), how I'd got to the place etc. Then asked if I had a boyfriend. I answered in the affirmative and he wanders off across the road, where he hid unsuccessfully in a hedge and stared at me until the bus came. Freaky!

Pushing my baby in her pram past a bus stop, a man who was having his morning can of strongbox commented 'eeyaaa love, do you want me to give you another of them?' Pointing at my daughter. I turned back slightly and he got a glimpse of my extremely pregnant belly! Erm, no thanks!

'Are you a supermodel?'

'Erm no, I'm 5"4 '

Oh and someone whistled at me from his van the other day when I was out walking with my baby but considering I'm 4 weeks post partum I assume it was an ironic whistle